Angry men are fools full of fury. There is nothing godly, noble, or manly about them, no matter how you try to justify their anger or makes excuses for it. Angry men are fools. If you want to be a wise man, you will avoid them at all costs, or you run the risk of learning their hateful and wicked habits to the destruction of your soul (Pr 22:25; 13:20).
Angry men are fools. If you want a peaceful life, you will avoid them, for they will bring never-ending conflict into your life (Pr 15:18; 19:19; 29:22). Angry men cannot learn new ways of living, so you will be required to get them out of trouble over and over. The best choice is to realize they are helpless slaves of depraved emotions and avoid them.
You do not have a right to any friends you wish. God has authority to limit your friends. Wise men appreciate His wisdom about friends, so they choose them accordingly. Do not deceive yourself; evil communications corrupt good manners (I Cor 15:33). Angry men will tempt you to learn angry habits yourself, and they will cause you a lot of trouble.
Anger is in the bosoms of fools (Eccl 7:9). Wise men defer anger (Pr 19:11). Wise men rule their spirits and are slow to anger (Pr 14:29). Why? Because they know that truly great men know how to rule their spirits and avoid anger (Pr 16:32). Why? Because they know that anger never helps them work the righteousness of God (Jas 1:19). Why? Because they know that angry haste in any such matter will bring them shame (Pr 25:8).
Angry men often glory in their quick temper as a sign of manliness or toughness, but only fools get angry quickly, because they are slaves to their base passions (Pr 14:17,29). They cannot rule their spirits, so God and Solomon compare them to defenseless cities without walls – any slight event will trigger their total collapse and ruin (Pr 25:28).
The lesson is clear enough. What will you do with it? Cut off acquaintances or friends who get angry quickly or often. They do not deserve friends. Let them live and die alone. Angry men should be left to rot in their own fury. Solomon’s reason is plain enough in the following verse, “Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul” (Pr 22:25).
The lesson is clear enough. Avoid angry men. Do not befriend them, associate with them, or be connected in any way you can avoid. Do not go into partnership with an angry man, for you will smart for it. Do not marry an angry man, for he will cause you great pain. Do not buy or sell to an angry man, if you can avoid it. Why cause yourself a perpetual headache? Do not even go to dinner with such a person (Pr 17:1; 21:9).
Jesus taught that anger without a cause is murder in the sight of God (Matt 5:21-22). Of course, the effeminate religionists and silly women of the present generation have removed these three words from their newfangled Bibles, leaving the verse to condemn any and all anger (II Tim 3:1-7). However, God and His prophets and apostles got angry at sin and sinners. Paul wrote that it was possible to be angry and not sin (Eph 4:26-27).
Fools sin every time they get angry, for they will not resolve their anger before the sun sets (Eph 4:26-27). By holding wrath and being angry often, they give place to the devil to enter them and wreak havoc in their hearts and minds. Their refusal to forgive others is one of Satan’s devices that allow him to take advantage of them (II Cor 2:7-11). Safety from the devil requires full forgiveness from your heart immediately (Matt 18:21-35).
Rather than choose angry men for friends or go places with furious men, choose godly men for your friends, and go with them to the house of God. True children of God do not get angry or furious. They are filled with love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance (Gal 5:22-23). Do these nine traits describe you? Do they describe your friends? Do they describe your church? They should.
Here is the problem -
- When we are in a friendship, we let down our guard, failing to understand that "sin is contagious."
- Therefore is is important to consider very carefully the question of having an intimate relationship with anyone who displays anger, wrath or fury.
- When the friendship is new, restraint is evident, but it wears down over time and becomes an acceptable standard of behavior
- We become contaminated by their hasty ways and foul language
- Forget it - if you think you will change their behavior -
- The truth is - they change us - to become like them...
Where we make our mistake...
Psalms 106.35-36
"Instead, they mingled among the pagans and adopted their evil customs. They worshiped their idols, which led to their downfall."
- In wanting to get along, we compromise
- we become ensnared because it is hard to resist a "friend"
Evil ways are much sooner learned than good manners. We learn anger easier than we learn meekness. We spread disease, rather than health...
Angry people stir up strife and those who become angry cause much transgression (Proverbs 29.22). Man’s anger doesn’t lead to a godly life (James 1.20). Harsh words stir up anger (Proverbs 15.1) and often produces strife (Proverbs 30.33). The hope of the wicked ends in wrath (Proverbs 11.23) and riches do not profit in the day of wrath (Proverbs 11.4).
Anger is an often illustrated, referenced and discussed emotion in the Bible. For example, God has anger (Psalms 7.11, Isaiah 30.27) and is described as being One who is slow to anger (Exodus 34.6, Numbers 14.18, Psalm 86.15). In addition, through our sin, we can provoke God to anger (Deuteronomy 31.29, 9.22, Judges 2.12, 2 Kings 21.15, Psalms 106.29). In the Bible, people get angry with each other (Genesis 27.41, 30.2) and with God (2 Kings 19.27-28, Proverbs 19.3).
In business, anger is a debilitating emotion, even though some think it leads to creativity and increased productivity.[4] The opposite is often true: anger blots out reason and blurs good judgment,[5] which contributes to decreased productivity and morale.
Employees are more likely to engage in unethical behavior when they are angry.[6] Those on the receiving end of anger can carry grudges against the one who became angry. Often, anger harms the professional reputation of the one who loses his temper and can create a reputation for making errors in judgment in the heat of the moment. People will be less likely to want to work with or for an angry person and may avoid contact with such a person altogether.[7]
What the Bible teaches is that an angry lifestyle can be learned. Once learned, anger ensnares[8] you. Once ensnared, you’ll find yourself becoming more and more angry at less and less important things. Over time, your appetite for anger will become insatiable. Your anger may give you short-term results, but the long-term consequences will be irreparable. In addition, your other management skills will atrophy and over time, you’ll have only one management technique: anger.
Many successful people are also angry people.[9] In spite of their success, I will submit that they could have been even moresuccessful had they not used anger to achieve success. When you see an angry person who is successful, you’re looking at one who could have been more successful had they not been held back by their anger. This includes pastors and Christian ministry leaders whom I have personally known who were gifted communicators in the pulpit and excellent leaders but could be as mean as a junk yard dog behind closed doors.
Anger is often abusive. In business, anger is usually expressed when there is an imbalance of power in the relationship. The one who wields a higher authority or power is the one who uses anger to manipulate, control, demean or simply demonstrate superiority. Some use anger intentionally to attack others to to motivate subordinates. Nearly always, words which offend, would and/or insult are part of the verbal diatribe. When we’re angry, we do and say things that diminish and discount the thoughts, actions and personhood of others.
Anger can also be expressed through cynicism, sarcasm or quiet withdrawal. Anger need not be overt in order to be present and debilitating.
Christian business owners are not to be characterized by anger nor should we befriend or develop close relations with those who are prone to anger or fury. If we do, we will learn their ways and damage our witness for Christ. This instruction applies to our hiring practices, vendor and partner management and customer acquisition. Stay away from angry people in business or those prone to being quick-tempered or hot-headed. This instruction applies even more to ministry leaders, such as pastors and college presidents, who presumably should be able to have their anger submitted to the healing touch of Christ.
[1] אַל־תִּ֭תְרַע אֶת־בַּ֣עַל אָ֑ף literally, do not befriend an owner of anger(LEB). The ESV and NASB translates בַּ֣עַל (ba’al) as man. NIV, person. I like “owner” better. בַּ֫עַל is most often translated owner, husband. Also, citizens. The word is often transliterated as Baal (Judges 2.11, 2.13, 1 Samuel 7.4, 1 Kings 16.31). Of the 154 uses of this word, 74 are transliterations. So when we see the Israelites submitting to a Baal, like Ba’al-Peor (Numbers 25.3) we’re not just seeing them foolishly worship an idol, we’re witnessing their tradeoff of ownership: they’re submitting to the ownership of false gods and rejecting the ownership of the true God. To translate this word as manor person deemphasizes the ownership and control an angry person has over their anger. The word for anger is אָ֑ף, nose, face, nostrils, anger, from the word אנף, to be angry with. The shortened form of this word is used in Genesis 2.7, “…breathed into his nostrils the breath of life.” Genesis 27.45, “when your brother is no longer angry with you…”. Moses left Pharaoh hot with anger (Exodus 11.8) and when Achan sinned through stealing in Joshua 7.1, the Lord’s anger burned against Israel. The idea is that one becomes so heated, so angry, that one’s nostrils visibly flair.
[2] חֵ֝מֹות from חֵמָה, fury, intense anger. Genesis 27.44, “stay with him for a while until your brother’s fury subsides”. Leviticus 26.28, “…then in my anger I will be hostile toward you.” Deuteronomy 29.27, “in furious anger and in great wrath the Lord uprooted them…”. This word has a similar degree of intensity to אָ֑ף.
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