Do you ever feel like, God gives you another and new chances every single day? Well, I had a chance to REALLY PAY my VOWS to God. Many may not know this about me, but I had a purity ring at 12 and messed that up, and it has been my biggest regret in life because I could have NOT gone through all this heartache and gotten hung up on UNGODLY people, who DID NOT CARE about my soul, but just cared to get into my pants.
I get asked all the time if there were any red flags prior to my marriage and I must admit YES, and I ignored them because I didn't want them to be red flags, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt believing that God could save him.. but it goes way deeper than just the surface. I had to seriously look at this situation with discernment from the Holy Spirit.
Now, I share this because we overcome by the word of our testimony, and I KNOW that someone ELSE out there is STUCK in an ungodly and unequally yolked marriage... and let me be the first to say that God does NOT want people to compromise when it comes to values and especially marriage. It is a covenant, first with the LORD Jesus, and then with your spouse. Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled Hebrews 13:4. Now, what happened to me was that Jesus Christ HIMSELF quickened my mortal flesh. 9/27/2020 I was born again by the word of God. I had never read all of the Bible, and wanted to before I turned 28... I had only cherry picked verses and this is also how I know personally my sanctification would be to ABSTAIN from sexual immorality. I was literally dead twice, and went from unbelieving to believing ALL OF A SUDDEN, as if my very soul depended on it because IT DID.
So, I recommitted my life to Christ and began to study and read the Bible every single day, and still do. I fail daily, but am covered completely by the blood of Jesus now. This never gives us license to sin, and I have never thought that. In fact, the FEAR of the LORD (yirat Adonai) is something so dear to me, because I greatly fear the LORD and have experienced HIS POWER in my life!!! It is something I CANNOT deny. The Holy Spirit got ahold of me, and I received with much affliction the word of God.
So then, everything I knew was wrong, and my whole life changed. I started looking and observing what he was doing and what the Bible said and it was two different story lines going on at once. Talk about insanity. I'm trying to do the right thing, be the perfect house wife and all the things, while dealing with a degenerate who refused to look at abuse as sin, and his condition truly as sin, therefore there could be no cure unless he turned to Christ truly. I believe he truly hated me because it turned out my works to be wrought in God, and it became a swift witness against him, which God hardened his heart even more in order for me to be able to leave and come back to my parents house, safely.
So since I knew I couldn't "save" anyone, I stayed focused on Christ and what I could do, and left the rest up to Jesus. I felt in my heart, that this was more or less THE BATTLE OF GOOD AND EVIL in my own home. What if he gets the mark of the beast? How could I asssociate with ANYONE like that? There's no way. What if it comes down to me vs him? These thoughts alone, accompanied with sharp sword sounds one night and nightmares of snakes I had to get out. It was my Judas. And maybe we all have to learn how to love one of those. But he was in flat out denial over the vaccines, ran to get them... I mean, I was watching all of this happen in front of me and was dumbfounded.
It's really simple. I had to make the decision for myself and because of the gospel. I forsook everything I knew; comfortable living styles on a beer budget and an ungodly, unequally yolked marriage. It was very hard to accept the fact that, after much working out my own salvation with much trembling, I had married out of lust and I just wanted God to take it back. It was a very, very, very, very bad decision. And no, he never changed and got worse and worse just like the Bible says.
Matthew 10:36, explains the foes of a man's household, and I have lived through this twice.
Mark 10:29 "And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's, (30) but he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life."
That is why I left my friends, for the sake of the gospel. Because the WORD OF GOD is mightier than any man, and Jesus Christ is my SAVIOR Whom I trust with all of my heart, soul, and mind. IT has been through much affliction, and my own disobedience, that I have learned obedience through suffering as it is written.
If you are in an unequally yolked marriage, the Bible tells us to stay in whatever situation we have been called in because you as a believing husband or wife may be able to save that person because of your faith. Your whole HOUSEHOLD can be saved because of your faith in and of Jesus Christ! Believe that. That is why marriage is a daily sacrifice; you are putting the other person's needs constantly above your own. But sometimes, it isn't God's will. If it comes with confusion, dissonance, not peace... this is not from God! If the person is literally doing everything OPPOSITE of what the Bible teaches, this person hath not the Spirit of God!!!! Period! I had to look at things black and white once I was born again.
SO MANY WOMEN stay in abusive marriages because they ONLY BELIEVE that divorce is a sin and wrong! Well, let me be the first to tell you that never stopped anyone from sinning before and it won't now either. It is an absolute excuse to stay stuck. Because starting over is HARD. Being by yourself after marriage, IS HARD. People don't want to put the work in! There could be so much abuse the wife literally cannot leave safely... I've had many chances to walk out as I did, but it didn't stick until this last time and I finally got the divorce finalized.
Yes, God hates divorce. But He hates it more when a believer stays in an unequally yolked marriage, knowingly, and the other isn't going to change or believe. We have called to be at peace.
We aren't supposed to make friends with an angry man, and the wrath of man produces not the righteousness of God. So if this is true and it is, I had a decision to make. 7 years of no change is a lot of time invested, and a lot of heartbreak and chances to be killed by someone who has zero self control.
1 Corinthians 7:15 is the main reason why I left. Because as a believer, I don't want the word of God to be blasphemied because of the man who is SUPPOSED to lead me, guide me, all the things. Now you see the ever pressing need to steadily rely on the LORD for HIS provision. With God, all things are possible. With man, nothing is possible.
Paul explains to us, that if the husband DEPART- this means he refuses to lead, guide, be a husband, support your very basic needs as a human being, he has by definition DEPARTED from the marriage and has given his rights over to Satan. He is worse than an unbeliever because he provides NOT for his own household. And my views now are very straightforward and going through this was very hard and very sad... but Jesus Himself gave me the love in my heart I never had and always chased without even realizing it.
Still HIS work in progress... but every day is a new day to rest in HIS grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love. I fell in love with Jesus Christ, and fell OUT OF LOVE with this world. I pray you do too!!
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment