How to Exercise Authority as a Believer
- By speaking faith-filled words
The power of our words is one of the most direct ways to exert our authority. The Bible teaches that the tongue has the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21), and as Christians, we can speak words of faith and life over ourselves and others. By declaring the truth of God’s Word and calling upon His power, we may change our lives and the world around us by speaking words of triumph, healing, and abundance.
- Praying with Confidence and Authority
Prayer is one of the most effective weapons in our armory of power. When we pray, we open a dialogue with God, imploring Him to act on our behalf and the behalf of others we care about. If we want to pray effectively, we need to do it with a spirit of submission and humility, knowing that our power comes from God and not from inside ourselves. We must also pray in accordance with God’s plan and the promises in His Word, relying fully on His Word and His promises.
- Relying on God’s Word
Our faith and our authority come directly from God’s Word. Using God’s Word in prayer, conversation, and decision-making aligns us with His will and strength. God’s Word is most useful when it is studied, memorized, and put into practice. When we do this, we will discover the life-changing potential of God’s Word for ourselves and those around us.
- Binding and Loosing
Binding and losing is another practical technique to demonstrate our power. Declaring anything to be either bound or loose in the spiritual realm is part of what is involved in this process. For instance, we may free the power of the Holy Spirit to bring about healing and restoration, or we may bind the adversary’s influence in a certain circumstance.
For us to bind and lose successfully, we need to have a firm grasp on the authority that Christ has given us and approach this activity with humility, obedience, and confidence.
Read also, Sins That Will Keep You Out of Heaven
- Obeying God
Finally, obedience to God is the most effective method to use our authority. By doing what God wants and following His instructions, we put our faith and trust in Him and His authority. In order to be obedient, we must set aside our own will and instead act in accordance with the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Obedience to God’s will gives us the strength to further His kingdom in our own lives and in the lives of others around us.
Scripture makes a distinction between civil and a new type of authority, servant authority, and often contrasts the two--allowing civil authority to continue in this world until the end of the age, but forbidding it in the church.
We know how the kingdom of this world works: power, the "pecking order", money, dominion, class distinctions, titles, status, etc. Should such practices be permitted in the kingdom of God? What is the destiny of those who "exercise authority", "lord it over", and "want to be first"?
The question is important today because many Christian sects have adopted the world's practices and teachings of power structure, calling it "spiritual authority". What does Jesus think of this? Is this teaching Scriptural?
First: How Is The Christian To Interact With Civil Authority?
Rom 13:1,3-4,6 (NIV) Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established... Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing... This is why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing.
1 Pet 2:13-14 (NIV) Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right.
Temporary, Practical Submission To Worldly Authority Versus Eternal Submission To God
Luke 20:20-25 (NIV) Keeping a close watch on him, they sent spies, who pretended to be honest. They hoped to catch Jesus in something he said so that they might hand him over to the power and authority of the governor. So the spies questioned him: "Teacher... is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?" He saw through their duplicity and said to them, "Show me a denarius. Whose portrait and inscription are on it?" "Caesar's," they replied. He said to them, "Then give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."
John 18:36 (GLT) Jesus answered, "My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, My servants would have fought that I might not be delivered up to the Jews. But now My kingdom is not from here."
When (And Only When) Not To Obey The Authorities Of This World
Acts 4:19 (TEB) But Peter and John answered them, "You yourselves judge which is right in God's sight, to obey you or to obey God."
Acts 5:28 (NIV) "We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name..." Peter and the other apostles replied: "We must obey God rather than men!"
The Simple Authority Structure Of The Kingdom Of God
Mat 28:18 (NIV) Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."
1 Tim 2:5-6 (NIV) For there is one God and one mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself a ransom for all men...
Eph 1:21 (NIV) far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but in the age to come.
Phil 2:10-11 (NEB) that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow--in heaven, on earth, and in the depths--and every tongue confess, "Jesus Christ is Lord", to the glory of God the Father.
1 Cor 8:5-7 (Phi) For though there are so-called gods both in heaven and earth--gods and lords galore in fact--for us there is only one God, the Father, from whom everything comes, and for whom we live. And there is one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom everything exists, and through whom we ourselves are alive. But this knowledge of ours is not shared by all men...
1 Cor 8:7 (NIV) But not everyone knows this...
God's "Servant Authority" Is Not Of This World
Luke 4:18 (Jer) "The Spirit of the Lord has been given to me, for he has anointed me. He has sent me to bring the good news to the poor, to proclaim liberty to captives and to the blind new sight, to set the downtrodden free..."
Luke 9:1-2 (NIV) When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.
Authority Over What?
Luke 10:17-20 (NIV) The seventy-two returned with joy and said, "Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name." He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions, and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are recorded in heaven."
A Completely New Kind of Authority
John 13:3-8 (NIV) Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God, so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?" Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." "No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet." Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."
Now You Know...
John 13:12-17 (NIV) When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."
The Mysterious "Nicolaitans?"
Rev 2:6 (NIV) "But you have this in your favor: you hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate."
Rev 2:15-16 (NIV) "Likewise, you also have those who hold to the teaching of the Nicolaitans. Repent, therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth."
An Attempt To Explain Who The "Nicolaitans" Might Be
Rev 2:6 (DVP) "But you have this in your favor, you hate the practices of 'those who lord it over the laity', which I also hate."
Rev 2:15-16 (DVP) "Likewise, you also have those who hold to the teaching of 'those who prevail over the people'. Repent, therefore! Otherwise, I will come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth."
Does This Correspond With The Previous Teaching And Emphasis Of Jesus?
Luke 22:24-27 (NEB) A dispute arose between them about which should be reckoned the greatest, but he said to them, "Among pagans it is the kings who lord it over them, and those who haveauthority over them are given the title Benefactor. This must not happen with you. No; the greatest among you must behave as if he were the youngest, the leader as if he were the one who serves. For who is the greater: the one at table or the one who serves? The one at table, surely? [...by worldly standards.] Yet here I am among you as one who serves!"
Mark 10:42-45 (Phi) so Jesus called them all to him, and said, "You know that the so-called rulers of the heathen lord it over them, and their great men have absolute power. But it must not be so among you. No, whoever among you wants to be great must become the slave of all men! For the Son of Man himself has not come to be served but to serve,and to give his life to set many others free."
Mat 20:25-28 (NIV) Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and that their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave--just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.
Let's Imitate The World!
1 Sam 8:4-7,9,19-20 (NIV) ...The elders of Israel... said to him, "...Now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have." But when they said, "Give us a king to lead us," this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the Lord. And the Lord told him: "Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected meas their king... Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will do."... But the people refused to listen to Samuel. "No!" they said. "We want a king over us. Then we will be like all the other nations..."
The Desire of The Flesh for The Authority of This World
Jer 5:26-29 (NAS) "For wicked men are found among My people, they watch like fowlers lying in wait; they set a trap, they catch men. Like a cage full of birds, so their houses are full of deceit; therefore they have become great [NIV: powerful] and rich. They are fat, they are sleek, they also excel in deeds of wickedness; they do not plead the cause, the cause of the orphan, that they may prosper; and they do not defend the rights of the poor. 'Shall I not punish these people' declares the Lord, 'On a nation such as this shall I not avenge Myself?'"
Jer 5:30-31 (NAS) "An appalling and horrible thing has happened in the land: the prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule by their own authority; and My people love it so! But what will you do at the end of it?"
God's People Embrace The Authority of This World and Call It "Spiritual"
Jer 23:10 (NIV) ...The prophets follow an evil course and use their power unjustly.
Eze 34:4 (NIV) You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick, or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally.
Gal 2:2,6 (NIV) [Paul:] ...But I did this privately to those who seemed to be leaders... As for those who seemed to be important--whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance--those men added nothing to my message.
Mark 12:38-40 (NIV) As he taught, Jesus said, "Watch out for the teachers of the Law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and be greeted in the market-places, and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets. They devour widows' houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. Such men will be punished most severely."
The Carnal Mind Will Never Understand Servant Authority
Mat 21:23,27 (NIV) Jesus entered the temple courts, and, while he was teaching, the chief priests and the elders of the people came to him. "By what authority are you doing these things?" they asked. "And who gave you this authority?..." Then he [Jesus] said, "Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things."
John 19:10-11 (NIV) ...Pilate said: "Don't you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?" Jesus answered, "You have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin."
Are We Not Carnal?
2 Pet 2:10 (NAS) and especially those who indulge the flesh in its corrupt desires and despise authority. Daring, self-willed...
1 Cor 3:1-4 (NKJ) And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people, but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men? For when one says, "I am of Paul," and another, "I am of Apollos," are you not carnal?
2 Pet 2:10 (Amp) And particularly those [the carnal, the unrighteous] who walk after the flesh and indulge in the lust of polluting passion, and scorn and despise [real, servant] authority [as in Mat 21:23-27, above]. Presumptuous and daring--self willed and self loving (creatures)!
Advice About How To Practice And Recognize Real Authority
Mat 23:10-12 (Phi) "And you must not let people call you 'leaders'--you have only one leader, Christ!The only 'superior' among you is the one who serves the others. For every man who promotes himselfwill be humbled, and every man who learns to be humble will find promotion."
1 Pet 5:3 (Phi) You should aim not at being dictators but examples of Christian living in the eyes of the flock committed to your charge.
Authority To Do What?
Heb 13:17 (Phi) Obey your leaders and recognize their authority. They keep constant watch over your welfare, and they have great responsibility. Try to make their work a pleasure and not a painful burden--that would be of no advantage to you.
Heb 13:17 (GLT) Yield to those taking the lead of you, and submit, for they watch for your souls, giving an account, that they may do this with joy...
Servant Authority: To Help/Feed/Heal, Not To "Lord"/Order/Control
2 Cor 1:24 (NIV) Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, because it is by faith you stand firm.
2 Cor 13:9-10 (NIV) We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is for your perfection. This is why I write these things when I am absent, that when I come I may not have to be harsh in the use of authority--the authority the Lord gave mefor building you up, not for tearing you down.
Mark 9:35 (NIV) Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."
John 21:17 (NIV) ...Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."
Motive Check
1 Pet 5:2-4 (NIV) Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers--not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, buteager to serve; not lording it overthose entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.
Watch Out!
Acts 20:28-31 (NIV) "Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseer. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood. I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from among your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard! Remember that for three years I never stopped warning you night and day with tears."
In all Christian activity some form of authority is exercised, either the authority of one individual over others, or the authority of an organization over individuals. The administration of leadership takes on so many varied forms that believers often become confused as to what constitutes legitimate Biblical authority. Some Christians in positions of leadership exercise Biblical principles of authority, others use human standards mixed with divine principles. Any Christian leader who is not well versed in the Biblical doctrines relating to authority is likely to use a combination of proper and improper authority.
All correct authority in Christian activity must derive from the Christian system itself: that is, a Christian leader must find his credentials of leadership in the word of God. Authority is of two kinds, primary and delegated authority.
Primary authority grows out of the relationship of those who have the right to command and those whose duty it is to obey. The basis of all primary authority in Christianity is the person of God. We are His; He made us. We are the creatures of His hand and the product of His intelligence. He is our maker, preserver and benefactor. He, therefore, has the absolute right to command; and it is our absolute duty to obey Him. God has seen fit only occasionally to govern man by His personal and primary authority. He usually delegates authority to others. He rules by His representatives.
Delegated authority is a right to command and enforce obedience which can be given to another by the party holding primary authority.
God’s Primary Authority Was Delegated to the Lord Jesus Christ
The first delegation of authority in Christianity was from God the Father to God the Son. Hebrews 1:1-2a, “God, who gave to our forefathers many different glimpses of the truth in the words of the prophets, has now, at the end of the present age, given us the truth in the Son.” Jesus said, “The word which you hear is not mine, but the Father’s Who sent me.” (John 12:49) “No man knows who the Father is, but the Son, and he to whom the Son will reveal Him.” (John 14:6) Jesus closes His ministry on earth, and leads off His great commission to the apostles with the statement, “All power is given unto me in heaven and on earth.” (Matthew 28:18)
The Son stands nearest the Father in delegated authority. He is the “brightness of the Father’s glory and the express image of His person.” (Hebrews 1:3) “It has pleased the Father than in Him should all fullness dwell.” (Colossians 1:19) When the Father acknowledged Christ after His baptism, He said, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17) Christ was not only the delegate of God on earth, he is also the “image of the invisible God,” (Colossians 1:15) and He said to His doubting disciples, “He that hath seen me hath seen the Father.” (John 14:9)
There are several important inferences to be drawn from the concept of the authority of Jesus Christ. First, Jesus Christ is a manifestation of the power of God. Whether His power is seen in the material world or in the spiritual, our attention is arrested and our interest is challenged. God’s power is part of life itself. It is the agency through which God’s mind controls matter. It is the hand by which God’s purpose takes form in the world.
There is a difference between power and force. Force startles and frightens us. Power, when directed by intelligent love, is always pleasing to us. There is force in a lightning bolt. It shatters the sky, can kill living beings, cleaves a tree in half, or burns a building to the ground. There is power when an intelligent mind uses electricity to drive a train or light a city. Jesus Christ, who is God himself, is a manifestation of the power of God, not of the force of God.
Authority Passes to the Apostles
The Transfer of Authority to the Apostles
As long as Jesus was on earth, He talked with men face to face. Men were directly under His command, and could claim His promises directly. But He has passed away from earth and does not rule anymore by His own direct authority. Just as the Father delegated His authority to the Son, so Jesus delegated His authority to the apostles.
In John 17 are the following statements:
God gave the Son power over all flesh.
This power was given that He might bestow eternal life on all men.
Eternal life is bestowed through the knowledge of the only true God and Jesus Christ whom He has sent.
God gave the Son certain men out of the world, that He might teach them all that God had given him.
All men should believe on Christ through the word of the disciples.
In the transfer of authority from God the Father to the Son there was no danger of error or mistake. The Son, being divine, could receive without misunderstanding all that the Father communicated. But the apostles were human with all the weaknesses and imperfections of their humanity. There was danger, therefore, that they might not correctly understand or apprehend the communication which Christ made to them.
It became necessary, therefore, for some power or influence to be exerted on their minds to preserve them from error either in taking in or in giving out the lessons which they received. Therefore, Christ promised them the Holy Spirit, who was to guide them into all truth in the conveying of the gospel to the world.
1 Cor. 2:9-13, “Eye has not seen nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But God has revealed them unto us by his Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. Now, we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. Which things also we speak not in the words which man’s wisdom teaches, but in words which the Holy Spirit teaches.”
The Apostles’ Use of Delegated Authority
The Spirit guided apostles are the representatives of God on earth for the purpose of making known His will to the sons of men. Their teaching is Christ’s teaching. Their authority is the authority of the Lord. “As the Father has sent me, so send I you.” (John 20:21) So, when the apostles completed the revelation of the will of God in Jesus Christ, that revelation became the perfect law of liberty to which nothing could rightfully be added or taken away.
Anyone who teaches men to disobey the plain commandments of the apostles cannot be guided by the same Holy Spirit that inspired them to proclaim these commandments. The same Holy Spirit which led an apostle to proclaim truth will not lead anyone else to ignore or to disobey that truth.
Any attempt to add to, or subtract from, the words of the apostles, or to substitute other teaching in the place of their teaching, is not of God. Satan had no opportunity to corrupt the truth as it proceeded from the Father to the Son, or from the Son to the apostles. But his opportunity arrived when the apostles began proclaiming the gospel to mankind as they preached. “Those by the wayside are they that hear; then cometh the devil and takes away the word out of their hearts, lest they should believe and be saved.” (Luke 8:12)
The Apostles’ Exercise of Judgment
The apostles are administering the authority of God even today, through the written word of God which they wrote under divine inspiration. They began administering that authority on the Day of Pentecost. Their first judgment was, “These men are not drunk as you suppose, but this is that spoken of by the prophet Joel…” (Acts 2:15-16) The world’s judgment, that “these men are full of new wine”, was wrong; the apostles’ judgment was correct.
The apostles’ second judgment was, “This same Jesus whom ye have taken with wicked hand and slain, God has raised up and made both Lord and Christ.” (Acts 2:23-24) Their third judgment was concerning convicted sinners, “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ unto remission of sins.” (Acts 2:38)
Thus, in all their sermons and writings they delivered judgments for spiritual Israel which stand as authoritative today as when first delivered. There is nothing that is essential to the well being of Christian believers that has not been a subject for the apostles’ judgment. They are ambassadors of Christ. God acted through them and they represent Christ. “As though God did beseech you by us, we pray in Christ’s place, be ye reconciled to God.” (2 Cor. 5:20)
From the Apostles to Us - Lines of Authority
In the previous section, the transmission of divine authority to human beings is marked out in three phases: (1) God delegated all authority on earth to the Son, Jesus Christ; (2) the Son delegated teaching authority to the apostles; and (3) the apostles wrote authoritatively concerning the uses of and submission to authority on the part of believers of the church age.
Thus, every standard for the administration of authority over human beings by other people is derived from the teachings of the apostles as recorded in the Bible. The apostles wrote with the delegated power of God and were divinely inspired and controlled by the Holy Spirit of God, we are obliged to give absolute obedience to instructions from the Bible.
Three types of delegated authority are described in this section: (1) authority in human society; (2) ecclesiastical (local church) authority; and (3) parental authority. By careful study of the scripture passages related to these topics, a believer should be able to gain a great deal of discernment into the problems of proper response to authority.
Authority in Human Society
The teachings of the Bible indicate that established civil authority is to be obeyed explicitly except where such obedience would cause the believer to deviate from direct Bible teaching. That is to say, God does not delegate any authority that would allow someone to overrule His expressed commands or to compromise a divine principle. The statement of Christ, “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s” (Matthew 22:21) bears out this principle.
Bible References to Specific Types of Authority
The authority of the rulers of federal, state, and local government: Rom. 12; 1 Tim. 2.
The authority of a judge on the bench: 1 Cor. 6:1-8.
The authority of a business owner or executive: Col. 3; Eph. 5; 1 Tim. 6.
The authority of an athletic coach: 1 Cor. 9:24-27.
The authority of the military chain of command: Matt. 8:8-10.
See the following passages also for references to the concept of authority in many areas of human society:
Matt. 22:19-21; 17:25‑27
1 Pet. 2:13-18
1 Cor. 7:21-24
Eph. 6:5-9
1 Tim. 6:1, 2
Deut. 17:12, 13
Rom. 13:1-7.
Ecclesiastical Authority
Scripture references to local church authority are found in Titus 1:5-16; 2:15–3:2; 1 Tim. 3:1-7; Matt. 16:16-19; 18:18, 19.
Spiritual leaders are not elected, hired or appointed. They emerge. As the child of God experiences the development of his spiritual gifts, these gifts are recognized by others in the body of Christ. He will be given a place in which to exercise his gifts.
In Acts 6:1-7, for example, it can be seen that the first deacons were recognized as spiritually minded and filled with the Holy Spirit. These attributes of personal character, the results of years of growth as believers, were evident in these men’s lives. They emerged as leaders. The vote taken was merely an agreement that the majority of the local body recognized the mature lives of these men. There may have been others who coveted places of leadership. But such others were not recognized. The chosen deacons were selected to serve, not to be served. Nevertheless, in serving they did great works.
In becoming part of a local church, a Christian tacitly approves of the leadership structure of that church. By remaining with that congregation, he signifies that he accepts the pastoral teaching authority and the leadership of others in authority. The Bible commands submission to local church authority.
1 Peter 5:5, “Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble.”
To submit means to recognize the chain of command and to refrain from undermining that authority. This is a command to all believers; and nearly all trouble in local churches comes from the violation of this principle. The troublemakers in a church are those who undermine authority by criticism, by conspiracies or by other methods. It is the duty of the pastor teacher to guard against this and to nip it in the bud. The early Christians willingly placed themselves under the leadership of the pastor and deacons because they were known to be ordained of God and that one could profit from their guidance and leadership.
Parental Authority - Chain of Command
Case Study No. 1
A twenty-one year old girl returned home with an engagement ring and her boy friend in tow. After meeting and conversing with the young man, the parents told their daughter in private that they did not approve of her marrying this person at this time and that she should wait for a year or two. They stated their belief the marriage will not work and this fellow is not for you. The daughter argued that she felt that the Lord had brought they two of them together and that since they were both Christians it would be all right to marry right away.
What would be the correct answer in counseling with this young woman? Should she:
Go ahead with her marriage plans if she thinks it is the Lord’s will for her, or
Follow her parents’ wishes and wait until they give approval?
Case Study No. 2
An eighteen year old Christian young man announced to his unsaved father that the Lord had called him into the ministry and that he was thinking of going to Bible school to prepare for the pastorate. The father was strictly against such a move, and he advised his son to enter university instead, to prepare for a vocation. He told his son that he should have a profession to fall back on in case he should fail in the ministry. He wanted his son to get his college degree first; then, if he still wanted to be a pastor, he could pursue that career.
What advice should be given to the son in this case? Should he:
Follow his father’s wishes and enter the university, or
Follow his own desires and go to bible school?
Case Study No. 3
A teenage girl wanted to attend a certain Bible teaching church, but her mother refused to allow this. So the girl began to attend secretly as often as she could. Her mother found out and was very angry. She told her daughter that she should be at home attending to her chores around the house instead of spending so much time with those kids.
Should the teenage girl:
Continue to attend Bible sessions secretly in order to get good teaching, or
obey her mother’s wishes?
The answer in all three cases above is: respect the parent’s wishes! The following section describes the reasons for this answer.
The Biblical Basis for a Child’s Absolute Submission
The following commands from scripture indicate the extent to which God has committed Himself to working with children through their parents. Notice the spiritual condition and personality of the parent are not listed as conditions to obedience of these commands.
Eph. 6:1-3, “The right thing for you to do is to obey your parents as those whom the Lord has set over you. Honor your father and mother … that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”
Col. 3:20, “Obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”
Prov. 6:20-23, “My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother; bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou wakest, it shall talk with thee; for the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; the reproofs of instruction are the way of life.”
The Focus of Response is the Lord, not the Parent
Part of God’s purpose for placing parents in authority is to teach obedience to Himself. God is able to accomplish His purposes in our lives through those He places in authority over us, regardless of whether they are good leaders.
The Lord has beautiful and significant plans for those who love and respect Him (Mal. 3:16, 17). We will be His jewels; we will be treated as the sons of God. When a young person reacts against the tools of authority that God has place in his life, he is reacting against God Himself. Severe warnings are given in the Bible about this.
Prov. 30:17, “The eye that mocketh at his father and despises to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.”
Heb. 12:5-6, “… My son, regard not lightly the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art reproved of him: for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.”
Essential Insights in Identifying God as the Source of Authority
In order to properly identify the hand of God in the authority which is exercised over us, several insights are necessary.
We must learn to differentiate between position and personality. One of the first objections to obeying authority is, “I can not respect the one I am supposed to obey.” But it is possible to respect a person’s position of authority while at the same time being aware of character deficiencies which need correction.
A teenager might way, “Why should I listen to my parents? They tell me not to do certain things, but they go out and do the same things themselves!” But this young person fails to distinguish between his parents’ position and their character. The young man would be quick to see the error of his line of reasoning if his friend stated, “They other day I got stopped for speeding, but the policeman has such a bad personality that I tore up the ticket.”
Some say, “My parents do not even try to understand me, so why should I listen to them?” Here again, there is a failure to distinguish between position and personality. It is more important that the young person understand what God is trying to accomplish than that his parents understand him. God knows that those He places in authority will have character deficiencies? But He is able to work in spite of these deficiencies.
Psalm 76:10, “Surely the wrath of man shall praise Thee; …”
Prov. 16:7, “When a man’s ways please the Lord, He maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.”
See also 1 Peter 2:18-20.
God can develop mature attitudes through His use of authority. He can use those who are the hardest to get along with to motivate us to develop mature attitudes. In each of the three case studies which are described above, the parent in authority detected an immature attitude on the part of the young person.
In Case Study No. 1, the marriage was disapproved because the parents detected underlying attitudes in both their daughter and her fiancé which would have made them incompatible in marriage. Each has a negative attitude of self will. Each expected to be the center of the stage. Neither had learned submission to authority. They had no concept of deference to one another or regard for the wishes of the other. Proper attitudes could be learned by the young people, if they would follow the advice to wait.
In Case Study No. 2, the father detected in his son attitudes of ungratefulness, stubbornness and insensitivity to the feelings of others. Even though he was not a believer, the father realized that these attitudes would cause his son to fail in the ministry. The fact that his father had some apprehension of his son’s failure in the ministry should have been a significant warning to the son that he might be wrong.
In Case Study No. 3, the teenaged girl, by responding properly to her mother would allow her mother to see that her old attitudes had changed as a result of attending the church, and she would be advancing the most powerful argument for her mother to allow her to continue attending the church.
God’s concern is that our attitudes become consistent with those of His Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus was subject to the authority of His parents as He was growing up. Because of this response, He grew in wisdom, stature,and in favor with God and man. He “humbled himself and became obedient…” (Phil. 2:8)
Discerning Basic Intentions
The basic intentions of those in authority must be discerned. Daniel “purposed that he would not defile himself with the king’s meat.” (Daniel 1:8) Yet the authorities were not trying to make him violate his convictions; they were genuinely concerned about his appearance before the king. Daniel was in the right frame of mind to help the officer in charge work out a compromise.
In Case Study No. 1, the basic intentions of the parents who disapproved their daughter’s marriage were not to restrict her happiness but rather to help her achieve a lasting happiness. They intended to pass on to her the insights and lessons which they had learned, sometimes the hard way. They intended for her to avoid a lot of future complications which they knew would occur if she made the wrong choice in marriage. They intended to derive pleasure and joy from their daughter’s happy marriage.
In Case Study No. 2, the basic intention of the father for the son was not to talk him out of the ministry but to provide him with the tools for being successful in life. He intended to use the boy’s college education to build mature attitudes in his son. He wanted to be proud of his son’s achievements. He intended to rest in the fact that his son was building security in his vocation. He intended that his son be grateful and appreciative for what he had done for him. He intended to keep a channel of communication open so that his son would be responsive in the future.
In Case Study No. 3, the basic intentions of the teenage girl’s mother were not to stop the girl from going to church, but to develop obedience toward her parents. This obedience involved assuming responsibilities around the house rather than running off all the time. The mother observed that some of her daughter’s friends were not obeying their parents and often condemned their parents for not being spiritual. She did not want her daughter to develop these attitudes and practices.
Developing Creative Alternatives
Creative alternatives can be developed. Mature attitudes, along with insight into basic intentions, prepare the way for the development of creative alternatives or compromises. Daniel worked out an alternative which would not violate his moral convictions. As you read the study in the book of Daniel, notice the respect, the creativity and the careful choice of wording in Daniel’s request. He asked to be given a chance to show he was right; but he expressed his willingness to obey the officer in any case.
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