Ancient Jewish Wedding Customs and Yeshua’s Second Coming
As we are soon approaching the traditional month for weddings, it is a great time to reflect on the much anticipated gathering of the bride (kallah) and the wedding of the Lamb!
“For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready. … Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” (Revelation 19:7, 9)
Jewish wedding bands are often inscribed with Ani L’Dodi V’Dodi Li (I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine). The words of this verse are also considered an acrostic for “Elul,” reflecting our very real potential to enjoy a vibrant, intimate relationship with Adonai if we will only turn from sin in repentance and seek Him.
While the exchange of covenant vows between a man and woman who love each other is a blessing in any culture, there are aspects of the Jewish wedding celebration that are rich in spiritual truths.
This ancient ritual prophetically points to the coming of the Messiah and the great celebration of the marriage supper of the Lamb. It also teaches us unique lessons about God’s covenant love for His people.
One would be hard pressed to find an occasion more joyous than that of a Jewish wedding. In Hebrew, it’s called a simcha (a joyous occasion).
“Yet in the towns of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are deserted, inhabited by neither people nor animals, there will be heard once more the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom.” (Jeremiah 33:10–11)
An Orthodox Jewish wedding in Jerusalem: Traditionally, on the day of his wedding, the chatan (groom) wears first wears the kittel (white linen garment), which signifies purity, holiness and new beginnings. Thereafter, he wears it on special occasions such as Rosh Hashanah (New Year’s), Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement), and Pesach (Passover).
There are three distinct parts to the ancient Jewish wedding:
- shiddukhin (mutual commitment),
- erusin (engagement), and
- nissuin (marriage).
Shiddukhin: A Time of Mutual Commitment
“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
Shiddukhin refers to the preliminary arrangements prior to the legal betrothal.
Signing the ketubah (marriage contract): In ancient times, the ketubah protected the rights of the wife by specifying the groom’s responsibilities in caring for her, and the amount of support that would be due her in the event of a divorce.
In ancient times, the father of the groom often selected a bride (kallah) for his son, as did Abraham for his son Isaac (Genesis 24:1-4).
In Ultra-Orthodox Judaism today, many marriages are still arranged by a marriage broker or matchmaker called a shadkhan. It’s considered an exalted and holy vocation to find and arrange a good marital match, called a shiddukh, between a man and woman.
In ancient times, marriage was looked upon as more of an alliance for reasons of survival or practicality, and the concept of romantic love remained a secondary issue, if considered at all. Romantic love grew over time.
Rebecca at the Well, Giovanni Antonio Pellegrini
Of course, the consent of the bride-to-be is an important consideration. Rebecca (Rivkah), for example, was asked if she agreed to go back with Abraham’s servant to marry Abraham’s son, Isaac. She went willingly (Genesis 24:57–59).
Likewise, we cannot be forced into a relationship with the Son, Yeshua (Jesus).
In the same way that Rebecca was asked if she would go with Abraham’s servant, the Holy Spirit (Ruach HaKodesh) asks us if we are willing to follow Him to be joined in a covenant of love with Yeshua.
Traditionally, in preparation for the betrothal ceremony, the bride (kallah) and groom (chatan) are separately immersed in water in a ritual called the mikvah, which is symbolic of spiritual cleansing.
In Matthew 3:13–17, we read that Yeshua has already been immersed (baptized) by Yochanan (John) in the waters of mikvah at the Jordan River.
As the Bride-to-be, we are also asked to be immersed.
“Whoever believes and is baptized [ritually immersed] will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.” (Mark 16:16)
A groom rejoices by dancing with his friends after immersing himself in the mikvah. The water for this mikvah bath is outside and fed by a spring, from which the natural water runs down a hill into the mikvah, just outside of Jerusalem.
Erusin: The Betrothal
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22)
After the immersion, the couple entered the huppah (marriage canopy)—symbolic of a new household being planned, to establish a binding contract.
Here, the groom would give the bride money or a valuable object such as a ring, and a cup of wine was customarily shared to seal their covenant vows.
In this public ceremony under the huppah, the couple entered into the betrothal period, which typically lasted for about a year. Although they were considered married, they did not live together or engage in sexual relations.
An outdoor Jewish wedding under a huppah in Vienna
To annul this contract, the couple would need a religious divorce (get), which had to be initiated by the husband.
Matthew 1:18–25 provides an excellent example of this.
During the erusin of Yosef (Joseph) and Miriam’s (Mary), Yosef discovered that Miriam was pregnant, and he considered divorcing her, although he had not yet brought her home as his wife.
Love is patient and kind
“… he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.’” (Matthew 1:19–20)
The Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins, by William Blake
During the erusin period, the groom was to prepare a place for his bride, while the bride focused on her personal preparations: wedding garments, lamps, etc.
Although the bride knew to expect her groom after about a year, she did not know the exact day or hour. He could come earlier. It was the father of the groom who gave final approval for him to return to collect his bride.
For that reason, the bride kept her oil lamps ready at all times, just in case the groom came in the night, sounding the shofar (ram’s horn) to lead the bridal procession to the home he had prepared for her.
In the Parable of the Ten Virgins (Matthew 25:1–13), Yeshua (Jesus) likened the Kingdom of Heaven to this special period of erusin, when the groom comes for his bride:
“At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’ Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps.” (Matthew 25:6–7)
In Jewish weddings today, there are two cups of wine during the wedding ceremony. After the rabbi recites the betrothal blessings accompanying the first, the couple drinks from the cup. Since wine is associated with Kiddish, the prayer of sanctification recited on Shabbat, and since marriage is the sanctification of the bride and groom to each other, marriage is also called kiddushin.
So too today, in the season of Yeshua’s end-time return, we should be careful to remain alert and prepared for His coming, since Yeshua was speaking to His disciples prophetically about the condition of the Church in the last days.
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 7: 21)
Nissuin: The Marriage
“And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:3)
The final step in the Jewish wedding tradition is called nissuin (to take), a word that comes from naso, which means to lift up.
At this time, the groom, with much noise, fanfare and romance, carried the bride home. Once again, the bride and groom would enter the huppah, recite a blessing over the wine (a symbol of joy), and finalize their vows.
It is traditional in some communities for the bride to circle the groom seven times and then stand to the groom’s right side under the huppah. Since seven is the number of completion and perfection, this act symbolizes the “wholeness and completeness they cannot attain separately” (Aish).
Now finally, they would consummate their marriage and live together as husband and wife, fully partaking of all the duties and privileges of the covenant of marriage.
Likewise, the Messiah, as the Bridegroom, has gone to prepare a place for us.
The day of the return of the Messiah for His Bride is soon approaching.
Although, we know approximately the time of His return from the signs of the times, “the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.” (2 Peter 3:10)
The Bride (Believers in Yeshua) should be living consecrated lives, keeping themselves pure and holy in preparation for the Nissuin and the Wedding Feast of the Lamb, when the Groom comes with the blast of the shofar (1 Thessalonians 4: 16) to bring His Bride home.
Traditional Jewish Marriages Today
“Let the bridegroom leave his room and the bride her chamber [huppah].” (Joel 2:16)
Today, in traditional Judaism, the erusin and the nissuin are combined into one.
A Jewish bride and groom take a walk beside the ocean together for the first time as man and wife.
The bride and groom sign the marriage contract (ketubah) in the presence of the rabbi and two witnesses before the ceremony.
Unlike a Christian wedding, where it’s generally taboo for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony, in a Jewish wedding, the groom must see his bride before the ceremony.
Jacob Meets Rachel at the Well, by William Dyce
Why? Remember the story of Laban, who tricked Jacob into marrying his eldest daughter, Leah, even though he loved Rachel?
Since Jacob didn’t ensure the identity of his bride, he ended up marrying the woman he thought would be his sister-in-law, Leah. (Genesis 29:21–30)
Although in ancient times, the wedding feast (seudah) after the nissuin might have included seven full days of food, music, dancing and celebrations (Judges 14:10–12), today the Jewish ceremony is usually followed by a wedding supper and reception with food, wine, music and dance!
However, Orthodox Jews celebrate after the wedding for seven nights, with friends and family, hosting festive meals in honor of the bride and groom.
Jewish Wedding in Morocco, by Eugene Delacroix (Louvre Museum)
The Marriage Supper of the Lamb
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.” (Revelation 21: 1–2)
When Messiah returns for us, and everything in the world today indicates that this will be very soon, we will celebrate the marriage supper of the Lamb with Him and our joy (simcha) will be beyond measure.
But there will be those who won’t share in our simcha or celebrate with us because they do not know Yeshua!
Now is the time to reach out to them, while we are still in the erusin period, before the Bridegroom comes.
“Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. … The Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come!’ And let him who hears say, ‘Come!’ Whoever is thirsty, let him come.” (Revelation 22:12, 17)
The Ancient Jewish Wedding
The ancient Jewish wedding has special relevance for the days in which we live because these are the days immediately preceding the return of the Messiah Yeshua for His bride. When He comes in the clouds to take us away with Him, He will not come as a carpenter, nor as a rabbi, teacher, shepherd, nor even a high priest. He is coming again as a Bridegroom/King. At this very moment, His heart is longing for the day when He will gather His bride unto Himself. This union has been in the heart and plan of God from the beginning of time.
The Bible chronicles the love relationship between God and His people. It tells us of the marriage of God to Israel and the marriage covenant that He kept, even though His people did not (Jeremiah 31:32).
It also tells us of a new marriage covenant for both Jews and non-Jews. The entire Bible is actually a marriage covenant, both "Old" and "New." When seen in this light, the need to understand Jewish marriage customs at the time of Yeshua comes into focus.
Our Messiah followed the steps of a Jewish bridegroom in taking a bride for Himself. Much has been lost to the body of believers by not seeing Jesus in His original Jewish context. The ancient Jewish wedding customs are a case in point. As you learn of these customs, you will sense an added richness in your relationship with the One whom your soul loves. The Apostle Paul gave beautiful expression to the richness and anointing in the Jewish root of belief in Yeshua as Messiah in Romans 11:17. This richness is part of your adorning as Messiah's bride. One of our goals as the coming of our Bridegroom draws near should be to adorn ourselves with the Jewish jewels of God's Word. Let the adorning begin, and let Isaiah 61:10 be our confession:
"I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for He hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, He hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels."
A Bridal Relationship
Two verses in the New Covenant Scriptures highlight the bridal relationship that Yeshua has with the individual believer. The first is 2 Corinthians 11:2. The Apostle Paul speaks in this verse to all believers, both women and men: “For I am jealous for you with godly jealously. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to the Messiah.” Betrothed means engaged. In some way, believers, both male and female, are spiritually engaged to a bridegroom. We are to be like virgins, spiritually, as we relate to this “husband.”
Paul continues with the analogy in Romans 7:4: “Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Messiah, that you may be married to another – to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God.” We are married to One who has been raised from the dead. That One is Yeshua, the Son of God, the Messiah. The purpose of our union is to bear fruit to God . . . fruit in terms of souls (Proverbs 11:30), works that glorify God (Ephesians 2:10), as well as the fruit of the Ruach HaKodesh (the Holy Spirit) (Galatians 5:22).
In the fifth chapter of the book of Ephesians, Paul speaks again concerning the relationship between Messiah and His body, using a bridal analogy: “Wives should submit to their husbands as they do to the Lord; because the husband is head of the wife, just as the Messiah, as head of the Messianic Community, is himself the one who keeps the body safe... As for husbands, love your wives, just as the Messiah loved the Messianic Community, indeed gave himself up on its behalf, in order to set it apart for God, making it clean through immersion in the mikveh, so to speak in order to present the Messianic Community to himself as a bride to be proud of, without a spot, wrinkle or any such thing but holy and without defect.” The passage concludes with: “There is profound truth hidden here, which I say concerns the Messiah and the Messianic Community.” (JNT)
The most intimate of human relationships is the marriage relationship. As such, it is a picture of the intimacy that the individual believer can have with God. Captured by love, cleansed by blood, transformed by His Spirit, Messiah’s bride will one day stand before Him without spot or wrinkle. As the bridegroom says in the Song of Songs: “Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee” (Song 4:7). He is the One who accomplishes this work in His bride. We can be very thankful for that! As we progress through the steps of the ancient Jewish wedding, we’ll find out some more about the sanctification of the bride. Let’s begin at the beginning, now, with the selection of the bride.
“I have betrothed you
to one husband...” 2 Corinthians 11:2
Selection of the Bride
In ancient Israel, brides were usually chosen by the father of the bridegroom. He would send his most trusted servant to search for a bride for his son. We see in the book of Genesis, for example, that Abraham sent his most trusted servant Eliezer (whose name means “God’s helper”) to find a wife for his son Isaac (Genesis 24:2-9). The servant found Rebekah, who became the very first Jewish bride. Eliezer was perhaps the forerunner of what later became known as the shadkhan or matchmaker.
The bridegroom’s father would, of course, act in his son’s best interest in choosing a bride. Perhaps, if the son was old enough, they would confer together. In either case, the bridegroom selected the bride (not vice-versa). A verse from the New Covenant elevates this custom to a spiritual level: “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain . . . “ (John 15:16). We have been chosen to be part of Messiah’s bride. If you are gentile by birth, you have been chosen once. If you are Jewish, you have been chosen twice! Both are recipients of the same love.
Many times the bride had not seen her husband-to-be, but had found out about him through the servant. This is the case with the bride of Messiah. We have not seen Yeshua, but God’s servant, the Holy Spirit, has revealed Him to us. We love our Bridegroom, sight unseen as expressed in 1 Peter 1:8: “Whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory. . .” We see Yeshua now through eyes of faith. One day we will see him face to face.
In Matthew 22:2-3 we read about a king who prepared a marriage for his son and sent forth his servants to call them that were bidden to the wedding, but they would not come. The same thing happens in the spiritual realm. It is called resisting the Holy Spirit. As the servant of God, the Holy Spirit goes out into the highways and byways seeking a bride for God’s Son. Many resist Him, but not all. As I meditated on this truth one day many years ago when we lived on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale, a car drove up into our driveway. A woman got out, saw me in my beach chair on the upper deck, and asked, “Is this Love Song to the Messiah?” I said it was (our ministry at that time was based in our home). She continued, “I’m Jewish and I’m beginning to believe that perhaps Jesus really is the Messiah, and I was wondering if anyone here could tell me about that.” I invited her in, (The Holy Spirit had already extended the invitation!) and she became a part of the bride of Messiah.
That was in the 1980’s. Since that time the Ruach HaKodesh has begun moving dramatically among God’s ancient people. We are seeing the veil of blindness (Romans 11:25) replaced by a bridal veil almost weekly. A number of the new bridal souls are over seventy years of age. Glory to God!
Yeshua as a Jewish bridegroom always initiates the love. He selects us; we don’t select Him. Scripture tells that “We love Him because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Most of us, including myself, were wooed and pursued by the Lord for quite a while before we even began to acknowledge His presence or reach out to Him. His choosing us is indeed a miracle. Why would the King of kings and Lord of lords choose me? This is what the Shulamite maiden asks in the Song of Songs 2:1 when she says: “I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.” (In other words, I’m just a common wildflower. What does He see in me?) The King’s answer is: “Like a lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters” (Song 2:2).
He has chosen us because He loves us.
He loves us because He has chosen to.
His selection of us is mysterious, gracious and wonderful!
The Bride Price
Brides in Bible times were purchased. A bride price or mohar was paid for a bride. We read in Deuteronomy 24:1 that a man “took” or “acquired” a wife. The term used for this in Hebrew is kichah, a business term. The price was paid to the father of the bride, both to compensate him for the loss of a worker in his household and to show how much the bridegroom loved and valued the bride. Virgins brought double the price of widows or divorced women. If the going rate for a bride was two camels, fifty shekels of silver,
a tent or whatever, the bridegroom could pay more than was required if he chose to. Sometimes the bride price did not include money or goods. In the case of Jacob and Rachel, the bride price was service to Rachel’s father Laban. We read in Genesis about the price that Jacob paid for his bride: “So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her” (Genesis 29:20).
Despite the obvious element of romance seen in the story of Jacob and Rachel, brides were considered possessions in ancient Israel. The word for wife, be’ulah, literally means the “owned one.” Husband or ba’al means “owner” or “master.” “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s,” is an exortation found in the tenth commandment (Exodus 20:17).
Since a wife was purchased, she belonged to her husband.
Although this may seem cruel and unjust in today’s culture and way of thinking, it was actually a step above what was happening in the pagan world at that time. There was no value placed on wives. If a man wanted a wife, he simply took her to his house, had intercourse with her and she became his wife. God introduced sanctity and permanence into the marriage relationship, and the mohar or bride price was part of raising a standard of righteousness. Women had value. They were to be cherished. This important truth is beautifully expressed by Maurice Lamm in his book, The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage, “Before the revelation at Sinai, a man would meet a woman on the street and if both desired marriage, he would bring her into his home and have intercourse privately (without the testimony of witnesses) and she would become his wife. When the Torah was given, the Jews were instructed that in order to marry a woman, the man should ‘acquire her’ in the presence of witnesses and then she would become his wife. And as soon as she is acquired and becomes betrothed, even though she has not cohabited and did not even enter the groom’s home, she is a married woman. Anyone, other than her husband, who cohabits with her, is guilty [and merits] capital punishment. If he wishes to separate from her, he requires a divorce.”
There are seven different verses in the Bible which say: “...And when a man taketh a wife...“ (KJV). From these and other verses, such as Jeremiah 31:22, “... a woman shall encompass a man,” a custom developed in the ancient Jewish wedding called the “seven circuits.” The bride circled her bridegroom seven times, showing her submission to him, her protection of him, her belonging to him, and his belonging to her. This custom is still part of many Jewish weddings today.
The concept of being purchased and belonging to another has a powerful spiritual application. We, as the bride of Messiah, have also been purchased. A very high mohar was paid for us – the blood of Yeshua Himself. The Messiah wrestled with that price in the Garden of Gethsemane. It was as if He were asking that fateful night, “Father, do you know what they’re asking for her?” Our Bridegroom chose to pay the very high price because of the “joy set before him,” the joy of seeing each one of us redeemed, whole, new creations, a pure, spotless bride. We were the joy set before Yeshua in the Garden.
The New Covenant mentions our mohar a number of times. In 1 Peter 1:18-19 we read: “Knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things like silver or gold... but with the precious blood of Messiah, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.” Ephesians 1:14 speaks of the “redemption of
the purchased possession” referring to the bride of Messiah.
1 Corinthians 7:23 states that since we are bought with a price, we should not become slaves of men. Our mohar is also mentioned in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20: “Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” In Luke 22:19-20, Yeshua mentions the bride price at His last Passover seder on earth, immediately before He paid the price in full: “And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is My body which is given for you . . . This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is shed for you.’ “ The following scripture is
an exhortation to leaders in the body of Messiah: “Watch out for yourselves, and for all the flock in which the Ruach HaKodesh has placed you as leaders, to shepherd God’s Messianic Community, which he won for himself at the cost of his own Son’s blood” (Acts 20:28 JNT).
Yielding to and accepting the fact that we no longer belong to ourselves because we have been “bought with a price” is a key to entering into the abundant life that our Bridegroom has for us. When we give Him all of us, He freely gives us all of Him. How can we withhold anything from Him when the high price He paid for us shows us how valuable we are to Him?
When Yeshua died on the tree, paying the mohar for His bride, He said: “It is finished!” (John 19:30). The word that He spoke as His final thought is from the Hebrew root ka’lal which means to complete, make perfect or finish. It is the same root of the word for bride: kallah. Could Yeshua’s last words on the cross have had bridal overtones? Was His bride His last thought as He paid the bride price for her?
We were on His heart, why not on His lips?
Betrothal/Ketubah
The ancient Jewish marriage ceremony consisted of two main parts, beginning with betrothal or engagement. The Hebrew word for betrothal is erusin. Another word, kidushin, was also used to describe this step in the marriage process. Kidushin literally means sanctification or holiness with the idea of being set apart. It comes from the Hebrew word for holy, kadosh. The God of the Hebrews elevated marriage to a holy state and introduced Himself as a part of the relationship. This was the beginning of the concept
of “holy matrimony.” The word for the betrothed woman was also related to the word holy: a bride was m’kudeshet.
Betrothal occurred up to twelve months before the actual wedding and involved covenant (“brit” in Hebrew). It was like our engagement today, but with a much greater sense of commitment because of the covenant entered into. Covenant in Bible times was serious, final, sealed in blood, and legally binding. Covenants could not be easily broken. Once a couple entered into covenant at betrothal, they were legally married in all aspects except for the physical consummation of the marriage. If joint checking accounts had existed in ancient times, the couple could have had one.
At the betrothal ceremony, a marriage contract or ketubah was presented to the father of the bride. This contract was actually a covenant which stipulated the bride price and other provisions that the bridegroom was prepared to make for his bride. Before the ketubah was introduced, women had no rights, no security, no guarantee of protection and provision. The ketubah as a covenantal document elevated women to a
new status in society. In it, the bridegroom promised to work for honor, support and maintain his bride
in truth, provide her food, clothing and necessities, and live together with her as husband and wife. The ketubah is still very much a part of Jewish weddings today. Many times it is read publicly and serves as an interlude between the prenuptial or betrothal ceremony of erusin and the nuptial ceremony of nisuin. A bride cherishes her ketubah both for its meaning and beauty.
Just as the ketubah was the inalienable right of the bride, the New Testament, our ketubah, contains promises for us from our soon coming Bridegroom. So many times people look at the Bible as a big book of “don’ts.” It is not that at all. The New Covenant is a marriage contract that shows us all we are entitled to as part of Yeshua’s bride. All the promises in this Book, (which is actually a love letter to the bride), are for us to receive by faith. For example, in Matthew 6:28-30 our Heavenly Bridegroom says to us: “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” Our Bridegroom promises to clothe us, feed us, provide shelter for us, and live with us as husband and wife. He is in covenant with us. Our ketubah testifies to this.
We read in Jeremiah 31:31-34 of the New Ketubah
(Covenant) that God promised to make with His people Israel: “Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah – not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the Lord. But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they shall all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the Lord. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”
This ketubah or marriage contract was first promised to the house of Israel, and later opened up
to “whosoever will.” This meant that non-Jews who at one time were strangers to God’s covenants and promises could enter in and fully partake of His blessings, including the blessings of the New (“marriage”) Covenant. The New Covenant is built on even better promises than the one God gave the Jewish people at Mt. Sinai according to Hebrews 8:6. Through this covenant, our Bridegroom promises to take God’s law from the outside and place it on the inside so that we might “know Him.” The Hebrew word “to know” used here is yada. It speaks of intimacy of relationship in the deepest sense. This is the same Hebrew word used for sexual intercourse in the Scriptures, i.e. “And Cain knew his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch” (Genesis 4:17). Such intimacy with a Holy God is available to all who enter into the New Covenant and accept His Ketubah. That includes you! Cup of the Covenant
When the terms of the ketubah were accepted (at our 25th anniversary in Jerusalem, a white handkerchief was held up by Neil and the rabbi to indicate the bridegroom’s acceptance of all the unilateral obligations of the ketubah), a cup of wine was shared to seal the marriage covenant. The Hebrew word for bridegroom, hatan, means “one who enters into covenant.” Wine has been blessed for over 2,000 years in the same manner whenever a covenant was entered into, by saying: “Baruch ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha olam borey pre hagafen.” (Blessed art Thou, O Lord, our God, King of the universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.) The blessing of this cup of wine was called Birkat Erusin. The bride and groom shared the same cup, symbolizing the shared life that would be theirs. A second cup of wine would be shared many months later. Wine in Judaism has always symbolized joy. Marriage in Jewish thought is the highest source of joy on earth. Wine also symbolized blood. The marriage covenant is a blood covenant in the eyes of God. Two lives become one in a lifelong commitment.
The cup that Yeshua took at His last Passover seder on earth was the cup of the New Marriage Covenant with His bride. We read in Luke 22:20: “Likewise He also took the cup after supper saying, this cup is the new testament (covenant) in My blood, which is shed for you.” Yeshua and His disciples were celebrating the anniversary of God’s wedding to Israel (the Exodus). He was telling them that the New Marriage Covenant (the one prophesied in Jeremiah 31) would be sealed with His blood. Yeshua and His disciples drank from a common cup in an upper room in Jerusalem. They became one as they drank wine together.
When we partake of that cup at the Lord’s Seder (Communion) we remember our Heavenly Bridegroom, the mohar paid for us, and our covenantal relationship with Yeshua. Just as two cups of
wine were used as part of the ancient Jewish wedding, (the second at the actual hometaking of the bride), Messiah’s bride will one day soon drink a cup with Yeshua in person at the second part of our marriage ceremony. Yeshua mentioned this cup in Matthew 26:29 when He said: “I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father’s kingdom.” Until that day, we have the communion cup to remind us of our covenant with our Heavenly Bridegroom. We are to remember His love more than wine . . . (Song of Songs 1:4). It is more precious than anything else this world has to offer.
Gifts for the Bride
Betrothal included the giving of gifts by the bridegroom to his bride. Abraham’s servant Eliezer brought ten camels laden with gifts when he went to find a bride for his master’s son: “Then the servant brought out jewelry of silver, jewelry of gold, and clothing, and gave them to Rebekah . . . “ (Genesis 24:53). (When Rebekah had volunteered to water the ten camels, she had no idea that the camels and their precious cargo would soon be hers, nor that one of these camels would carry her to her bridegroom.)
Many times a bridegroom gave a coin or other object of value to his betrothed bride – something
that would help her remember him while they were apart. Eventually the customary gift became a ring.
The giving of the ring to the bride constituted the main feature of erusin (betrothal). As the bridegroom placed the ring on the bride’s index finger he recited the traditional Jewish espousal formula: “Ha-rey at m’kudeshet lib’taba’at zu k’dat Moshe v’Yisrael.” The most ancient wedding ceremonies contained only the phrase: “Ha-rey at m’kudeshet li” (Be thou consecrated unto me.) The phrase: “K’dat Moshe v’Yisrael” (according to the law of Moses and Israel) was added later. And “b’taba’ at zu” (by means of this ring) was added still later.
The real focus of the gift giving was not the gift, but the giver. The object of value, whether a ring, coin or whatever, made the bride think about her bridegroom. Today young men usually give their fianceés a diamond engagement ring. When the young woman looks at the ring she is reminded of the one who gave her the ring. In much the same way, God’s Holy Spirit is our spiritual engagement ring who leads
us to focus on our Heavenly Bridegroom. He doesn’t call attention to Himself, but rather to the One who purchased us. Just as a diamond is many faceted, so is the Holy Spirit. As a living bridal gift, He helps to keep our eyes on our soon-coming, many-faceted Bridegroom.
The Holy Spirit is the greatest gift that Yeshua has given to His Bride. 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 tells us that the Lord has given us the Spirit in our hearts as a deposit – a token of our bridal inheritance. Through Him we receive many gifts: 1 Corinthians 12:8-11 mentions some of them: “For to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by the same Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills.”
What bride would say to a bridegroom who comes to her with a gift: “Oh, you shouldn’t have done that! You know you can’t afford that. Why did you get me that gift?!” And yet, the bride of Messiah does this with our Heavenly Bridegroom. So many of us don’t know how to receive from Him!! Today is the day to begin to change. Our God is a giver. Every good and perfect gift comes from Him (James 1:17). When we receive gifts from God, we give Him pleasure. His gifts, given through the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit), are meant to be shared (not consumed on our own lusts). If we are willing to be vessels through which the bridal gifts flow out to touch the lives of others, God will give us as much as we can receive.
God, the Great Giver, is looking for receivers! Do you desire to become one? Pray with me right now: “Dear Heavenly Father – It is easy for me to give, but I have a difficult time receiving. Help me today to see that every good and perfect gift comes from You and to receive from others with knowledge of this truth. I want to receive all that you have for me, every bridal gift with which You want to bless me. Thank you for changing my life, in Yeshua’s name. Amen.”
Some more gifts that Messiah’s bride receives include: eternal life, forgiveness of sins, prophecy, ministry, teaching, exhortation, giving, ruling, mercy (Romans 12), and faith. And there are even more gifts for the bride as she learns more about her Heavenly Bridegroom from God’s servant, the Holy Spirit.
Something to ponder: the gifts of the Holy Spirit are precious jewels that adorn Messiah’s bride.
Mikvah
Brides in ancient Israel as well as brides in Israel today experience a mikvah prior to their wedding. The word mikvah means a pool of living water used for ritual purification. Jewish brides to this day continue to go to the mikvah for a tevilah or ritual immersion in water as part of their physical and spiritual preparation for the wedding ceremony. This ancient Jewish custom represents a separation from an old
life to a new life – from life as a single woman to life as a married woman. It also symbolizes a change
in status and authority; a woman comes out from under the authority of her father to the authority of her husband.
In Matthew chapter 3, people from Jerusalem, all Judea, and the surrounding region came to John
for immersion (tevilah) by him in the Jordan, confessing their sins. They were coming under the authority of John’s teaching as they did this. But John, upon seeing Yeshua coming toward Him, pointed out to the people that they should come under His authority because He was “The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world” (John 1:29). John was the “friend of the bridegroom” (John 3:27-29). Yeshua was the Bridegroom. John wanted the bride to know to whom she should rightfully submit.
Immersion in the mikvah in traditional Jewish understanding is a religious ceremony imbued with profound spiritual symbolism. God is praised as the One who purifies His people, the One who sanctifies them through His commandments and has commanded them regarding immersion. In commenting on the mikvah, Rabbi Akiva, a famous first century rabbi, said: “May you be praised, O Israel: Before whom are you purifying yourselves? Who purifies you? Your Father in Heaven... Just as the mikvah purifies the impure, so does the Holy One, Blessed be He, purify Israel.”
Should the bride of Messiah go to the waters of the mikvah? Absolutely! Water immersion is the
New Covenant equivalent of the mikvah. The Bible says in Mark 16:16: “He who believes and is baptized (immersed, goes to the mikvah) will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.” When we as believers are immersed in water we reckon our old selves dead to sin, no longer under the authority of the evil one. We are alive to God, submitted to a new master: Yeshua, our Bridegroom/King. We have been cleansed by His blood, and a new beginning is ours as a part of the bride of Messiah. Yeshua experienced immersion in the Jordan as recorded in Matthew 3:16. As He entered the waters of the mikvah the Spirit of God descended on him like a dove. As we follow Yeshua in the mikvah, the Spirit of God does something new in us as well!
It is always a thrill to accompany pilgrims on our Israel tours as we conduct a mikvah service at the Jordan River. One of the young women on our 1996 Bridal Tour asked God to send two doves when she was immersed in the Jordan River. As she prepared to enter the waters of the mikvah, an entire flock of doves flew overhead. Tears streamed down her face as she realized the abundance of blessings that God desires to shower upon His bride P.S. When Jewish believers go to the mikvah, they do not become gentiles. Gentiles, on the other hand, do become spiritual Jews! The Jewish believers are coming under the authority of a Jewish Messiah. Non- Jews are actually making a public statement that they have become children of Abraham by faith in Yeshua. Both have experienced a circumcision of the heart. In a very real sense, the non-Jew has “converted” and the Jew has been “completed.” See Romans 2:28-29, Romans 11:13-18, and Ephesians 2:11-13.
Departure of the Bridegroom
Once the marriage covenant was sealed, the bridegroom in ancient Israel left his beloved to go to his father’s house to prepare a wedding chamber, chadar, for her. He would be gone for up to twelve months. During this time, his wife-to-be would prepare herself to leave her parents’ home to live with her husband’s family and become part of their household. This reminds me of Psalm 45:10-11: “Hearken, O daughter, and consider and incline thine ear, forget also thine own people, and thy father’s house; so shall the king greatly desire thy beauty...“
When Yeshua spoke to his disciples before He left earth to return to His Father’s house, He used a bridal metaphor with which all of them were intimately acquainted. We read His words in John 14:2-3: “In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.”
Yeshua, our Heavenly Bridegroom, left His bride to go prepare a wedding chamber for her. He promised to return for her. Although that was nearly 2,000 years ago, His promise is still good and
His return is near. We live in the day when Israel has been reborn as a nation, when Hebrew has been resurrected as a language, when God has brought His people back to Israel from the four corners of the earth, when Jerusalem has become the stone of stumbling prophesied by Zechariah and others. These and many other prophetic signs say to us today: “Behold, the Bridegroom cometh!”
While we await His return, Yeshua’s bride should be faithful and spiritually alert. This is the hour to pray and fast. An interesting verse about fasting is found in Matthew 9:15. Consider these words as an exhortation to the bride of Messiah: “And Yeshua said to them (the Pharisees), ‘Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast’.” Prayer and fasting . . . a major part of the preparation of Messiah’s bride while she awaits His return.
Although Yeshua is away, preparing a place for us, we are not entirely alone, for His servant the Ruach HaKodesh is with us. This is a source of great comfort to Messiah’s bride. The presence of God’s Spirit keeps our Bridegroom with us, even though He is no longer here on earth. The following words of Yeshua spoken just prior to His departure gladden the heart of His bride: “It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you... Our Bridegroom has departed, but through His Spirit He is with us continually. We should be ever grateful for this gift.
“I go to prepare a place for you.” John 14:2
The Consecrated Bride
The Jewish bride (kallah in Hebrew) was set apart, consecrated, separated unto her bridegroom while he was away preparing her wedding chamber. A verse in the Song of Songs (4:12) refers to the bride’s state: “A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.” Kallah literally means the secluded, or enclosed one. The bride belonged to her beloved, the one who had purchased her, and was to have eyes for none other. In fact, she was to have what the Bible calls “doves’ eyes” (Song of Songs 1:15). What do doves’ eyes symbolize? Faithfulness, singleness of vision (doves have no peripheral vision), gentleness, and loving commitment (doves mate for life). And of course, doves are a symbol of the Ruach HaKodesh. In the case of Messiah’s bride, the Bridegroom longs to see the reflection of His Spirit in His bride’s eyes. As I mentioned before, the Hebrew word for one who is betrothed, faithfully awaiting her beloved, is m’kudeshet. This is what we are today in Yeshua.
It was probably easy for a bride in ancient Israel to keep her bridegroom foremost in her heart and mind during the first few months after his departure. After all, she had the gifts he had given her to look at each day. Perhaps he sent letters to her also. But after a while, when his return was delayed, the temptation at the marketplace to look at another handsome man might have been a reality with which she had to struggle. Would her bridegroom keep his promise and return for her? Why hadn’t he come yet? Could he be trusted? These thoughts and others might have been entertained by the bride in ancient Israel. There were undoubtedly scoffers at that time just as the Bible says there will be in our day, who question the integrity and faithfulness of our Bridegroom. 2 Peter 3:3 tells us about them: “Knowing this first: that scoffers will come in the last days, walking according to their own lusts, and saying, ‘Where is the promise of His coming?...‘ “ Though He tarry, we have every confidence that our Bridegroom is coming back for us. We are His consecrated bride, awaiting His return.
The same Spirit that sought the bride of Messiah consecrates and helps to prepare her. A type of the Holy Spirit is seen in the book of Esther, giving us a glimpse of how a bride is prepared. Haggai, the king’s servant, prepared Esther for her union with the king by prescribing six months of oil of myrrh (for purification) and six months of sweet oils (for beautification) (Esther 2:12). Esther did not choose what she would wear, nor how she would prepare herself for the king. She left it up to Haggai and followed his advice. Esther, hadassah in Hebrew, means “I will be hidden.” Messiah’s bride, today, is hidden in Him, (Colossians 3:3) hidden in the cleft of the Rock, (Songs 2:14) and submitted to the working of the Holy Spirit in her life. He shows the bride how to live for the Bridegroom, not for herself (2 Cor. 5:15). He is intimately involved in her preparation.
To be “consecrated” is to be “holy.” Holiness comes through yielding to the Holy Spirit in our lives. The consecrated bride of Messiah is God’s treasured possession, His witness, His servant, His worshipper, even His army. She is strong in the Lord and in the power of His might, and does battle with the enemy of her soul. Her consecration is a source of strength and anointing. Yeshua delights in our separation to Him. We may be in the world, but we are not of the world. We belong to our Heavenly Bridegroom.
One of the symbols of a bride’s consecration was a crown. Brides wore either a crown of flowers (the “garden enclosed” mentioned earlier) or a golden “Jerusalem of Gold” bridal crown (which I wore on our 25th Anniversary). Many years ago, a woman in Chicago saw me wearing a floral crown on a Jewish Jewels television program and wrote the following note to me and Neil:
“This evening when I saw the bride dressed with leaves and flowers in her hair, I almost fainted. Not so long ago I had a dream and in it I was dressed in bridal clothes with this kind of headdress. I wore a long white gown and carried calla lillies in my arms. I was crying because I knew I was not worthy of the one I was going to meet. Then I looked down and I was walking on white satin and so also were people in front of me and all around me, all dressed the same way. You see, I was beautiful, young, straight and slim. I am 77 years old, bent, but loving my Savior.” Evelyn J.
God gave this precious lady a vision of His consecrated bride. I also had a vision of His bride, but a different kind of vision. In 1980, I had a vision of a dead bride in a casket, and the Lord spoke to me to lay hands on this bride. She represented two groups of people, as I later came to understand: Yeshua’s bride and Israel, God’s wife. The first was asleep, the second, dead (in trespasses and sins), but they both looked the same. Could Messiah’s bride be asleep as the hour of His coming draws near? We find the answer to this question in the Parable of the Ten Virgins in Matthew chapter 25. The Bible tells us that both the wise and foolish virgins were sleeping while the bridegroom delayed. Even those of us who love the Lord with all our hearts and serve Him full-time in the ministry are not walking in the power, anointing, or blessing that God has for us. Some part of us is asleep. When we get to our Bridegroom’s home in Heaven, we will see how much power was available to us here on earth that we didn’t use.
May we heed the words of the pastors and teachers that God sends to help prepare the bride of Mes- siah (Ephesians 4:11-13). May we decide today to listen to the counsel of the Holy Spirit who knows the heart of our Bridegroom as no one else does. With His help, we will be a bride without spot and wrinkle, a holy bride who is looking to Yeshua, the Author and Finisher of our faith, and anxiously awaiting His return.
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