Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. (Philippians 2:14-18)
Why should Christians do everything without complaining or arguing?
Paul in the previous text called for the Philippian church to “work out their salvation with fear and trembling” (v.12). Here he calls for them to continue the work of conforming to the image of Christ through doing everything without complaining and arguing (cf. Phil 2:6-11). This was especially important because situations in the church were threatening to stagnate or even destroy their spiritual life. They were experiencing persecution for the faith (1:28). False teachers were present in the church (3:2), and there was a division between two women in the congregation (4:2). Many threats to the spiritual growth of this congregation existed, and he calls for them to work out their salvation to completion by not “complaining or arguing” (v. 14).
This is very important for us to hear. We live in a world and society that is prone to complaining. In companies, the employees complain about their bosses and one another. In homes, husbands complain about their wives. Wives complain about their husbands. Children complain about their siblings and their parents. In churches, the members of the congregation complain about one another and the pastor. The pastor complains about the congregants. We live in a world full of complaining and arguing.
This tendency began at the Fall. Before sin entered the world, Adam and Eve never complained about anything. They didn’t complain about God putting a tree in the garden that they were forbidden to eat. They didn’t complain about not having any clothes on. Nor did they complain about the command to only eat vegetables. One of Satan’s first temptations was to get Adam and Eve discontent with God’s plan for them. He says, “Is it true that you cannot eat of every tree in the garden?” He tries to make God’s plan for them feel restrictive and domineering. He then tries to make them feel that God is trying to keep them from the best. He said, “God knows that when you eat of this tree you will be like God.” Satan’s overall temptation was to get them to not trust God and to become discontent with what they already had.
Isn’t that the state of the world today? We are discontent about everything. We are discontent about our job, our home, our TV, our phone, our family, our church, etc. For some people it is hard to find anything that they are content with. In fact, right when Adam sinned we see the tendency of man’s new sin nature to complain. He says to God, “The woman you gave me, gave me the food and I did eat.” When God asked him if he had eaten from the Tree of the Knowledge, he didn’t respond with, “Yes.” He responded by blaming God and the woman for his failure. The woman then blamed the serpent.
What we now see in the world is a tendency to complain. As a veteran of the U.S. military, I can say that the military is probably the place where I have experienced the most complaining. While I was on active duty and now as a reservist, it seems to be part of the culture. We all complained about the military, and this complaining bonded us together. We had a common animosity. I would say the church is at times not too far behind the military. We complain about the worship, the sermon, the seating, the lighting, the offering, the leadership, the members, and anything else we can complain about. Paul realized this tendency was in the Philippians, and Christians overall, and therefore, he challenged them to do “everything without complaining and arguing.” He didn’t say “some things” but “everything.”
Is this realistic? Why should we do “everything” without complaining? In this text Paul teaches us why we should do everything without complaining. His hope was to motivate Christians to live in a manner that would properly reflect our relationship both to God and the world.
Big Question: Why should Christians do “everything without complaining or arguing” according to Philippians 2:14-18?
Christians Should Not Complain and Argue in Order to Obey God
Do everything without complaining or arguing (Philippians 2:14)
Again, Paul says that Christians should do everything without complaining and arguing. “Complaining” can also be translated “grumbling.” “‘Grumbling’ (goggusmon) is an onomatopoeic word that sounds like what it means similar to words such as: buzz, boom, meow, or murmur.”1 It “describes the low, threatening, discontented muttering of a mob who distrust their leaders and are on the verge of an uprising.”2 It is a verbal expression of one’s dissatisfaction with circumstances.
The word “arguing” in the Greek is the word “dialogismos” which is where we get the English word “dialogue”.3 It describes both one’s inner reasoning as we argue in our minds and one’s outer reasoning with our mouths. When we are discontent, we argue both in our minds and with our mouths—with ourselves, other people, and with God. Paul says this is one of the things we must get rid of as we work out our salvation.
The classic story on complaining and arguing is seen in Israel’s wilderness wanderings. When God delivered them from slavery in Egypt and they went into the wilderness, they complained about a lack of water (Ex 15) and a lack of food (Ex 16). In Numbers 11 they complained about their trials in the wilderness, and how they wanted meat. And throughout their time in the wilderness, they complained against Moses and God. Because of their complaining, God judged them and many died. Paul said this about Israel’s experience in 1 Corinthians 10:9-11:
We should not test the Lord, as some of them did—and were killed by snakes. And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel. These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come.
Paul said God killed them because of their grumbling through a destroying angel. In Numbers 11 God brought a fire and a severe plague in the camp that wiped out many of them. I don’t think many of us have truly meditated on Israel’s wilderness experiences. Think about this, they wandered in the wilderness without water for three days, and when they found some, it was bitter (Ex 15:22-23). For us, we are accustomed to having a drink anytime we want, just as the Israelites were in Egypt. It would be very hard for us to not complain when lacking fluids. Then God gave them manna from heaven for food, but the problem was that was all they ate for days at a time. What if they didn’t like the taste or the texture of it? Wouldn’t it be normal to complain and even acceptable? Plus, even if they liked the taste or the texture, they still ate the same food every day. Who wouldn’t complain? “Come on, God, isn’t your anger and punishment a little unreasonable—to kill them? Father, that just seems like a little too much.” And, also let us consider the fact that they wanted some meat (Num 11:4). I complain all the time while living here in Korea because many meals have no meat or very little meat. To me a meal without meat is not a meal. It is a snack. I want a meal. I figure that if I was in the wilderness with them, I would have complained alongside them.
One of the things we learn from Israel’s wilderness wanderings is that complaining is incompatible with our salvation. They were saved from slavery in Egypt and God deemed it unreasonable for them to complain after such a large display of grace. However, we have received much more grace. We have been delivered from slavery to sin, the world, and the devil. We have been given eternal life and the status of children of God. How much more is our complaining a sin in the sight of God? Therefore, God calls us to work out the completion of our salvation without complaining and arguing.
We must understand that complaining is not a little sin; it is a big sin. The writer of Hebrews said this about bitterness, which again was possibly an allusion to the wilderness wanderings of Israel: “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15). Bitterness and complaining is contagious. Not only does it blind us to all the ways God has graced us, but it also spreads to others. It spreads throughout a family, an organization, and a church—limiting and sometimes destroying spiritual growth.
Let us remember the time Israel was at the border of the promised land, and how they sent ten spies to survey the land. Two of them came back with a positive report of God’s faithfulness and how good the land was; while eight of them complained about the giants and the impossibility of taking the land. They then complained about God and Moses and convinced the Israelites not to go into the land (Numbers 13-14). “This task is too great!” they said. This root of bitterness coming from only eight Israelites defiled the whole nation and led to God’s judgment. The Israelites were judged by God and called to wander in the wilderness for forty years while everybody over twenty died for their rebellion.
Many people in the church are in a wandering experience in their spiritual life. They are not progressing; they are not going anywhere. And the reason is because there is a bitter root destroying their harvest and inviting the chastisement of God on their lives. It also might be bringing God’s chastisement on others’ lives as well. Maybe this bitterness is an anger against somebody that harmed them. Maybe it’s simply discontentment with their circumstances or lack of trust in God’s goodness. Whatever it may be, it must be known that this complaining spirit is a very dangerous sin that brings God’s discipline.
Personally, the gravity of this makes me very strict as a parent. My baby daughter is at an age where she likes to throw tantrums and fall on the ground when she doesn’t get her way or simply because she doesn’t like her circumstances. Because of God’s anger about this in Scripture, this is very serious to me. Some parents think tantrums are cute, but it is a very dangerous sin that if not remedied will carry on into adulthood and invite the chastening of God. By training my daughter, I realize that this could save her life—the Israelites died because of their complaining spirit. If I allow her to continue this practice, she will not only complain about us—her parents—she will complain about her teachers, her boss, her husband, and ultimately God, potentially leading to severe discipline.
Some Christians, because of a tendency to complain, are constantly under God’s discipline. God, like a loving parent, is seeking to turn them away from their petty tantrums and their distrust of him. Complaining is like telling God he doesn’t know what’s best and that he doesn’t care. It is an affront to God. Therefore, Christians must forsake complaining and arguing because it is forbidden by God.
Interpretation Question: How can we get rid of this complaining disposition?
1. We get rid of a complaining disposition by learning to trust God more.
Solomon said this: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Prov 3:5). The reason we complain and argue essentially is because we don’t trust God with our circumstances. We don’t trust that he is working all things out for our good (Rom 8:28). Some of us like Adam and Eve doubt God’s essential nature—his goodness (Psalm 135:3). The Lord is good and everything that is good comes from him (James 1:17). He is how we define good, and therefore, to complain is to challenge his nature—his goodness. When we trust that we have an all wise God working all things out for our good, then this trust will deliver us from complaining—complaining about God and others.
2. We get rid of a complaining disposition by acknowledging God’s sovereignty in all situations.
Ephesians 1:11 says God works “all things” according to the counsel of his will. Scripture teaches that God is in control of everything. Proverbs 21:1says, “The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.” God controls the heart of man like a person moving around water in his hand. He is sovereign.
We should recognize that the sovereignty of God is a difficult and controversial doctrine and for that reason many don’t like it. However, let it be known that this doctrine is crucial for us to “do everything without complaining and arguing,” and therefore, it is an essential doctrine for our holiness. It is also an essential doctrine for prayer. If God isn’t in control of everything, why pray? It is the backbone of a deep prayer life. If we don’t see God is in control of everything, then we will not pray as we ought.
In order to not complain we must not only trust in God’s goodness but also acknowledge God’s sovereignty. Only a person who is fully trustworthy and good is worthy to be sovereign over the affairs of all things. I may not understand why tragedies happen in the world, but I can have peace because my God is all together good, trustworthy, and sovereign over all situations.
3. We get rid of a complaining disposition by learning contentment with God’s provisions.
First Timothy 6:6-8 says, “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”
He says if we have food and clothing we should be content. The word “clothing” just means covering so it could refer to clothes and shelter. We live in a society that teaches us to not be content. Every commercial says, “You need this!” “You need that!” Therefore, we live in a society not content with anything. We get a new phone that we are all excited about until the newer version comes out. Then we are back to being discontent. This society works off discontentment.
One of the disciplines we must develop is to be content with whatever God has provided even if it is only basic food and covering. This is a discipline Paul challenges Christians to grow in (1 Tim 6:6-8). This is exactly what God promises to provide us with in Scripture. He promises to meet our needs—to give us our daily bread. He doesn’t promise riches, wealth, and health on this earth in contrast with the “prosperity gospel.” Christ told his disciples that God would meet their needs for clothing and food as they sought first the kingdom of heaven (Matt 6:33). We see Paul himself had learned this reality in Philippians 4:11-13. He said he had learned to be content in every circumstance whether in prosperity or lack because of God’s strength working in him.
How do we learn contentment? We learn it by finding our fullness and satisfaction in God. We should ask ourselves these questions, “Is God really enough? Is he really all I need? Will I be satisfied with just him? Do I really need all the clothes, the shoes, the entertainment, the electronics, etc.? Can I be content with just him?” The writers of Hebrews says this: “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).
How can we be free from the love of things which is a common cause of discontentment? We can be free by believing God will never leave us nor forsake us. We can be content with what we have because we have God. Christians should be radically different than the rest of the world because they already have everything. They have everything in their relationship with God.
When you are not content with God and his provisions, it is then that you will be tempted to fall into all types of sin including complaining and arguing. Like Adam and Eve, you will spend your time looking at the one thing you don’t have or don’t like instead of the many blessings given to you by God. Trusting God, acknowledging his sovereignty in all things, and practicing contentment will help us to not complain and grumble.
Application Question: What are some areas that you are often tempted to argue and complain about? How would you rate yourself 1-10 on complaining and arguing?
Christians Should Not Complain and Argue in Order to Grow in Godliness
…so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault (Philippians 2:15a)
Paul gives further reasons for us to not argue and complain. In the next phrase, he gives the purpose clause “so that.” Paul says do not argue and complain “so that” or “in order that” you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault.
What does Paul mean by becoming children of God? We are already children of God when we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior and are born again. He simply means that we will manifest that we are children of God. What we are in position, we must become in practice. Children by nature bear the characteristics of their parents, and they are identified by these characteristics. People look at my daughter and immediately say, “She looks just like Greg.” She has many of my features. In the same way, we should both by nature and practice look like our Father in heaven. Paul said this, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children” (Eph 5:1). We, therefore, demonstrate the character of the Father when we live without complaining and arguing—we grow in godliness.
Observation Question: How do children of God grow in godliness according to Philippians 2:15?
Paul seems to be giving descriptors of children of God who are growing in godliness by not complaining and arguing. We will look at the descriptors Paul gives.
1, Christians grow in godliness by becoming blameless.
The word “blameless” does not mean perfection, but it does mean that a person is practicing holiness. It means that no charge can be sustained against a person. It is very similar to what we saw in the life of Daniel. Daniel 6:4-5 says this:
At this, the administrators and the satraps tried to find grounds for charges against Daniel in his conduct of government affairs, but they were unable to do so. They could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent. Finally these men said, “We will never find any basis for charges against this man Daniel unless it has something to do with the law of his God.”
While in Babylon, Daniel demonstrated that he was a child of God. The administrators had nothing to accuse him of other than his faith in God—the character of his Father. It should be the same with us.
We see this blamelessness in Paul as well. He said he would not eat meat nor drink wine if it caused another to stumble (Rom 14:21). He was willing to give up even things that were not sin in order to not cause others to stumble. This is a blameless life—a person seeking to live above accusation not only with sinful things but even with things that are his or her right.
Again, this has particular reference to not complaining and arguing. A person who is a complainer or an arguer will often be worthy of blame or accusation. They cause conflict and division and promote murmuring. This should not be the character of a child of God.
2. Christians grow in godliness by developing purity.
The word “pure” means unmixed. “The term was used to describe pure wine that was unmixed with water and pure metal that was not alloyed. The believer’s life is to be absolutely pure, unmixed with sin and evil.”4 Paul said in Romans 16:9, “I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent [pure] about what is evil.” Not only must we seek to be free of wrongful actions but we must seek to have right hearts before God. We must keep them from becoming mixed. Jesus said this in Matthew 15:18-19:
But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’ For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
God always looks at the heart, and therefore, we must practice being pure in our hearts and our minds. Again, this especially has reference to doing all things without complaining and arguing. Some of us may not complain outwardly, but we are bitter inwardly. God is always looking at the heart to see if it is pure—unmixed with sin and evil.
3. Christians grow in godliness by being without fault.
“Without fault” can be translated “without blemish, spot or defect.” “This is a word that is taken from the Old Testament sacrifices made to God.”5The concept behind this is that the believer is to live and walk as a sacrifice to God by keeping himself from divisive behavior such as complaining and arguing. Romans 12:1 similarly teaches that believers must seek to live as acceptable sacrifices to God. It says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.” James 1:27 says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
The implication that Paul gives is that complaining and arguing is a practice that blemishes our offerings before God and makes them unacceptable. In describing public worship in 1 Timothy 2:8, he said that he desired “men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.” When men led the congregation in prayer, it had to be done “without anger and disputing.” Anger and disputing would corrupt the offering. Jesus said this in Matthew 5:23-24:
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
If you have an offering to give God (prayer, worship, tithe, etc.) but you realize somebody has something against you, Jesus said first go make that right. Again, the implication is that the offering will not be accepted by God if we are living in discord with others. In order to grow in godliness, we must make sure our offerings are without blemish by being free of complaining and arguing. We must seek to be acceptable to the Lord in all we give him, and by doing this, we manifest ourselves as children of God—we grow in godliness.
Christians must seek to be without blame—having no fault in them that others can point to. They must seek to be pure in their motives and actions. Finally, they must seek to be without fault and blemish as acceptable sacrifices to God. And, all these things are done so that they can grow spiritually—manifesting themselves as “children of God.” Complaining and arguing hinders spiritual growth.
Application Question: In what ways is God calling you specifically to grow in godliness by being blameless, pure, and without fault? What practical steps is he calling you to take?
Christians Should Not Complain and Argue in Order to Be Witnesses to Unbelievers
without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life (Philippians 2:15b-16)
The next reason Paul gives for not complaining and arguing is our witness to unbelievers. He pictures the world as a dark place and believers as stars in the universe. The word “crooked” is an interesting word in the Greek. John MacArthur said this about the word:
Crooked is from skolios, referring to what is bent, curved, or twisted. The medical condition scoliosis involves an abnormal curvature and misalignment of the spine. The term was used metaphorically of anything that deviates from a standard or norm, and in Scripture, it is often used of things that are morally or spiritually corrupt.
This world is twisted—it deviates away from God’s original plan. Paul also says the world is “depraved” meaning “corrupt and wicked.” This world is a dark place primarily because they refuse to acknowledge God. Romans 1:28 says this:
Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity.
The world is a dark place filled with every kind of evil because they choose to not acknowledge God. This leads them not only into complaining but into all kinds of perverse sin: idolatry, sexual immorality, homosexuality, disobedience to authorities, murder, and the approval of all these things (cf. Romans 1:28-32).
However, because believers have a relationship with God, they should shine as stars. The word “stars” can also be translated “lights” as in the ESV. We don’t shine because we are light in ourselves, but because we reflect the light of God. In practice, we are more like the moon than stars, as it radiates the sun’s light off its surface. Throughout history people have always recognized that there was something special about the moon. On its own it is just a big pile of rock and dust, but when it is in just the right spot, the sun shines on it and the moon radiates. All of a sudden in the radiance of the moon, people stand in awe, take pictures to remember the moment, and some even fall in love. In one sense, the moon is no different than us. There is nothing special about us on our own. We are just a big ball of dust, but in the light of Christ, magical things happen—people’s lives are changed, people find strength and encouragement, and people are led to Christ. That is the type of light Christians are to manifest in this crooked and depraved world. They should manifest the light of Christ as they dwell daily in his presence (John 15:5).
As long as we are dwelling in the light of God, we reflect his light and his glory. Paul implies three particular ways that we are lights: (1) by not complaining and arguing (2) by growing in godliness—being blameless, pure, and without fault as previously discussed, (3) and by holding out the word of life. “Holding out the word of life” is probably better translated “holding forth” the word of life which seems to refer to evangelism—the preaching of the gospel. However, the primary way we shine as lights to the world in the context is by not complaining and arguing which leads to all the other characteristics.
As Christians live a lifestyle of light, they draw people to Christ. People should look at believers and see a stark difference. This light will either push them away or draw them closer so they can learn about Christ—the reason for this light (cf. John 3:19-21). Again, the primary way we live as lights is by not complaining. When we practice complaining and arguing, we look more like a child of this world.
Scripture actually describes the world as not being “thankful.” Paul said this in Romans 1:21: “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.” Paul describes the world as those who knew God but refused to glorify or give thanks to him. By denying the knowledge of God, the world has become a thankless place. They refuse to acknowledge the Giver of all good gifts, and therefore, their hearts become dark.
When Christians are in a work place, a family, or a ministry and they choose to be thankful instead of complainers, they demonstrate that they are children of God and lights in the world. They stand out. Their lifestyle becomes a witness to the world and therefore draws others to Christ.
However, it should be heard that when Christians choose to complain and be thankless like the world, they dim the light of the gospel. They instead look just like the world which is characterized by not glorifying and giving thanks to God.
While Job was suffering and he declared, “The Lord giveth and he taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord,” he shined like a star in the world (Job 1:21). It pointed those watching him toward faith in God. When Paul was in prison singing worship songs to the Lord in Acts 16, he shined like a star in that prison, and when the jailor accepted Christ, no doubt Paul’s unique, joyful disposition was part of the reason (Acts 16:25-31).
Does how you respond to uncomfortable situations draw people to Christ or does it push people away? Christ said we either gather or scatter (Matt 12:30). There is no in between. One of the reasons we must choose to not complain and argue is for the world—so that they may know Christ.
Application Question: Is unthankfulness a valid descriptor of the world? Why should thankfulness characterize believers?
Christians Should Not Complain and Argue in Order to Honor Our Leaders
in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing (Philippians 2:16)
Surprisingly, the next reason Paul gives for not complaining and arguing is in order to honor the apostle and his ministry to them. He says “in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.” The day of Christ means the second coming of Christ and specifically the day that Christ will reward believers for their works (2 Cor 5:10). It is a picture of Paul’s future happiness at his disciples’ faithfully following Christ. We see him reiterate the prospect of this future joy both to the Philippians and also to the Thessalonians. Look at what he says:
Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends! (Philippians 4:1)
For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? (1 Thessalonians 2:19)
The word Paul uses for “crown” in both of these texts is not a royal crown for ruling but a wreath given to the winner of an athletic contest. Paul says essentially that his “victory” on the day of Christ—his greatest “reward”—will be seeing that his disciples were faithful. Paul asked them to give him that joy as they worked out their salvation without complaining and arguing.
To some this may seem selfish, but Scripture teaches that those who teach us, especially our elders, will one day give an account for us before God. It also teaches that we should obey them so their work will be a joy and not a pain. The writer of Hebrews says this:
Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you. (Hebrews 13:17)
In this text, the writer’s primary incentive given for the Hebrew believers’ obedience was their leader’s “joy.” For many pastors and leaders their work is not a joy, in part, because of the constant complaining and arguing of the members of the congregation. The nation of Israel constantly pointed their finger at Moses and complained about his leadership. Even his own family complained against him. Moses became so burdened by the people’s complaints one time, he simply asked God to let him die. Consider what he said:
Moses heard the people of every family wailing, each at the entrance to his tent. The LORD became exceedingly angry, and Moses was troubled. He asked the LORD, “Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me? Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their forefathers? Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, ‘Give us meat to eat!’ I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin.” (Numbers 11:10-15)
The people were receiving manna from heaven, but they decided that they wanted more variety in their diet. They were tired of bread and wanted meat. Therefore, they complained against Moses and against God. Moses finally responded, “Lord, are these my children? Why do I have to care for them? Why me?” One of the reasons we shouldn’t complain is because of our leaders, not only for their joy on the day of Christ but for their joy now.
Scripture commands us to be considerate of our leaders and to bless them. Galatians 6:6 says, “Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor.” We should honor those who feed us and care for us even though they are not perfect. They sin and make mistakes just like everybody else. I think it is their imperfections that should make us honor them even more. They need grace. Paul implies that one of the reasons we should not complain and argue is for our pastors’ joy—so they may boast on the day of Christ.
I can relate to this both as a member of the church and now as a pastor. As member of the church, I look forward to one day meeting with my former Sunday school teachers and pastors who imparted into my life, even just to say, “Thank you.” I also want to encourage them by saying, “I was the apathetic student in your Sunday school class, but one day I got serious about God. Thank you for your labor. Thank you for your prayers.” With that, my other great joy will be those I have labored for and served as a pastor in ministry. Like Paul, I will rejoice to see how they progressed in their spiritual lives. They will be my crown of rejoicing in heaven.
Application Question: Which spiritual leaders have made the greatest impact in your life?
Christians Should Not Complain and Argue in Order to Be Joyful in Every Circumstance
But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. (Philippians 2:17-18)
Finally, the last reason Paul gives for not complaining and arguing is in order for us to have joy. Paul says “even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith.” The drink offering was the final part of an offering (Lev 23:18, 37). A person would offer a burnt sacrifice to the Lord and then pour some wine on top of the offering as a sweet smelling savor to the Lord. It was the final act of the offering. Paul here was referring to both his and the Philippians’ suffering for the Lord as a sacrifice (Phil 1:27), and he may be alluding to the possibility of his future death as the drink offering. He essentially says, “Even if this is my final offering to the Lord as I face potential death, I rejoice with you and you should rejoice as well.” He commands them to not complain and argue so that they can have joy in their mutual offering to the Lord.
This is the reality: complaining and arguing not only affects others negatively, but it also affects us. It ruins our own joy. Most Christians are up and down in their spiritual life based on the events that happen. Therefore, their joy is not constant. One cannot have joy if he is constantly complaining and arguing. Paul says that even if the worst thing happens, his potential death, the Philippians should still rejoice.
Paul will command them to rejoice three more times in the letter (Phil 3:2, 4:4). He says in Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” He wants them to have joy in spite of their suffering and in spite of the difficulties happening in the church (Phil 4:2). But in order to do that, they must stop complaining. It is the same for us, God wants us to learn to have joy even in the worst circumstances, and one of the ways we do this is by choosing not to complain and argue.
Do you realize that complaining steals our God-given joy? Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal 5:22); however, it can be lost when we choose to complain and argue. We grieve the Holy Spirit and forfeit the grace that God wants to give us. Paul said this:
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (Ephesians 4:29-30)
The implication is that we grieve the Holy Spirit when we let anything unwholesome come out of our mouths—cursing, lying, complaining, and arguing. When we grieve the Spirit, we lose the supernatural joy and peace that we should have in our circumstances. Paul says one of the reasons we must not complain or argue is so that we can have joy. Nehemiah said, “The joy of the Lord is our strength” (8:10). Therefore, to complain and argue can actually weaken and cripple us for God’s work.
Application Question: Is it really possible to have joy in every circumstance? If so, how do we develop this? Does being joyful mean never mourning or being sad?
Conclusion
Arguing and complaining is a characteristic of the world. We live in a world that has rejected God and therefore abides in a state of unthankfulness. Many homes and work environments have a culture of grumbling and complaining. However, for Christians this should not be true. God has called us not only to not complain and argue but to be thankful. First Thessalonians 5:18 says, “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” God’s will is for us to be thankful in every situation.
Why should Christians do “everything” without grumbling and complaining?
- Christians Should Not Complain and Argue in Order to Obey God
- Christians Should Not Complain and Argue in Order to Grow in Godliness
- Christians Should Not Complain and Argue in Order to Be Witnesses to Unbelievers
- Christians Should Not Complain and Argue in Order to Honor Our Leaders
- Christians Should Not Complain and Argue in Order to Be Joyful in Every Circumstance
Death
Proverbs 18:21 says, Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose. Proverbs 12:18 tells us,“the words of the wise bring healing.” What comes out of our mouths is also very telling. That is why you can learn a lot about a person by the words they use. Luke 6:45 tells us, “What you say flows from what is in your heart.” One translation says, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. The words a person uses will tell us a lot about what is inside of that person.
What’s Going On Inside
New research indicates there’s a biological reason why women talk so much more than men. According to one study, 20,000 words a day spoken by the average woman versus about 7,000 words a day for the average man. Women’s brains have higher levels of a “language protein” called FOXP2, according to a study conducted by researchers at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. This means that we are given somewhere between 7,000 to 20,000 opportunities to know what is going on inside of a person.
Proverbs 8:13 tells us, “The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.” Our speech will show how much we fear the Lord. Consider the life of Joseph, who had been given dreams from the Lord. His brothers became jealous, which showed their lack of the fear of the Lord. Joseph is eventually sold into Potiphar’s house where he served for ten years. Imagine how each day his dream from God must have appeared further and further away. Joseph was isolated and alone in a pagan land far from all he had known and loved. He had no fellowship with believers and no brother to confide in. He was lonely, but did not yield to Potiphar’s wife. If he had lost his godly fear and become offended at God, he would have lacked the strength to withstand temptation.
Listen to what the Joseph says, “How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:9). Joseph had such a fear of God that showed up in a very tempting moment. Instead of being rewarded, Joseph’s obedience landed him in Pharaoh’s dungeon. Many would fall prey to the death grip of bitterness in his position. Joseph remained in prison two years and yet, we still have no evidence of his complaining or becoming embittered with the Lord. Even in the darkness of the prison, he continues to fear God.
Drifting Into Disobedience
Josephs descendants were very different. They obeyed when their desires were met and when God manifested His mighty power on their behalf. Whenever they were discouraged or felt abandoned, they quickly drifted into disobedience. One of the first symptoms of drifting from the fear of the Lord is grumbling and complaining. The Greek word translated “complainer” means literally “one who is discontented with his lot in life.” Did you hear that? We start complaining when we are discontent with our lives, what we have been given, and what we think we are entitled too.
Complaining is a Killer
Complaining will short-circuit the life of God in you. It indirectly communicates to the Lord, “I don’t like what You are doing in my life…and if I were you, I would do it differently.” Complaining is nothing more than a manifestation of insubordination against the Lord’s authority. Complaining is irreverent and shows we are not living in the fear of the Lord. Consider what Philippians 2:12–14 says, “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or disputing.” This word grumbling means, “An undertone of murmuring dissatisfaction or discontentedly complaining secretly.”
While the Lord is the only one that can handle our complaining, nowhere does he tell us to adopt a lifestyle of complaining. In fact, 1 Corinthians 10:10 tells us, “nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer.” God hates complaining. He doesn’t hate complainers, but He does hate it when we complain. One of Israel’s greatest, most consistent sins while in the wilderness was that of complaining and murmuring. In fact, it was their complaining that made an 11-day trip last 40 years. God hates complaining so much He allowed His own children to suffer death to serve as an example of the level of judgment that complaining deserves.
- Complaining Poisons our Attitude
Whatever our negative attitude, complaining just makes it more negative. Most of the time we even wear it on our expressions by looking angry and unsatisfied. Complaining is so poisonous that scientists say that it negatively affects our neural networks. The more we complain, the darker we see the world because we are just enhancing these neural pathways at the expense of others. - Complaining Infects the Attitude of Others
Complaining is contagious. When we share our negative discontent, it can have the same negative effect on someone else’s attitude, especially if they are spiritually or emotionally weak. Upon returning from spying out the promised land, Joshua and Caleb were full of faith. They said, “We should, by all means, go up and take possession of it, for we shall surely overcome it” (Numbers 13:30). But the other men who went with Joshua and Caleb, “gave out to the sons of Israel a bad report saying, ‘The land…devours its inhabitants; and all the people whom we saw in it are men of great size.’” As this small group continued to complain and grumble, the infection grew to the point where the people went to kill Moses and Aaron and just before the stones began to fly “the glory of the Lord appeared... to all the Israelites”(Num. 14:10). The infection of complaining is dangerous and will destroy people. - Complaining Implies We Don’t Trust God
Complaining is the exact opposite of trusting God and being thankful. God had led Israel and promised them ‘a land flowing with milk and honey.’ However, when things got tough, they continually complained and lamented that they wished they had never left Egypt. Exodus 14:12 says, “Is this not the word that we told you in Egypt, saying, ‘Let us alone that we may serve the Egyptians?’ For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than that we should die in the wilderness.”
Complaining in difficult circumstances says to God that we don’t trust Him. Remember that through everything that Job went through, he never blamed God (Job 1:22). The fear of the Lord is a force within us that will keep that killer of complaining out. “The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death” (Proverbs 14:27).
Let’s take a “relationship inventory.” Are you holding onto hurts? Bitterness? Are you in competition or in a battle with someone? Are you walking in unbelief? Maybe your flesh has opened the door to an ungrateful spirit. Ask God’s forgiveness for your grumbling and complaining right now. He can soften your heart and give you a spirit like His, willing to do battle in prayer – even for your enemies.
Psalm 141:1–3 (ESV) “O Lord, I call upon you; hasten to me! Give ear to my voice when I call to you! Let my prayer be counted as incense before you, and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice! Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!”
Corinthians 10:10 (NKJV)
10 nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer.
But, don’t we have a right to complain sometimes? Especially when some things are beyond our control? Why does God hate complaining so much?
HERE ARE 7 REASONS WHY GOD HATES COMPLAINING SO MUCH…
1.COMPLAINING IS THE OPPOSITE OF THANKSGIVING
It doesn’t get more clear than this…
1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NKJV)
18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Plain and simple…God expects us to be thankful and content in all things (Philippians 4:11-13). There is not one situation when one is complaining that they could not instead find a reason to give thanks or praise. In all of the Psalms where the psalmist was questioning God about troubles did the Psalm not end with praise and thanks giving. (Psalm 6, Psalm 13, Psalm 35, Psalm 94 are just a few). There is a difference in a humble lamentation and an arrogant complaint.
2. COMPLAINING POISONS YOUR ATTITUDE
If we’re honest with ourselves, complaining never makes us feel better. To the contrary if we’re angry it makes us more angry. If we’re frustrated it makes us more frustrated, if we’re discontent it makes us more discontent. Whatever our negative attitude, complaining just makes it more negative. Most of the time we even wear it on our expressions. We look angry and unsatisfied. It takes us from beyond a bad mood to a bad attitude. When we have a bad attitude long enough, it becomes our character…more on that in a moment.
3. COMPLAINING INFECTS THE ATTITUDES OF OTHERS
How many times have you felt perfectly fine and content about something or someone until someone complained? Complaining is contagious. When we share our negative discontent it can have the same negative affect on someone else’s attitude as well, especially if they are spiritually or emotionally weak.
When we spread discontent, animosity or just a negative attitude we become a stumbling block, and we must always remember that is something that the Lord hates too…
Matthew 18:6 (NKJV)
6 “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
4. COMPLAINING IMPLIES WE DON’T TRUST GOD
This is huge! God had led Israel and promised them ‘a land flowing with mild and honey’. However, when things got tough, they continually complained and lamented that they wished they had never left Egypt.
Exodus 14:12 (NKJV)
12 Is this not the word that we told you in Egypt, saying, ‘Let us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than that we should die in the wilderness.”
Exodus 16:3 (NKJV)
3 And the children of Israel said to them, “Oh, that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat and when we ate bread to the full! For you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.”
Complaining in difficult circumstances said to God then and still does today, that we don’t trust Him. Remember that through everything that Job went through did he never BLAME God of charge Him foolishly (Job 1:22).
Even if our circumstances are beyond our control, we must remember that God is sovereign to do what He pleases with His creation for however it suits His divine purpose, and we must trust Him in that.
5. GOD TAKES IT PERSONAL WHEN WE COMPLAIN AGAINST HIS ANOINTED
It’s God’s prerogative to choose whom He pleases to lead His people. Even though these leaders are mere men and women, He still expects us to submit to them. Notice God’s level of anger when the people murmured against Moses and Aaron…
Numbers 14:41-47(NKJV)
41 On the next day all the congregation of the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron, saying, “You have killed the people of the Lord.” 42 Now it happened, when the congregation had gathered against Moses and Aaron, that they turned toward the tabernacle of meeting; and suddenly the cloud covered it, and the glory of the Lord appeared. 43 Then Moses and Aaron came before the tabernacle of meeting. 44 And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 45 “Get away from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment.” And they fell on their faces. 46 So Moses said to Aaron, “Take a censer and put fire in it from the altar, put incense on it, and take it quickly to the congregation and make atonement for them; for wrath has gone out from the Lord. The plague has begun.” 47 Then Aaron took it as Moses commanded, and ran into the midst of the assembly; and already the plague had begun among the people. So he put in the incense and made atonement for the people.
We must be very careful of what we say about a man or woman of God, even when they make a mistake or have a human moment. Notice that God did not tell David that he could no longer be king even after he slept with Uriah’s wife and then had him killed (2 Samuel 12). David suffered the consequences, but that did not disqualify his anointing.
6. COMPLAINING SHIFTS RESPONSIBILITY FROM OURSELVES
When I’m honest with myself. Much of what I complain about is the consequences of my own mistakes and actions. Yes, there are things that happen beyond our control. Misfortunes, storms, sicknesses etc. But, many times we will find ourselves complaining about relationships, jobs, purchases, situations and circumstances that either we prayed for or God gave us to benefit us.
As early as in the garden of Eden, rather than accept his responsibility for choosing to eat the fruit himself, Adam blamed his wife…
Genesis 3:12 (NKJV)
12 Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.
7. COMPLAINING LEAVES A BAD TESTIMONY
As I mentioned earlier, when we express our dissatisfaction through complaining, and a negative mood and attitude, it can become our character. This is very important…
God expects us to set the standard of how to handle difficult circumstances.
When we react with negativity we have allowed that to become our testimony in that situation. When we allow our complaints to become go beyond moods to attitudes, we can allow that to become or come across as our character, especially in the limited context of other people’s exposure to us, or what they hear about us. Our character or perceived character can become our testimony.
Once we have mishandled a negative situation, our reputation may never recover. We don’t want that to become our testimony.
So, what to you do when you have a legitimate ‘complaint’?
Remember this. It’s not necessarily the fact that you disagree that makes it a complaint. It’s the fact that you disagree negatively. That you express your discontent or lament in a spirit of HUMILITY AND POSITIVITY.
There’s a difference in negative discontent and positive discontent.
Pray to God for the wisdom to handle your negative circumstances with grace and in a positive manner, and don’t get caught up in the sometimes overlooked sin of complaining.
BE BLESSTIFIED!
Set a guard over my mouth.” Pray it with me, “Set a guard over my mouth.” You say, “That’s just one verse, Chris.” No, Proverbs 10:19, “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” And Psalm 39:1 says, “I will guard my ways that I may not sin with my tongue, I will guard my mouth as with a muzzle.” But why should you guard your mouth? Why should you be concerned about the words you say? There are many reasons, and by way of introduction, the Word of God speaks truth.
First Your words are a THERMOMETER of your heart
Your words accurately indicate your spiritual condition and display your spiritual maturity. Your conversations tell you and me what you really are. Just as a thermometer gives a good reading of your temperature, God says in His Word, your speech gives an excellent reading of the condition of your heart spiritually.
Read what Jesus says in Matthew 12:34b, “For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.” You can see your heart spiritually by what your mouth says. There’s a small circle of so-called believers who think profanity is cool and some sort of freedom under God’s grace. But Jesus says those words are merely a reflection of your swear word spiritual condition. The words you use are merely describing your internal sinfulness. All that filth coming out of your mouths is because that filth is you. Those words are displaying your sick, filthy heart.
Don’t lean on church attendance, saying grace at meals, loyalty to solid Bible teachers, or being on lay staff to measure maturity–Jesus says measure by your words. Recall your last argument between husband and wife, what you say to your children when they make you mad, the phone conversation with an annoying sales guy–then you’ll know your heart and your maturity level.
Students, think back to when your friends were in a circle of conversation–did you share rumors, make gossip, rip someone to shreds or begin a full-fledged complaint campaign? Your words reveal who you are and where you’re at spiritually. Your words are the thermometer of your heart. That’s why you must ask each day, “Lord, set a guard over my mouth.”
Second Your words are DANGEROUS to you and to others
Listen to James 3:6–he is not exaggerating, “And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell.” One of the greatest lies I ever told while growing up was, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That is a lie right out of the pit of Hell, for bones can be broken and heal even stronger than before. But some names and comments can fester and destroy a person.
Just think for a moment what words can do–they can start wars or hold nations together. They can end friendships or destroy neighborhoods. They can split families, bring joy, exasperate children, change lives. They can disqualify leaders, end bitterness, heal wounds, express love. They can anger parents, get spouses to fight, cure ailments. And they allow us to pray to the living God and begin marriages.
Our words are powerful and our speech is dangerous. Think about it–two of the Ten Commandments refer to the tongue, and the book of Proverbs is packed with over 100 warnings against unguarded talk. But Jesus Himself said it best in Luke 12:3, “Whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.” You must take the slips of the tongue and your normal conversations more seriously.
Proverbs affirms the same, “The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, but the perverted tongue will be cut out” (Proverbs 10:31). The Bible even tells you in Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”–death and life! Is there anything worse than death and life? Yes there is–your eternity. Heaven and Hell are measured by your words. Matthew 12:36 and 37, “I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the Day of Judgment. 37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Your words reveal whether your heart is regenerate or not.
What you talk about is serious–God wants us to be convinced complaining, negativity, grumbling, and criticism are serious. In fact, a critical spirit is always sin. Ephesians 4 was written to encourage you to practice your position in Christ, which includes your speech. In verse 29 to 32, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
Just look at the obvious–he says, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth.” An unwholesome word is literally anything that is foul, putrid, rotten, or merely just worthless. God commands us to literally act upon ourselves in such a way as to not to let those words out. Only let out the words which will build up and benefit the hearer.
Then God says anything spoken out of bitterness grieves God the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is a person–He is equally God and is pained, grieved, and sinned against whenever we speak unwholesome, bitter, angry, or slanderous words. What a thought–sorrow can come to God and limit His ability to work in your life or in our corporate life when we speak wrongly. It is sin. Words are dangerous to you and to others, encouraging you to “set a guard over your mouth.”
Third Your words are INFECTIOUS
Words spread sin. Words spread unbelief. Words infect others with doubt and mistrust. Look at the nation of Israel who grumbled during their exodus. The Israelites were delivered by ten supernatural plagues–but how did they respond? They complained. Exodus 14:10 and 11, “As Pharaoh drew near, the sons of Israel looked, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they became very frightened; so the sons of Israel cried out to the Lord. 11 Then they said to Moses, ‘Is it because there were no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? Why have you dealt with us in this way, bringing us out of Egypt?’”
Next they sent twelve spies into the land and ten came back full of fear and full of doubt, and only two came back full of faith. But their heart of sin, expressed in words, infected the people of Israel, leading to a 40-year discipline and delay. Your words are contagious. How you talk affects others, damages others, causes others to think less of others, causes some to not listen, to doubt God’s Word, to doubt God’s leaders, to doubt God’s goodness and mercy and wisdom and power. Words lead to division, like in Philippi–and personally sap your strength.
In 1 Corinthians 10:10 Paul refers to those who died in the wilderness wanderings because they were infected with a complaining heart, when he says, “Nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer.” Your words will be caught by others. Just say something in front of a four-year-old once and you’ll hear it for months.
When you catch a cold, most of you thoughtfully don’t touch others and you carefully cover your mouth when you sneeze or talk. God says we need to have the same care with our words. Begin every day with a plea to “set a guard over my mouth, Lord.”
Fourth Your words are SUBTLE in hiding sin and rebellion
Few sins are as subtle as a critical spirit. In our culture, a critical spirit is not only acceptable, but essential to talk radio. Every sitcom, news program and blog is saturated with criticism. Beware–even though critical speech is acceptable in our society, it is not pleasing to God. Proverbs 26:20 to 25 says, “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down. Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife. The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body. Like an earthen vessel overlaid with silver dross, are burning lips and a wicked heart. He who hates disguises it with his lips, but he lays up deceit in his heart. When he speaks graciously, do not believe him, for there are seven abominations in his heart.”
Did you catch that? A critical spirit is hidden–it’s disguised. It is covered with silver, which tells us it looks good, but it’s rotten at the core. It’s disguised, even appears gracious–but it’s actually an abomination. The subtlety of a critical spirit covers a heart of pure rebellion and sin. And we all fall into it. “Well, Fred–he sure is a nice guy, but did you hear…?” Or, “That lesson was great, but did you see his shoes?” And, “Well our group is great, except for Edna!” In disguise, “Pray for Mary, she was hurt by her demanding husband Tom.”
The #1 hindrance to the health of any congregation is the toleration of known sin. Among the sins most tolerated are the sins of the mouth. The most tolerated, yet most destructive, are the wrong words of believers. Words destroy relationships. Words undermine trust. Words prevent love. Words create division–like Philippi. Be careful of words–they’re a subtle way to continue in sin, moving us to ask the Lord, “set a guard over my mouth.”
Paul now gets to words in verse 14 of Philippians 2. Paul continues His description of a worthy walk. Back in chapter 1 Paul said in verse 27, “Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel.”
Paul went on to command the Philippians to live in unity, then motivating them to live in unity through the humble example of Christ in verses 1 to 11. Then Paul describes the responsibility of believers to step out in obedience in verse 12 and depend on God’s sovereign help in verse 13. And now Paul says a worthy walk focuses on . . .
#1 THE REQUIREMENT TO GUARD YOUR MOUTH
In this book on unity, Paul appeals to the Philippians to live without two damning traits. Verse 14 says, “Do all things without grumbling or disputing.” The word “all” in the Greek language means what? All–everything, all of life, every relationship, every circumstance, every day, every moment, 24/7. When life is great and when death is preferable–ALL.
The command here is the verb “do”—“do all things.” Present tense all the time, I actively command you to do all, every moment, as you work out your salvation, as you live under the sovereign hand of God, live without grumbling or disputing. Negatively, Philippians tells us to not be known for grumbling. And positively, Philippians tells us we are to be known for rejoicing always.
Paul says live all of life without grumbling. This grumbling refers to the emotional murmurings and dissatisfactions of the heart. Grumbling is from the Greek gongusmos—it’s an onomatopoetic word, telling us it sounds like it means and means like it sounds. You can hear it in the midst of a crowd, can’t you? The muttering sounds people make when they’re disgruntled—“gongusmos gongusmos gongusmos gongusmos gongusmos.”
Grumbling is a negative response to something unpleasant, inconvenient, or disappointing, arising from the self-centered notion that it is undeserved. The verb used to describe the Pharisees in Luke 5:30, “who began grumbling at [Jesus’] disciples, saying, ‘Why do you eat and drink with the tax collectors and sinners?’”
Paul also says, live all of life without disputing–that’s intellectual debating and arguing. With this word, Paul makes certain he also addresses the believer who is not emotional, but is in fact very intellectual. This is the person who has a list of reasons to justify his complaining. But this man is also sinning with his words. How do we know?
The Greek word for disputing is dialogismos, which is where we get our English word dialog, and has the basic meaning of inner reasoning. But the word soon developed into the notion of questioning, doubting, or disputing the truth of a matter. In Romans 14:1, the word is used of passing judgment on another believer’s opinions. In 1 Timothy 2:8, the word is used to describe dissension. Grumbling is essentially emotional, disputing is essentially intellectual–but both are describing believers who are sinning with their mouths.
Listen, how many want to say the Christian life is easy? It is not. Behind the sins of grumbling or disputing is the reality that even though you are citizens of Heaven, you also live in a fallen world in unredeemed bodies. The Lord often leads you through seasons of trial and testing and God warns you to expect persecution. It is inevitable–circumstances will not always be favorable or pleasant.
As Paul writes this letter to the Philippians, he is under house arrest in Rome, waiting to hear whether he will die for his faith. He rejoices that his circumstances have resulted in greater progress for the Gospel as he’s been able to proclaim the Gospel to the future leadership of Rome and with members of Caesar’s own household.
Even though he rejoices in the honor of suffering for Christ’s sake, Paul also knows he could die soon. It would be easy to give into grumbling or disputing, but Paul models and commands, “Rejoice always, again I say rejoice.” Every circumstance is to be accepted willingly and joyfully, without murmuring, complaint, or disappointment.
There is no exception. We must avoid emotional grumbling or intellectual disputing. It is always sinful for believers to complain about anything the Lord calls them to do or about any circumstance which He sovereignly allows. We need to ask God to “set a guard over my mouth.” Whether the task is difficult or easy, whether the situation involves a blessing or a trial, negative attitudes are forbidden. But why? I am so glad you asked.
#2 THE REASONS TO GUARD YOUR MOUTH
Why is grumbling or disputing so wrong? Paul has already told us, and is about to tell us more in the verses before and after verse 14.
First Complaining maligns the CHARACTER of God Verse 13
To grumble or dispute, to murmur or complain is a failure to trust God and to submit to His sovereign will. Context holds the answers. Paul just said in Philippians 2:13, “For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” God is sovereign. God does as He pleases, only as He pleases and always as He pleases.
So every time you complain, grumble, or criticize, you’re actually attacking the character of God. You’re challenging His sovereign rule. You are questioning His wisdom in allowing the events of life to go the way He has chosen. You’re blasting His love for you as His child in working all things out for your good. You’re slandering His name.
That is why God said in Lamentations 3:39, “Why should any living mortal, or any man, offer complaint in light of his sins?” Verse 40 adds, “Let us examine and probe our ways, and let us return to the Lord.” God is getting personal now. Christian, how can you complain about anything in light of the fact you deserve to be punished forever with eternal torment in Hell because of your sins–and yet in Christ, because of Jesus, as His child, you have received mercy and grace? How dare you complain!
Can you see why God hates a critical spirit so much? Any day you are not in Hell is a pretty good day. Your worst day here on Earth would be Heaven to anyone in Hell. When you complain, grumble, dispute and manifest a critical spirit, you’re in reality slandering the character of God. All complaining, no matter what form it takes, is directed at the God who orders your circumstances.
God is sovereign. Psalm 115:3 says, “But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases.” When you complain, you are saying, “God, you do not know what you are doing.” When you grumble, you are saying to God, “I know better than you.” When you dispute, you say, “Lord your plans for my life stink!” Complaining maligns the character of God–we need to ask the Lord to “set a guard over my mouth.”
Second Complaining maligns our WITNESS in the world Verse 15
Why is grumbling or disputing so wrong? Paul continues his answer in verse 15, “So that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15). Paul says the reason you live all of life without emotionally grumbling or intellectually disputing is so you can be a testimony.
When you live without a critical spirit, you literally prove to be unique and unmixed. We know it by experience–as you live a life without complaint, you’re going to stand out as those who uniquely belong to God in a distorted and fallen world. When you live without a critical heart, you will shine like the sun during the day and the moon at night. Paul says if you put away your critical heart, then you will be a witness at your work and at your school.
Paul warns if you want to extinguish your witness as a Christian and as a church in this world, just allow grumbling and disputing to continue. But when you continue to complain and not guard your mouth, you become a person who not only has nothing to offer others–but worse, you are so unattractive you literally portray God as someone they should ignore since He could not possibly be the sovereign God everyone must answer to. We need to ask the Lord to “set a guard over your mouth.” So you’ve had the requirement and the reasons, and now . . .
#3 THE RESPONSE TO GUARDING YOUR MOUTH
The first response is to REPENT of your words. A complaining, negative heart is sin–God is serious about it. You must recognize it as serious as physically playing with fire. You’re going to get burned and it may leave permanent scars if you do not change to correct it. Listen beloved, if your spiritual house is falling apart and God gives you the tools to fix it up, but you do not use them, you are a fool.
The first tool to restore your heart from a critical spirit is REPENTANCE. Don’t cover your sin–admit it and deal with it. It does not take weeks of remorse, but it does take a serious choice before God. You need to make a 180 degree turn. In Psalm 32:5, God tells us what real repentance will say and do. “I acknowledged my sin to Thee and my iniquity I did not hide. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.’” Don’t cover your sins like David did for an entire year. The results were he was sick, guilty, and broken. The result will be the same for you unless you repent of this sin. Don’t cover it with pious excuses. Don’t find others who are just as guilty or just as hard-hearted to reassure you. Get right with God now and repent.
How do you know if you have repented? God’s Word has the answer. Look at 2 Corinthians 7:10 to 11, “For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret. For behold, what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong. In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter.”
Repentance will show in a change of behavior and a zeal to make things right. You may also need to make things right with the people you’ve abused or spoken against. Private sins are dealt with privately, personal sins are dealt with personally and public sins are dealt with publicly. Do not allow your heart to grow hard–confess your sins to God and to others. Ask forgiveness in humility. Turn from your sins of the mouth. Ask the Lord to “set a guard over my mouth.”
The second response is use your words to EDIFY. Start aggressively using your words to build, edify and bless the lives of others. Again, the best way to stop a negative habit is to replace it with a positive one. Instead of tearing someone down, build them up. Instead of pointing out all their faults, encourage their strengths. Instead of correcting their wrongs, point out what they did right.
I try to preach every sermon as if it’ll be my last–to preach like a dying man to dying men. We need to view every relationship the same way–to live with no regrets, to say what must be said, to love, appreciate, build and encourage others. Remember, what you say to others may be for the last time until Heaven.
Christians need to be much more encouraging then we are. Don’t worry about puffing them up, you are called to encourage one another. First Thessalonians 5:11, “Encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.” Words are powerful and they can be powerful tools for good and God’s glory. Proverbs 25:11, “Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.” Proverbs 15:23, “A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word!”
Use your words to edify. Paul says the same thing in Ephesians 4:29, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” Ask the Lord to “set a guard over your mouth.”
The third response is to use your words to EVANGELIZE the lost. Romans 10:14 and 15, “How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher? 15 How will they preach unless they are sent? Just as it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!’”
Use your words to share the good news. God became a man in the person of Jesus Christ, lived a perfect life, then offered Himself to take the punishment you deserve for your sins before God. God poured out His wrath for your sin on Christ on the cross. To prove it was all true, Christ rose from the dead and now lives as the only way anyone can ever be right with God.
John 14:6, “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.’” You must turn from your sin in repentance and depend on Jesus Christ alone by faith. When salvation is genuine, you will be transformed by Christ internally. You will want to follow Christ in obedience to His Word. You will love God’s Word, God’s people, and trust God’s plan. You will love Christ above spouse, children or treasure. A believer’s heart pursues Christ–is that you? If not, then . . .
The fourth response is to use your words to CONFESS Christ. Let’s read Romans 10:9 and 10, “That if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; 10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.” Let’s pray.
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