1. Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Train up a child. This proverb, founded on the covenant with Abraham (cf. Gen. 18:19), encourages parents to “train” (i.e., to “dedicate” or “initiate”; this is the sense of the word in Deut. 20:5; cf. Ezra 6:16) their children in the way (i.e., the right moral orientation) by pointing to the kinds of conduct that please or displease the Lord, and to the normal outcome of each kind of conduct. The training will include love and instruction as well as “the rod of discipline” (Prov. 22:15).
2. Psalm 127:3–5
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
The Blessedness of Children. Like the first section, this does not eliminate human activity: children are a heritage from the LORD, and therefore his gift, and yet husband and wife must do something in bringing the children into the world and in raising them to be faithful members of God’s people. Here the stress falls on the children of one’s youth, now grown up and standing with their father when he speaks with his enemies in the gate(i.e., the place where justice was administered. It will be hard for the enemies (who are assumed to be unfaithful) to intimidate such a man.
Children. The second family relationship illustrating submission to proper authority (Eph. 5:21) is that of children and parents. The Mosaic law prescribed death for the child who struck or cursed a parent (Ex. 21:15, 17; Lev. 20:9), and Paul lists such disobedience as one of many grave sins (Rom. 1:30; 2 Tim. 3:2). However, Paul urges in Eph. 6:1–3 the positive duty of children to obey their parents. Obedience is due to both parents; the mother’s submission to her husband does not remove her parental dignity but rather increases it. In the Lordmodifies the verb “obey.” right. What makes such obedience “right” or “just” is that it conforms to God’s holy commandment, quoted in Eph 6:2–3.
Honor. Children obeying their parents (Eph. 6:1) is in part how they honor them; see also Prov. 31:28, which describes children rising to bless a wise and godly mother. promise. There were earlier commands of God with promises (e.g., Gen. 17:1–2), but this is the first and only of the Ten Commandments to contain a promise (see also Ex. 20:12). In the new covenant the promise of the land is not physical land on earth but eternal life, which begins when one is regenerated here and now and comes to full reality in the age to come. Paul is not teaching salvation on the basis of works. The obedience of children is evidence that they know God, and it results in receiving blessings from God.
Fathers. As earlier, Paul begins his admonition with a negative action to avoid, followed by a positive action to develop. Paul addresses the responsibility of fathers in particular, though this does not diminish the contribution of mothers in these areas (see Proverbs 31). provoke … to anger. Obedient children are particularly vulnerable, so a domineering and thoughtless father’s actions would be discouraging to them (Col. 3:21). bring them up. Parents play a crucial, God-ordained role in the discipleship of their children “in the Lord” (Eph. 6:1); see Deut. 6:1–9. Parental discipleship in the discipline and instruction of the Lord should center on the kinds of practices already outlined in Ephesians 4–5.
4. Deuteronomy 6:5–9
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
love.* Deut. 4:37. all. That the Lord alone is Israel’s God leads to the demand for Israel’s exclusive and total devotion to him. heart … soul … might.** All Israelites in their total being are to love the Lord; “this is the great and first commandment” (Matt. 22:38). In Matt. 22:37, Mark 12:30, and Luke 10:27, Jesus also includes “mind.” In early Hebrew, “heart” included what we call the “mind”. “Might” indicates energy and ability.
on your heart. Cf. Deut 4:39. The demand is for a heart that totally loves the Lord. Deuteronomy anticipates the new covenant, when God’s words will be truly and effectively written on the heart (Jer. 31:31–34; also Deut. 30:6–8).
The two pairs of opposites (sit/walk, lie down/rise) suggest any and every time, place, and activity. bind them … write them. Many Jews have fulfilled these commands literally with phylacteries (v. 8) and mezuzot (v. 9), i.e., boxes bound on the arm and forehead or attached to doorposts containing vv. 4–5 and other Scripture verses.
5. Hebrews 12:7–11
*It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
exhortation that addresses you as sons. God is viewed as speaking through the proverb; God’s discipline proves that He considers believers to be His sons (on sonship, see Heb. 2:10), since God chastises every son whom He receives (Heb. 12:6; see Heb. 12:7–8). Discipline (Gk. paideia) was a common term for childrearing through instruction, training, and correction; however, here Hebrews focuses on the call for perseverance (endure in Heb. 12:7) in the painful tests of life (Heb. 12: 11). These tests are to their benefit, prove their sonship, and require a response of perseverance. The readers, then, should not be discouraged.
This lesser-to-greater analogy from the readers’ own childhood training shows that it is appropriate for the heavenly Father to discipline, and it calls for a response of respect and submission; as a loving Father, the Lord always disciplines His children for their good.
6. 1 Timothy 5:8
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
worse than an unbeliever. Provision for one’s own family is a spiritual issue of utmost importance. Failure to live out the gospel in this way is tantamount to a denial of the faith.
7. Psalm 103:13
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
God is a Father to His people as a whole (Ex. 4:22–23), and to the particular faithful members (Prov. 3:12). Of course many human fathers fail to embody this idea; this image assumes that biblically informed people have an intuition of what fathers ideally should be like. But it also serves as a goal for faithful fathers: they will seek more and more to be the kind of father who shows compassion to His children.
8. Exodus 20:12
Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
Honor your father and your mother.The word “honor” means to treat someone with the proper respect due to the person and their role. With regard to parents, this means (1) treating them with deference (cf. Ex. 21:15, 17); (2) providing for them and looking after them in their old age (for this sense of honor, see Prov. 3:9). Both Jesus and Paul underline the importance of this command (Mark 7:1–13; Eph. 6:1–3; 1 Tim. 5:4). This is the only one of the Ten Commandments with a specific promise attached to it: that your days may be long—meaning not just a long life, but one that is filled with God’s presence and favor.
9. Colossians 3:20–21
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Paul’s words to children reflect the fifth commandment (Ex. 20:12). do not provoke your children. Men are urged to restrain their anger and any other attitudes that can embitter their children (cf. Eph. 6:4), lest they despair of pleasing their parents.
10. Proverbs 17:6
Grandchildren are the crown of the aged,
and the glory of children is their fathers.
Families depend on one another for their identity and joy. Both young and old should cherish their intergenerational relationships Children. The second family relationship illustrating submission to proper authority (Eph. 5:21) is that of children and parents. The Mosaic law prescribed death for the child who struck or cursed a parent (Ex. 21:15, 17; Lev. 20:9), and Paul lists such disobedience as one of many grave sins (Rom. 1:30; 2 Tim. 3:2). However, Paul urges in Eph. 6:1–3 the positive duty of children to obey their parents. Obedience is due to both parents; the mother’s submission to her husband does not remove her parental dignity but rather increases it. In the Lordmodifies the verb “obey.” right. What makes such obedience “right” or “just” is that it conforms to God’s holy commandment, quoted in Eph 6:2–3.
7. Psalm 103:13
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
God is a Father to His people as a whole (Ex. 4:22–23), and to the particular faithful members (Prov. 3:12). Of course many human fathers fail to embody this idea; this image assumes that biblically informed people have an intuition of what fathers ideally should be like. But it also serves as a goal for faithful fathers: they will seek more and more to be the kind of father who shows compassion to his children.
8. Exodus 20:12
Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
Honor your father and your mother.The word “honor” means to treat someone with the proper respect due to the person and their role. With regard to parents, this means (1) treating them with deference (cf. Ex. 21:15, 17); (2) providing for them and looking after them in their old age (for this sense of honor, see Prov. 3:9). Both Jesus and Paul underline the importance of this command (Mark 7:1–13; Eph. 6:1–3; 1 Tim. 5:4). This is the only one of the Ten Commandments with a specific promise attached to it: that your days may be long—meaning not just a long life, but one that is filled with God’s presence and favor.
9. Colossians 3:20–21
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they be discouraged.
Paul’s words to children reflect the fifth commandment (Ex. 20:12). do not provoke your children. Men are urged to restrain their anger and any other attitudes that can embitter their children (cf. Eph. 6:4), lest they despair of pleasing their parents.
10. Proverbs 17:6
Grandchildren are the crown of the aged,
and the glory of children is their fathers.
Families depend on one another for their identity and joy. Both young and old should cherish their intergenerational relationships.
But the Bible doesn’t offer just examples of parenting through stories; it also gives direct parenting advice. In this advice we find the ideal standard of parenting according to God’s will. Time and again, the Bible urges parents to do three things: treasure their children, teach and correct them, and model for them how to live.
Treasure Your Children
Psalm 127:3 declares, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”2 Children are, first and foremost, a reward—a blessing. It’s easy to see our children as blessings when they’re little. But the Bible says that as they grow older (and beyond that adorable phase) we are to continue to treasure them, even when it’s not as easy.
Treasuring our children means we must not parent with cruelty, overcorrection, or unduly harsh discipline. Such treatment can cause our children to become bitter and resentful. Colossians 3:21 urges us, “Parents, do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged.”3 As parents, it is our job to make sure our children feel supported and loved.
However, this isn’t to imply that the Bible doesn’t urge parents to teach and correct their children. After a summary of God’s law given to the Israelites, Deuteronomy 6:7 instructs, “Impress [God’s commandments] on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”4
Parents are to impart knowledge of godly, righteous living to our children. And NOT LIE. This should be the foundation of our teachings to them. Proverbs 22:6 explains the importance of this: “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” We want to instill in our children a sense of righteous living that will carry them through to adulthood.
To do this, parents are encouraged to teach and correct children through careful, gentle discipline. Scripture tells us that God disciplines his children (meaning all believers) out of love: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves.”5
Parents are to follow the example set by God the Father, for discipline gives children a sense of consistency and a guide for right behavior. But it is impossible to overstate the importance of ensuring we discipline our children from a place of love, never out of anger. We discipline our children to improve their long-term quality of life, not to vent our emotions. Finally, the Bible urges parents to model for their children everything they teach them. Essentially, as the old adage goes, we need to practice what we preach. The book of Titus explains what Christians are to do: “In everything set . . . an example by doing what is good. In your teaching, show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech.”7
If we do not act the way we want our children to act, our words will be worthless. Children become what they see, so we must show them what we want them to become. If you want your child to live a life according to certain standards, you yourself must do so first. Godly standards raise godly children. Mercy, forgiveness, grace and judgment are huge pieces of any calling in Christ, especially as a parent.
Proverbs 29:15 A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.
Discipline is key to raising well-rounded kids. Parents must instill values that shape their children into responsible adults.
Proverbs 29:15 highlights the importance of discipline, stating it leads to wisdom, while a lack of it results in shame.
Discipline teaches children to make smart choices. Setting boundaries is vital. Kids must grasp expectations and consequences.
Proverbs 10:17 emphasizes the importance of guidance, which helps children thrive. Clear expectations enable them to follow a successful path.
Wisdom and discipline are interconnected.
When kids learn from mistakes and receive correction, they develop a deeper understanding of their surroundings.
Proverbs 19:18 underlines the importance of discipline for a hopeful future. It cultivates wise adults who contribute to society.
Undisciplined kids face dire consequences.
Adam and Eve’s disobedience in Genesis 3 is a prime example. Their sin led to tragic events, including Abel’s murder by Cain.
This story demonstrates the significance of teaching children obedience and respect.
Balancing discipline and love is crucial. Children need correction, but also love, understanding, and compassion.
Discipline without love breeds resentment, while love without discipline fosters entitlement.
Striking this balance is essential for raising well-adjusted kids.
In summary, discipline is indispensable for nurturing wise, responsible children. Establishing boundaries and expectations helps develop their wisdom.
Biblical teachings on discipline provide valuable guidance for parents, emphasizing the importance of balancing discipline with love.
Proverbs 13:24- Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
Proverbs 13:24 highlights the vital role of discipline in parenting.
In essence, this verse underscores the value of expressing parental love through discipline.
A key aspect of raising children is building trust. Loving discipline fosters that trust.
By consistently setting boundaries and enforcing consequences, parents show they’re reliable and trustworthy.
This security helps children form a healthy relationship with their parents, rooted in love and respect.
Discipline also conveys care.
Guiding children and setting boundaries reveal genuine concern for their well-being.
Hebrews 12:6-7 supports this idea: “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”
Earthly parents, like God, show love by directing children, aiding their growth in wisdom and character.
A healthy parent-child relationshipdepends on discipline. It must be carried out with love and understanding. Striking this balance strengthens the bond.
Proverbs 29:17 confirms this: “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace.”
Through loving discipline, parents create a nurturing environment where children can thrive.
Overindulgence in parenting can hinder a child’s development. Giving in to every demand and failing to set boundaries can result in entitled children lacking self-discipline.
Following Proverbs 13:24 helps parents avoid this and raise responsible, respectful individuals.
Most importantly, Consistency is crucial in discipline.
By upholding standards and implementing consequences, parents instill responsibility and accountability.
Inconsistent discipline creates confusion and insecurity, making it hard for children to grasp expectations.
But a steadfast approach fosters a stable environment for growth and learning.
The story of Abraham and Sarah (Genesis 21:1-21) showcases mixed parenting.
Abraham’s strong faith inspired his children, but Sarah’s impatience led to family strife.
This tale emphasizes the need for parents to be united when raising children. A harmonious, faith-based environment promotes spiritual growth.
In conclusion, Proverbs 13:24 and related Scriptures emphasize the importance of loving discipline in raising well-rounded children.
Consistent, caring discipline builds trust, expresses love, and fosters healthy relationships.
Avoiding overindulgence and maintaining unity as parents create a flourishing environment for children, both emotionally and spiritually.
3. Psalm 127:2-5- Children are a heritage from the Lord,offspring a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warriorare children born in one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the manwhose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shamewhen they contend with their opponents in court.
Parenting is a remarkable privilege and a significant responsibility.
The Bible guides parents on this sacred journey. Psalm 127:2-5 emphasizes seeing children as God’s blessings.
The Psalmist calls them a divine reward (Psalm 127:3), reminding parents they’re partnering with God to nurture and shape their little ones.
Prioritizing family life is vital for parents.
Creating a loving environment allows children to thrive.
Psalm 128:1-6 reveals that a happy, harmonious home blesses those who follow the Lord.
Parents’ caring guidance is key to their children’s well-being.
Understanding parenting as a divine partnership provides purpose and direction.
Parents must build a strong foundation by teaching faith.
Psalm 139:13-16 shows God knows each person intimately, even before birth.
So, through God’s help, parents can play a crucial role in helping children fulfill their unique purpose.
The story of Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 25:19-34 and 27:1-46) warns against favoritism.
Isaac favored Esau, while Rebekah preferred Jacob. This led to deception, rivalry, and bitterness, ultimately fracturing their family.
The story highlights the importance of fair and loving treatment, fostering unity and belonging.
Parents’ choices shape their children’s future.
Isaac and Rebekah’s story demonstrates how parenting affects relationships and well-being. Considering the long-term impact of choices is essential.
Gratitude for the gift of children is crucial in parenting. Recognizing them as God’s blessings helps parents appreciate their role.
This encourages cherishing time with children and facing challenges with love, patience, and wisdom.
In conclusion, the Bible offers valuable guidance for raising children. Psalm 127:2-5, Psalm 128:1-6, and Psalm 139:13-16 stress recognizing children as divine gifts, prioritizing family life, and building a strong foundation.
Isaac and Rebekah’s story cautions against favoritism and highlights parents’ role in shaping children’s futures.
Embracing gratitude for children enriches the parenting journey, assisting parents in their sacred role as God’s partners in raising the next generation.
-Colossians 3:21- Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Raising children requires a mix of authority and compassion, with understanding and empathy at the heart of healthy relationships.
Colossians 3:21 teaches parents to avoid harshness and discouragement, as these can dishearten children.
Instead, this verse urges parents to foster their children’s self-esteem and sense of worth through loving communication.
Ephesians 6:4 supports Colossians 3:21, highlighting the need for a balanced upbringing.
Parents should not provoke their children to anger but guide them with the Lord’s discipline and instruction.
By cultivating a respectful and understanding environment, children can grow and thrive spiritually.
Proverbs 15:1 reveals the impact of a parent’s words and actions on a child’s character. It conveys that gentle answers deflect wrath, while harsh words ignite anger.
This wisdom encourages parents to treat their children with gentleness and understanding, preventing resentment and promoting healthy communication.
Mindful word choices and actions create an environment where childrenfeel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.
Genesis 29-30 and 37 recount Jacob’s story, serving as a cautionary tale about favoritism in parenting.
Jacob’s preference for his son Joseph caused jealousy and discord among his other children.
This hostility led to Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers.
Jacob’s story emphasizes the need for fair and impartial treatment of each child.
Favoritism can create resentment, harming the emotional well-being of both favored and less-favored children.
By nurturing each child’s unique abilities, parents can establish harmony and mutual respect.
In conclusion, the Bible offers valuable guidance on raising children with understanding, empathy, and compassion.
Parents should aim for a balanced environment that encourages open communication, avoids harsh treatment, and prevents favoritism.
By nurturing their children’s self-esteem and sense of worth, parents help them become emotionally healthy individuals.
Following these principles allows parents to mirror God’s love in their parenting, building a solid foundation for their children’s growth and development.
By guiding our children in righteousness, cultivating faith and values, and embracing intergenerational faith, we can positively impact their relationship with God and build a lasting spiritual legacy.
Let’s follow Abraham’s example and create homes filled with faith, love, and godly wisdom.
-Deut. 6:7- Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Nurturing our children’s faith begins by teaching them God’s commandments. Parents have the responsibility to instill biblical values in their children.
Deuteronomy 6:7 captures this beautifully: “Impress them on your children. This verse highlights the need to incorporate God’s Word into daily life and provide constant spiritual guidance.
Deuteronomy 11:18-19 strengthens this message, urging parents to embody God’s commandments while educating their children. This passage motivates us to embrace these teachings in our thoughts, feelings, and daily actions.
Proverbs 4:1-4 underlines the importance of passing wisdom and guidance down to the next generation. It spotlights the role of parents as their children’s foremost spiritual mentors, actively fostering their spiritual development.
In contrast, the story of Samuel in 1 Samuel 8:1-5 serves as a warning. Samuel’s sons, Joel and Abijah, were corrupt judges, suggesting a failure in their upbringing.
This example reminds us that even the most devout servants of God can face parenting challenges.
A strong foundation of faith requires unwavering spiritual instruction for our children. Make teaching God’s Word a priority, incorporate it into daily routines, and exemplify a faithful life for them to emulate.
This approach enables children to cultivate a profound, personal relationship with God and provides them with spiritual resources for life’strials.
Deuteronomy 6:7 and related scriptures stress the significance of making God’s Word a part of our children’s everyday lives. As parents, we are called to consistently offer spiritual instruction and instill biblical values.
The story of Samuel and his sons cautions us against taking this responsibility lightly. By being attentive and purposeful in our parenting, we can foster our children’s faith and help them become resolute followers of God.
Proverbs 23:13- Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.
Parenting is a remarkable journey, filled with joys and challenges. One essential aspect of raising well-rounded children is the practice of discipline.
Proverbs 23:13 highlights the importance of discipline in a child’s upbringing. While it may sound harsh, it emphasizes guiding children with love and wisdom.
It’s crucial to differentiate between discipline and punishment. Discipline teaches and corrects, promoting positive behavior and character growth.
Punishment, on the other hand, inflicts pain or discomfort as a consequence. Biblical discipline focuses on lovingly correcting children to understand right from wrong.
Proverbs 22:15 explains that children are prone to making poor choices. It’s the parents’ responsibility to guide them towards wisdom. By addressing negative behaviors early, parents can help their children develop a strong moral compass.
Proverbs 29:15 emphasizes the importance of consistent discipline and the consequences of neglecting it. Proper guidance helps children learn important lessons, promoting their growth and development.
Discipline is about molding character, teaching self-control, responsibility, and respect for authority. By understanding biblical discipline’s purpose, parents can provide the tools their children need to thrive.
King David’s story exemplifies the consequences of a lack of discipline. Despite being a man after God’s heart, his personal failures led to significant family dysfunction. David’s adultery and Uriah’s murder led to a sequence of tragic events.
David’s lack of discipline led to Amnon raping Tamar, and later, Amnon’s murder by Absalom. Absalom’s rebellion, fueled by David’s failures, resulted in his own demise.
David’s story serves as a sobering reminder of discipline’s importance in parenting. By addressing issues early and with love, parents can help their children develop into mature and responsible adults. Balancing correction with understanding and empathy is essential, guiding children with wisdom and grace.
In conclusion, discipline is critical for raising well-rounded children. By differentiating between discipline and punishment, parents can focus on lovingly correcting their children with wisdom. Early intervention in behavioral issues and understanding biblical discipline’s purpose leads to strong character development. Embracing the responsibility of discipline positively influences children’s growth, setting them on a path toward a fruitful and fulfilling life.
8. Ephesians 6:1-4
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1-4 offers vital guidance on parenting from a biblical viewpoint. The passage stresses the importanceof obedience and respect between parents and children. Children should honor their parents, and parents should lovingly and wisely raise their children.
Children should obey their parents, knowing that honoring them is a key part of spiritual growth. This obedience is an act of love and faith, acknowledging that parents have their best interests in mind. As they honor their parents, children can expect blessings and a long life.
Parents have the critical job of teaching obedience and helping their children grow in wisdom, understanding, and faith. They should guide their children in the Lord’s ways, fostering a strong spiritual foundation. Colossians 3:20-21reminds parents not to provoke their children to anger or discouragement, ensuring a balanced, compassionate approach to discipline and instruction.
Proverbs 1:8-9 highlights the importance of parental wisdom and guidance. Children should listen to their parents’ teachings and cherish their wisdom. By instilling biblical values and principles, parents empower their children to face life’s challenges with purpose and direction.
Obedience and respect foster trust and understanding within the family. Parents who model Christlike character and humility create an environment where children grow in love and respect. Balancing parental authority and children’s autonomy leads to strong, healthy relationships that reflect God’s love and plan for families.
Solomon’s story in 1 Kings 1-11 is a cautionary tale for parents. He was famous for his wisdom and initially followed God by building a temple in Jerusalem. However, Solomon’s many wives led him to idolatry and away from God’s path. This negatively affected his parenting, as his children inherited a divided kingdom and perpetuated a cycle of disobedience and rebellion.
Solomon’s story reminds parents to remain steadfast in their faith and to model a godly example for their children. Parental choices significantly impact their children’s spiritual development.
In conclusion, Ephesians 6:1-4highlights the importance of fostering obedience, respect, and honor in parent-child relationships, emphasizing parents’ responsibility to guide their children in God’s ways for spiritual growth and strong family bonds.
9. Deuteronomy 11:19
Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Deuteronomy 11:19 urges parents to weave spiritual teachings into daily life. This is key in raising children. The verse highlights how vital it is for kids to be surrounded by God’s Word. This helps them develop a deep bond with the Creator.
Living a faith-filled life is crucial for parents. It shows children the impact of their beliefs. When we act with kindness, compassion, and integrity, kids see faith’s transformative power. We offer real-life examples of how to practice faith.
Encouraging kids to think about God’s Word is vital for spiritual parenting. Parents can guide them in pondering Bible passages and relating them to their lives. This helps children grow in wisdom, discernment, and build a personal bond with God’s Word.
Spiritual conversations are powerful. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 emphasizes the need to discuss God’s commandments with our kids. By talking openly about faith, we create a safe space for children to explore their beliefs. Such conversations lay a solid foundation for spiritual growth.
Job’s life shows the importance of nurturing love for God. Job 1:1-5describes Job as a righteous man who offered sacrifices for his children. His actions reveal his spiritual concern for them. Job’s unwavering faith in adversity influenced his children.
2 Timothy 3:14-15 highlights the impact of a faith-based upbringing. Timothy, mentored by his mother and grandmother, learned the Scriptures from a young age. Their dedication equipped him for his ministry.
In summary, Deuteronomy 11:19reminds parents to instill spiritual teachings in their children’s lives. By living out faith, encouraging reflection, having spiritual conversations, and exposing children to God’s Word, we can cultivate a lasting love for God. The lives of Job, Eunice, and Lois show how such parenting shapes children’s character and leaves a lasting legacy.
10. Proverbs 22:6
Start children off on the way they should go,and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6 underlines the importance of early spiritual guidance in a child’s life. It teaches us that instilling values during childhood has a lasting impact. As parents, creating a solid spiritual foundation is crucial for guiding children towards a faith-centered life.
Childhood experiences play a vital role in shaping lifelong faith. Children exposed to consistent biblical teachings are more likely to embrace those values as adults. In 2 Timothy 3:15, Paul praises Timothy’s mother and grandmother for teaching him the Scriptures early on, preparing him for leadership in the early church.
Isaiah 54:13 also stresses the value of spiritual guidance at home. It encourages parents to rely on God’s wisdom in raising their children and trust in His promise of peace when they follow His path.
Hannah’s story in 1 Samuel 1-2showcases the power of dedicated, prayerful parenting. She fervently prayed for a child, promising to dedicate him to the Lord’s service. God answered her prayer, and she gave birth to Samuel. He became a great prophet and judge in Israel, displaying the positive impact of a devoted parent prioritizing a child’s spiritual upbringing.
Parents have both the honor and challenge of shaping a child’s spiritual foundation. It demands intention, consistency, and patience. Living out the values they want their children to adopt is essential. By modeling Christlike behavior, they create a godly environment for their children to grow in faith.
In summary, Proverbs 22:6 reminds parents of the long-lasting impact of raising children with a strong spiritual foundation. Consistently teaching biblical values, nurturing a godly home environment, and embodying Christlike behavior ensures children become adults of faith and wisdom. Prioritizing spiritual upbringing allows parents to trust that their efforts will shape their children into godly individuals who positively impact the world.
After first commanding children to obey their parents, Paul then gives fathers1two commands: one negative and one positive. The negative command is for fathers not to provoke (parorgizo) their children. In other words, he was telling fathers not to do what discourages their children (see Colossians 3:21). How do we as fathers tend to do this? Well, it can be through many different things, such as being overprotective of them, never trusting them, mocking the decisions they make, depriving them of any freedom, pushing over-realistic achievement on them, and pressuring them to excel in things like sports or academics. Children tend to become bitter in trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. What we should be doing as fathers is giving our child wisdom and input, teaching them to make wise decisions and encouraging them when they make mistakes.
What we should be doing as fathers is giving our child wisdom and input, teaching them to make wise decisions and encouraging them when they make mistakes.
Paul then gives fathers a positive command to bring children up (as this is not something they will do themselves) in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. The Greek word for “bring” (ektrepho) means “to nourish up to maturity” (see Ephesians 5:29). Our intention in bringing up our children is that we nourish them in the instruction of the Lord so that they become mature in the faith.
Discipline
The discipline (paideia) Paul has in mind here is for an “instructional” or “educational” purpose. Whereas our culture would tell us that the reason our children rebel is that they lack self-esteem, the Scriptures tell us that they are sinners and in need of a saviour. Biblical discipline starts by recognizing that our children are not born into the world innocent and then warped and distorted by bad parents or the society around us, but that they are born in sin(Psalm 51:5). We should not be sentimental about human nature, especially that of our own children. I know people think, “I just can’t accept that negative view of human nature,” because even Christians can think we are good people deep down when we are anything but (see Romans 3:1–26; Ephesians 2:1-10). Yet, if we fail to discipline our children because of too much sentimentality, there will be consequences, as Eli found out with his sons (1 Samuel 2:27–36).
Although, we are called to discipline our children, discipline must not be confused with anger, as “[T]he anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:20); rather, discipline is about love (Proverbs 3:11–12). Though not all children are equally rebellious or need the same amount of discipline, the Bible gives us wisdom in how to discipline a child (Proverbs 22:15). This is not a promise that every disciplined child will not stray into the folly of sin, but there is great success when we follow the wisdom given in God’s Word. There are also warnings if we do not follow this disciplinary wisdom (Proverbs 13:24, 29:15).
Instruction
The reason children need instruction (nouthesia) is that they will not naturally obey their parents. Obedience must be taught to them. We must remember that because of their sinful nature, children are naturally rebellious and need to be confronted with the instruction of God’s Word. Fathers are to take seriously the responsibility of instructing their child as they are responsible for teaching their children (see Proverbs 4; Isaiah 38:19)2. This means that fathers will have to sacrifice their own agenda, plans, or hobbies for their children, or they will end up teaching them that those things are more important than they are.
In instructing our children, we must be purposeful, consistent, and biblical.
In instructing our children, we must be purposeful, consistent, and biblical. For example, we should use the law of God; otherwise, they will be grounded in their own self-righteousness. And if they don’t understand that there is a God who has a righteous law they have violated, they will not fully understand the gospel or why Christ is worthy of our worship (Galatians 3:24).
Just like discipline, instruction should come in the context of love. How are fathers to do this? Instruction is verbal teaching, and one of the greatest examples of this comes in Deuteronomy 6:4–25. Fathers are to teach their children to love God with the whole of their being (6:5none). This means they should be leading by example, using life as a classroom, taking every opportunity to instruct their children—when they sit, walk, lie down, and rise (6:7none). A father should also leave visual reminders of God to their child in order to show them that the Word of God governs the whole of our lives and not just a part of it (6:8-9none). Most of all, fathers are to bring their child to a knowledge of the gospel, warning them about the evil in the world and explaining how and why God redeems people (6:20-23). Fathers who fail to instruct their children with the gospel to fear and love the Lord, have failed to instruct their children.
Exemplary Behavior
In our world today, submission is seen as a negative quality, yet Jesus’ attitude shows us that submission is in fact a positive quality.
The greatest example we can leave our children is Jesus, a child who listened to his parents’ instruction. In Luke 2:39–52, we read a fascinating account of Jesus at the age of 12, going to the temple in Jerusalem for the Feast of Passover with his mother Mary and his legal father Joseph. After the Feast had ended, Mary and Joseph returned to Nazareth, but Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem (Luke 2:43). When Mary and Joseph came back to search for him, they “found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers” (Luke 2:46–47). Mary and Joseph were not interested in the conversation Jesuswas having with the teachers of the Law because they were in “great distress” over his whereabouts (Luke 2:48). Yet Jesus gave them a surprising answer: “And he said to them, ‘Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?’” (Luke 2:49). At this young age of 12, Jesus knew that his true father was not his legal father, Joseph, but his heavenly Father, God. Even though Mary and Joseph did not understand what Jesus had said to them, Jesus“went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them” (Luke 2:51). Then we are told that “Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favour with God and man” (Luke 2:52). As a child, how did Jesus grow in wisdom? By listening to his parents and being submissive to them. This is not a reference to Jesusacting out of his deity. Notice the text is prefixed and suffixed by the fact that Jesus grew in wisdom. As God, Jesusdid not need to grow in wisdom. This account of Jesus as a boy in the temple is clearly a reference to his humanity. Jesus’ willingness to submit himself to his earthly parents shows his commitment to follow the Law of Godand honour his father and mother (Exodus 20:12; cf. Deuteronomy 5:16). In our world today, submission is seen as a negative quality, yet Jesus’ attitude shows us that submission is in fact a positive quality. We need to be teaching our children submission; moreover, we must set an example with this attitude reflected in our own lives as we submit to the instructions for leading our families in the Word of God.
Ever since Adam, no one has had to teach children how to be bad. An innate waywardness and selfishness inherited from Adam infects each child born into this world from a human father and mother. Every child is born in the image of his flawed parents (Genesis 5:3).
3. God expects parents whom He has chosen to be part of His Church to teach their children God’s ways, to do justice and show mercy (Genesis 18:19). They should tell them God’s words daily (Deuteronomy 6:7), and correct them when they go astray (Proverbs).
4. When parents fail to teach or correct their children, God holds them blameworthy for their failure (I Samuel 3:13, I Kings 1:6).
5. Although God does not remove from office parents who do not faithfully correct their children (see above for Eli and David), He does tell churches not to choose elders men whose children are rebellious (Titus 1:6, II Timothy 3:4).
6. Because God has made us living beings with bodies so central to our being that they will one day be resurrected for eternity, we teach our children through physical contact as well as by words and example. Spanking is a legitimate method of correction.
7. Spanking should only be used on a child who has broken a parental rule that he knows he is breaking when he breaks it. Otherwise spanking becomes simply an unpredictable expression of parental exasperation and anger.
8. Rules and expectations of our children should match their age and consequent readiness to learn them.
9. The responsibility for raising children belongs primarily to their parents, but also to their grandparents.
10. The church as a whole, however, also has a duty to teach children in the church. God addresses children directly in His Word read and preached in the church, not just through their fathers and mothers (Ephesians 6:1-3).
11. Civil authorities have a duty to correct children who go badly astray, and their parents should not try to stop authorities from doing so (Deuteronomy 21:18-20).
12. Fathers especially should beware of two faults besides neglect in raising their children: exasperating them (Colossians 3:21), and provoking them to anger (Ephesians 6:4).
13. It requires practical wisdom and knowledge of your own children to avoid exasperating them and provoking them to anger. Playing favorites, demanding more of children than they can do, constantly changing your household rules, or failing to keep your word, even when foolishly given, are some ways of exasperating and provoking children.
14. God commands children to obey father and mother. His family norm includes a father and a mother. Many families, however, do not have both a father and a mother, either through the sin of conceiving and bearing children outside of wedlock, or the sin of divorce, or by the providence of God in the death of a parent. Then the remaining parent, as well as he or she is able to, must fulfill the responsibilities of both father and mother. Those close to such families have a duty to help.
15. God commands children to obey father and mother. Such obedience in the home is the foundation for social order outside of the home, where obedience is owed to other legitimate authorities.
16. God commands children to obey father and mother equally. Children, therefore, should not be allowed to think that the word of either father or mother has more authority than the word of the other.
17. God commands children to obey father and mother. Therefore, father and mother should agree on household rules, which they communicate clearly to their children.
18. God commands children to obey father and mother, but because they have a prior duty to obey God, they must disobey father or mother when told to lie, steal, or commit some other sin.
19. Jesus took infants into His arms and blessed them, and God’s Word addresses children directly in many places and in many ways. Therefore, parents should view their children as morally responsible beings from the earliest age.
20. Because raising children requires practical wisdom in dealing with the endless variety of temperaments and situations, the best source of advice for raising your own children is older parents whose children you respect, not other parents who are failing in the same way that you are failing, and not a book from an “expert” (classic example, Emile, by Rousseau) who may well have failed badly with his own children.
21. Raising children is one of God’s principal means of teaching us how to be like Him, that is, to grow spiritually towards maturity.
22. Raising children includes letting them go when they choose to marry or simply to leave home.
23. In most families, raising children means just that: raising more than one child. As between their children, fathers and mothers should not only resist the temptation to have a favorite child, but also aim at fostering love and respect between their children and a mutual loyalty that will support each throughout life.
24. The frequent sinful attitude of brothers and sisters with each other is rivalry -- for the affections of one or both parents, for success in just about everything, or rivalry even for God’s favor. Because of their frequently intense competition, children may have more influence on the outlooks and ambitions of each other than do their father or mother. Your children are constantly raising each other.
25. Fathers and mothers, therefore, should not ignore, let alone encourage, “normal sibling rivalry.” The rivalry stems from sin, and wise fathers and mothers will oppose it.
26. Fathers and mothers ordinarily give an inheritance to their children, but when fathers and mothers get old and are in need, it is the duty of their children to care for them. That is part of the command to honor father and mother.
27. Fathers and mothers have been raising children for centuries, and in godly and stable families there is much accumulated practical wisdom. For these families, there is little need for “how to” books on childrearing. Books from “experts” who are often applying a particular grand psychological theory often give fathers and mothers bad advice: Benjamin Spock using Freud, many books using behavioral psychology, or recent books trumpeting the new gospel of self esteem. Books using faulty theology will also give bad advice, especially books hinting that if you follow their sage rules your children will reliably turn out the way you wish them to.
28. The accumulated practical “rule of thumb” lessons of the Book of Proverbs and centuries of Christian experience, often best embodied in older believers in your church, are generally a sounder source of advice than how-to-raise-your children books.
29. Arguments over how to school your children are overdone. All children are home schooled or they can’t be schooled anywhere. Raising children is the job of parents, so other parents and the church should let them do that without having to contend with assertive contrary opinions. We will each answer to Christ.
30. Do you wish to see your children and children’s children know and serve the Lord? Then pray for them daily, include them in daily family worship, take them to church each week, express happiness and contentment with your church, and fathers take the lead. Let God’s words of instructions to fathers and mothers and the practical advice of older successful parents guide your practical decisions. And remember your child’s true nature: body and soul made in God’s image now thoroughly marred by sin. If the Lord does not build your house, your labor will be in vain. Ask God for two things for each child: their salvation and marriage to a believer.
31. Make as few rules as possible for the smooth running of your household. Then enforce them predictably and fairly. God only needed Ten Commandments.
32. Give as few direct commands as possible to reduce occasions for confrontation. Beware the spur of the moment command that just pops into your head. Insist that your commands are obeyed.
33. Fathers and mothers tell their children what to do in three different ways: the indicative (We don’t eat peas with our knives), the interrogative (Do we eat peas with our knives?), and the imperative (Don’t eat your peas with your knife.) If you mean the imperative, use it.
34. Some mothers and fathers respond automatically to a child’s request or suggestion with “No,” which is odd for people who pray to our Father in heaven, eagerly hoping for “Yes,” all of the time.
35. Fathers and mothers should make a rule to keep their promises and threats and hence should make it a rule to think before they make a promise or a threat whether they intend to carry it out. However, the rule to keep your word can be overdone: sometimes it is better to say, “Dear child, I am sorry that I made a promise (or threat) so foolish, and it would be wrong to carry it out. Please forgive me for not keeping my word.”
36. When fathers and mothers have wronged one of their children, they should humble themselves and say, “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” And when their children make the same request, they should grant forgiveness, even though some correction for a rule broken may still be in order.
b. Husband of one wife: The idea here is of “A one-woman man.” It is not that a leader mustbe married (if so, then both Jesus and Paul could not be spiritual leaders in our churches). Nor is the idea that leader could never remarry if his wife had passed away or was Biblically divorced. The idea is that his love and affection and heart is given to onewoman, and that being his lawful and wedded wife.
i. This means that the Biblical leader is not a playboy, an adulterer, a flirt, and does not show romantic or sexual interest in other women, including the depictions or images of women in pornography.
c. Temperate: The idea is of someone who is not given to extremes. They are reliable and trustworthy, and you don’t have to worry about wide swings of vision, mood, or action.
d. Soberminded: This describes the person who is able to think clearly and with clarity. They are not constantly joking but know how to deal with serious subjects in a serious way.
i. “This does not mean he has no sense of humor, or that he is always solemn and somber. Rather it suggests that he knows the value of things and does not cheapen the ministry or the Gospel message by foolish behavior.” (Wiersbe)
e. Of good behavior: The idea is “orderly.” It is the same word translated modest in 1 Timothy 2:9. “Orderly, perhaps dignified in the best sense of the term” (White).
f. Hospitable: They are willing and able to open up their home to both friends and strangers.
g. Able to teach: This means they are skilled enough in the Bible to teach, either in a public or one-on-one setting.
h. Not given to wine: The idea is of not being addicted to wine or intoxicating drink. This verse, in itself, does not prohibit godly leadership from drinking alcoholic beverages, but it clearly discourages it.
i. “No ale-stake, tavern-haunter, that sits close at it, till the wine inflame him.” (Trapp)
i. Not violent: This is a man who is not given to violence either publicly nor privately; a man who can let God fight his cause.
j. Not greedy for money: The King James Version puts it far more memorably: not greedy of filthy lucre.
i. “I repeat that the man who will not bear poverty patiently and willingly will inevitably become the victim of mean and sordid covetousness.” (Calvin)
k. Gentle: The kind of man who takes Jesus as his example, not the latest action hero.
l. Not quarrelsome: The kind of person who is not always fighting over something or other.
m. Not covetous: This is a more encompassing thought than merely greedy for money. The covetous man is never satisfied with anything, always demanding something more or different. A man who is constantly dissatisfiedis not fit for leadership among God’s people.
n. Who rules his own house well: The godly leader demonstrates his leadership ability first in his own home; Paul recognized that it is in the home where our Christianity is first demonstrated.
i. It is true that a child may rebel from even a good home; but is the rebellion because of the parents or in spite of their job as parents? This is the question that must be asked.
o. Not a novice: New converts should not be given leadership too quickly. The leader should be well past the novice stage in their spiritual development.
i. Novice is literally “newly planted.” When someone first comes to Jesus, it isn’t good to put them into a place of leadership until they have been allowed to grow long enough to put down some deep roots.
ii. “Novices are not only bold and impetuous, but are puffed up with foolish self-confidence, as though they could fly beyond the clouds” (Calvin). Promoting a novice too quickly gives occasion to the great sin – pride, in imitation of the Devil himself.
p. A good testimony: These characteristics must be evident to all, even unbelievers to see. The potential leader must be a good Christian outside the walls of the church.
B. Qualifications for deacons.
1. (8a) Deacons, the practical servants of the church.
Likewise deacons must be…
a. Likewise deacons: An example of the appointment of deacons is in Acts 6:1-6, where the apostles saw the need to distribute the daily assistance to the widows among the church yet did not have the time to distribute the aid themselves. They chose men to act essentially as deacons in that church.
b. Deacons must be: Their qualifications are much the same as those for “bishops”; practical service (especially when recognized by an office) is leadership also.
i. It is a mistake to see one office as more prestigious than the other, though bishops have more responsibility before God. Each is more a matter of calling than status.
2. (8b-12) Qualifications for deacons.
Reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money, holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience. But let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons, being found blameless. Likewise their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
a. Reverent: Showing proper respect towards both God and man.
b. Not double-tongued: A man who speaks the truth the first time, with no intent to deceive.
c. Holding the mystery of the faith: Those who can adhere to proper doctrine, out of sincere conviction.
d. First be proved: A man demonstrates his fitness for office in the church by his conduct. Deacons and bishops are more recognized than appointed.
e. Likewise their wives: It is difficult to know if Paul here referred here to female deacons (such as Phoebe, in Romans 16:1), or the wives of male deacons. The original wording will permit either possibility.
i. If he is speaking mainly of a male deacon’s wife, it is appropriate because a man’s leadership in the home can be evaluated, in part, by his wife’s conduct. Is she reverent, not [one of the] slanderers, temperate,and faithful in all things?
ii. Not slanderers: “Literally, not devils. This may be properly enough translated slanderers, backbiters, tale-bearers, for all these are of their father, the devil, and his lusts they will do” (Clarke).
3. (13) A promise for deacons.
For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a good standing and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.
a. For those who have served well as deacons: God remembers their faithful service, even in tasks which some would consider menial. There is little doubt that you will see more deacons with a great reward than bishops or pastors.
b. The faith which is in Christ Jesus: All the work of servant-leaders in God’s family is pointed towards building among God’s people the faith which is in Christ Jesus.
C. The mystery of godliness.
1. (14-15) Paul’s reason for writing Timothy.
These things I write to you, though I hope to come to you shortly; but if I am delayed, I write so that you may know how you ought to conduct yourself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.
a. These things I write to you, though I hope to come to you shortly: Paul desired to speak these things to Timothy personally, but knowing he might not be able to come as soon as he wished, Paul made certain that he said it in a letter.
Self-controlled” can be translated “sober-mindedness.” Warren Wiersbe described the elder’s sober-mindedness this way:
He must have a serious attitude and be in earnest about his work. This does not mean he has no sense of humor, or that he is always solemn and somber. Rather it suggests that he knows the value of things and does not cheapen the ministry or the Gospel message by foolish behavior.
Respectable” can also be translated “orderly.”14 It is the opposite of chaotic. A spiritual leader must have an orderly, well-disciplined life. Commentator Homer Kent said this: “‘The ministry is no place for the man whose life is a continual confusion of unaccomplished plans and unorganized activities.’”15
God is a God of order and not of chaos (cf. 1 Cor 14:33). Therefore, as we grow in spiritual maturity, we will find the ability to discipline our mind, body, and life to accomplish the tasks the Lord calls us to. Are you orderly? Do you conduct affairs in a manner that is respectable?
Every elder should be faithful in ministry even before being selected. “Hospitable” and “able to teach” describe that ministry. The word “hospitable” literally can be translated “lover of strangers.” His house is open to the saved and unsaved alike. This was extremely important in ancient times as there were not many inns. It also was important for traveling missionaries who visited and stayed in homes as they shared the gospel.
Romans 12:13 says this to all believers about hospitality: “Contribute to the needs of the saints, pursue hospitality.” The word “pursue” can also be translated “practice” or “chase.” It can mean a “strenuous pursuit.”16Christians should not wait for opportunities to show hospitality—they should pursue them. This is especially true of potential elders. These are not men waiting for a ministry—these are men already doing ministry and the church just recognizes what God is doing through them. They are already shepherds.
Similarly, when God calls for people to serve him in a greater fashion, they are already being faithful in a lesser fashion (cf. Matt 25:23). They are faithful with their church, their friendships, their job, their money, their devotions, etc., and as they are faithful, God equips and uses them in a greater way.
Are you pursuing hospitality? How are you practicing love for strangers?
Not violent” can be literally translated “not a giver of blows.”18 The elder should not be known for physical violence either publicly or privately. He must be a man who trusts God to fight his battles. Romans 12:19 says, “Do not avenge yourselves, dear friends, but give place to God’s wrath, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
We get a good picture of this in the story of David after losing his kingdom to his son, Absalom. While marching away from the kingdom, he is mocked by a man named Shimei. David’s men became angry and asked to take off his head. However, David responds, “Let him mock! Maybe, God will see his mocking and restore his blessings on me” (2 Samuel 16:9-12, paraphrase). David, though a man of war, was a man who trusted God to fight his battles.
Obviously, a violent man would greatly hinder God’s work in the church. But this is true for any spiritual leader—he or she would be a cause of discord instead of peace. Not being violent is a quality of the spiritually mature.
Epieikēs (gentle) describes the person who is considerate, genial, forbearing, and gracious, who easily pardons human failure. Such a person remembers good, not evil. He does not keep a list of all the wrongs done to him, or hold a grudge. Many men leave the ministry because they can’t accept criticism. A leader, when wronged, must have no thought of retaliation.19
In ministry, the elders will constantly be criticized and attacked as they serve God faithfully. Therefore, they must be able to respond in a gentle manner—if not, they will aid in causing division and possibly church splits. Where the spiritually immature are often harsh in response to being wronged, the spiritually mature instead respond with gentleness. Paul said, “Rather, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing this you will be heaping burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom 12:20-21).
Are you gentle in response to criticism and wrongs committed against you? Do you seek to overcome evil by good? This is a sign of spiritual maturity and a characteristic in those God often uses greatly.
Essentially, Paul says elders should not be “contentious.” They are not arguers—always fighting over something. They must be able to disagree without being disagreeable. Second Timothy 2:24-25says,
And the Lord’s slave must not engage in heated disputes but be kind toward all, an apt teacher, patient, correcting opponents with gentleness. Perhaps God will grant them repentance and then knowledge of the truth
The reason God’s servants don’t quarrel is because their confidence is not in their arguments or raising their voice. It is in God. They know God is the one that changes hearts—not them. Short tempers make for short ministries.
Paul’s challenge to flee from the love of money does not just apply to money itself. Elders should not be materialistic in general. They should not be consumed with clothes, electronics, cars, etc. First Timothy 6:6-8 says, “Now godliness combined with contentment brings great profit. For we have brought nothing into this world and so we cannot take a single thing out either. But if we have food and shelter, we will be satisfied with that.”
Money and the things of this world must not have a grip on their hearts. They should be men who are content and not running after every new thing. Godliness with contentment is great spiritual gain, but those who love wealth open the door for many temptations. Was it not, in part, Eve’s desire for things that led her away from God? In the same way, all believers, not just leaders, must be careful of materialism. It can hinder spiritual growth and one’s ministry (cf. Matt 13:22).
Are you a lover of wealth? Christ commanded us not to store up riches on this earth for where our treasure is, our heart will be also (Matt 6:19-21). When God looks for someone to use, he finds someone who is content whether in plenty or in lack (Phil 4:11-12). They will not be distracted from the mission by materialism. They work hard but ultimately trust that God will meet their needs, as they seek first God’s kingdom and righteousness (Matt 6:33).
In the first-century Roman world, the householder was often the most senior male of the family. However, women, typically widows or divorcees, could also be the householder (e.g., Lydia). The householder, whether male or female, was responsible for providing for all the members of the household. These members might include adult and juvenile children plus other relatives, as well as servants and slaves.
The householder was also responsible for making sure the day to day management of the household and any home-based businesses and industries were running smoothly.[1] Male householders were usually married, and a capable wife would do much of the actual household management (cf. 1 Tim 5:14). Nevertheless, according to cultural expectations, her husband usually had oversight.
Furthermore, stewards could be employed to act as managers of large households. Interestingly, in Titus 1:7, the overseer is described as being God’s steward. On the other hand, small households, or small family units, did not necessarily need someone to act as either patron or manager.
Overseers as Managers
In 1 Timothy 3:2-7, there is a list of moral qualifications of an episkopos. (Episkopos is variously translated in English Bibles as overseer, supervisor, or bishop.)[2] These qualifications do not apply to Christians more generally. Moreover, the qualification in 1 Timothy 3:4a, which translated word for word says, “own house managing well” (cf. 1 Tim. 3:5), assumes a large household and not a small family unit.[3] (Note that there are no masculine personal pronouns in the Greek of 1 Timothy 3:1–7; there is no “his” in the Greek.)
This phrase is not necessarily saying that a person must rule their household, though some older English translations such as the KJV use the word “rule” or “ruleth” in 1 Timothy 3:4–5.[4] What verses 4–5 mean is that an overseer needed to manage their own household well (kalōs).
It seems that the first episkopoi (“overseers”) of churches were householders, the person in charge of a household of some size. The reason for the qualifications in 1 Timothy 3:1–7, including the qualification of managing well, was to ensure that the overseer would be a socially respectable person and not give the church a bad name to outsiders (cf. 1 Tim. 3:7). A poorly managed home would bring dishonour to the householder and dishonour to the church, as his home was where the church gathered.
Overseers as Patrons
In the first century, Christian communities (i.e. churches) met in homes and functioned like families. And taking care of a church was much like caring for a large family. (Christian men and women were like brothers and sisters, and often close-knit.) If a person was unable to manage and take care of their own household well, they would not be able to manage and take care of a church well. But what did “managing” entail?
The Greek participle proistamenon in verse 4 and the infinitive prostēnai in verse 5 (both from the verb proistēmi) are translated as “manage” in most English versions. This Greek verb can have the sense of providing for. Proistēmi occurs in Titus 3:8 & 14, for example, in the context of “good works.” (The plural of kalon ergon is used here.) It may be that in all eight occurrences of proistēmi in the New Testament—in Romans 12:8; 1 Thessalonians 5:12; 1 Timothy 3:4, 5, 12; 5:17; and Titus 3:8, 14—there is a sense of “caring” and “providing for” combined with a sense of “leading” or “managing.”[5]
Furthermore, all the qualifications in 1 Timothy 3 are prefaced by the statement, “Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task” (1 Tim 3:1). The Greek words translated as “noble task” it literally means “good work” (kalon ergon) and often refer to charitable acts and benefactions. “To aspire, then, to the office of bishop [or, overseer] is to be desirous of acting benevolently for the welfare of others.”[6]
Women as Patrons and Managers
Interestingly, a related noun of the verb proistēmi is used in Romans 16:2 to describe Phoebe’s ministry. Phoebe may well have been the householder of the home where the church at Cenchrea met.[7] What is certain is that she provided for many people, including the apostle Paul. Paul said of Phoebe that “she has been the benefactor of many people, including me” (Rom. 16:2).
Christian men and women of wealth and character took care of churches in the first century, acting as patrons and managers.[7] Moreover, these people were typically the hosts of churches that met in their relatively spacious homes. These men and women with money and with morals functioned as overseers of congregations.[8]
Conclusion
The qualification in 1 Timothy 3:4a reflects the culture of the day and reflects the way the church functioned in the first century. But today, both culture and church life are very different. Today, households (with more than one adult member) are usually not overseen by just one person. And most congregations are not small house churches that function like families. Furthermore, modern churches usually pay their leaders, but in the first century, the overseers financially supported the church by hosting meetings and helping poorer members. 1 Timothy 3:4 cannot be taken as a mandate that homes are to be led or ruled by a man.
More on the qualifications for overseers in 1 Timothy 3:1–7 here.[9]
Footnotes
[1] It is often stated that in the ancient world the male sphere was public and female sphere was domestic. But, in reality, the two spheres overlapped. In the Roman world, men could conduct business and receive clients at home; women could work, or engage in business or in public works, outside of the home.
[2] Louw and Nida place the word episkopos (“overseer”) under the semantic heading of “35. Help, Care for” (35.43) and also “53. Religious Activities; I. Roles and Functions” (53.71). They point out that even though the role of an episkopos “has been regarded traditionally as a position of authority, in reality the focus is upon the responsibility for caring for others.” Johannes P. Louw and Eugene A. Nida, Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament Based on Semantic Domains, Volume 1: Introductions and Domains (New York, NY: United Bible Societies, 1988), 542, s.v. ἐπίσκοπος §53.71. (Internet Archive)
Commenting on episkopos in Philippians 1:1, Kevin Madigan and Carolyn Osiek observe, “Episkoposcarried none of the connotations that the word “bishop” does today, or even after Ignatius of Antioch. It is a term borrowed from management functions, meaning supervisor or overseer.”
Madigan and Osiek (eds. and transl.) in Ordained Women in the Early Church: A Documentary History (Baltimore: John Hopkins University Press, 2005), 11.
[3] Kevin Giles observes, “The qualifications demanded of a bishop [or overseer] are ones that would describe a respected head of a large home.” Giles, Patterns of Ministry among the First Christians (Eugene OR: Cascade Books, 2017), 62. (Online source)
[4] In the highly stratified society of the ancient world, leadership was hierarchical and often patriarchal, and the customs of patronage gave the patron or patroness both prestige and power. But these social dynamics have no place in the church. Having power over or ruling over another capable adult brother or sister is unacceptable behaviour for a Christian. It goes against what Jesus taught.
[5] Proistēmi in the New Testament “seems to have the sense a. ‘to lead’ but the context shows in each case that one must also take into account sense b. ‘to take care of’. This is explained by the fact that caring was an obligation of leading members of the infant Church.”
Bo Reike, “Proistēmi ”, Theological Dictionary of the New Testament (TDNT), Vol. 6, ed. Gerhard Friedrich, transl. and ed. Geoffrey Bromiley (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1968), 701–703, 701.
There is an overlap in the senses of the verbs proistēmi (related concrete noun: prostatēs (m), prostatis (f)) and episkeptomai (related concrete noun: episkopos). Both have the sense of caring for people; however, the words have some differing senses also.
[6] Giles, Patterns of Ministry, 62.
Money may have been one of the main ministry resources of the first church overseers. In the context of Greco-Roman associations, the overseer (episkopos) was the financial officer. See James Tunstead Burtchaell, From Synagogue to Church: Public Services and Offices in the Earliest Christian Communities (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1992), 99. (Online source)
[7] 1 Timothy 3 does not explicitly state what the overseers did, or were to do, in the Ephesian church. Raymond Brown notes that “no cultic or liturgical role is assigned to presbyter-bishops [elders and overseers ] in the Pastorals.” “Episkopê and Episkopos: the New Testament Evidence,” Theological Studies 41 (1980), 322–338. (Online source) That is, there is no evidence in the New Testament linking either overseers (episkopoi) or elders (presbyteroi) to worship. See James Tunstead Burtchaell, From Synagogue to Church, 84f. (Online source) It is likely, however, that overseers were involved in some spoken ministries in gatherings for worship and the Eucharist, etc. But other people would have also participated and contributed, sometimes spontaneously (cf. 1 Cor. 14:26; Col. 3:16).
[8] Lydia, Priscilla, Phoebe, Nympha, Apphia, the chosen lady, and possibly Chloe may well have been the overseers and/or the patrons who cared pastorally for the congregations that used their homes as their base.
[9] Most householders were men, and the qualifications in 1 Timothy 3:1ff assume the householder/ episkopos will be a man. It also assumes the episkopos will be married and have children. But nowhere in the Greek New Testament does it say an episkopos (or any other kind of minister) must be a man and/ or must be married and/ or must have children and/ or must have their own house. What it does say is that an episkopos must be above reproach, faithful in marriage, sober, respectable, hospitable, etc.
When it comes to the institution of marriage, the Bible lays out specific roles for both husbands and wives, outlining how they are to love each other and help one another grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ.
Of course, the Bible does not hold back in expressing God’s view of the sanctity of marriage either. It is an institution established and upheld by God, and one that is rich in its illustrative nature and sanctifying purpose.
In fact, for husbands specifically, the Bible speaks of how deeply a man should treasure his wife and marriage:
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband” (Proverbs 12:4).
“An excellent wife, who can find her? For her worth is far above jewels” (Proverbs 31:10).
“So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth” (Malachi 2:15).
Unfortunately, it’s not a secret to say that marriage, like the family, has been under assault since the Garden of Eden. As marriage rates plummet, divorce rates skyrocket, and the desire of young husbands and wives to have children declines, the spiritual well-being of our society is in a state of crisis.
What Does It Mean That Husbands Are “Spiritual Leaders”?
Charles Hodge, the former president of Princeton Theological Seminary writes, “the character of the Church and of the state depends on the character of the family. If religion dies out in the family, it cannot elsewhere be maintained.” (706)
As husbands and wives work as “one flesh” (Genesis 2:23) to disciple their children in the ways of the Lord, they train them to become future ambassadors of the gospel. Godly parents must teach their children the good works of God for them to pass on to their children and future generations (Deuteronomy 6:1-15).
It also is why, in his letters to the early church, the apostle Paul laid out the requirements for overseers and elders in the church. And guess what? The effectiveness of godly men as leaders in the church begins with how effective they are at leading as husbands and fathers in their own homes (Titus 1:6-7).
No one bears more responsibility for the spiritual trajectory of his household than the spiritual leader of the home, the husband.
Husbands must lead by example, leading their wives and children in prayer, worship, and the study of God’s Word. There are responsibilities that belong to husbands and fathers, not simply pastors or other ministers.
Raising godly children, however, is only part of what being a leader in the home entails. Not all husbands are fathers. Therefore, before a man can become an effective shepherd to his children, he must first learn to be a godly shepherd to his wife.
In the Bible, we see that God first ordains husbands to be the spiritual leaders and shepherds in their marriages. But what does this mean and actually look like?
Let’s start with what it does not mean.
What a Spiritual Leader Does Not Look Like
Modern wisdom, both in and outside of the church, often decries the notion of male leadership as patriarchy and submission as oppression. In many circles, even suggesting that a husband is ordained by God to be the spiritual leader of his home will be met with outrage and derision.
However, husbands are ordained by God to be the spiritual leader and heads of their respective households, whether society or individual men and women choose to accept it or not.
Nowhere in Scripture does God claim that husbands are inherently superior, smarter, or more valuable than their wives, which earns them the mantle of leadership. That is not what the biblical definition of spiritual leadership entails. God does not give men free reign to be domineering, selfish, abusive, or cruel to their wives either. The Bible makes clear from the creation account that men and women are both made in the image of God and therefore created with intrinsic, equal worth (Genesis 1:26).
However, husbands and wives do have unique roles to play in the home – roles that are set apart from the expectations and definitions of society. This is important, because as society, career roles, and even cultural norms change, God’s expectation for husbands and wives does not! His standards transcend time, tradition, and culture.
For Husbands
Furthermore, though husbands are called to be spiritual leaders, this does not mean that all men will inherently lead well.
In fact, because of sin, men can often become selfish, arrogant, unloving, and abusive, betraying the very role they have been entrusted with.
In many cases, it is difficult for men to even accept this role. Many would rather surrender this responsibility to their wives or abandon it outright. And often, husbands fail to lead because of neglect, cowardice, or plain laziness, to the detriment of their wives and children.
For Wives
Wives also are not immune from their own sinful nature, which makes it difficult for many women to properly submit to their husband’s leadership.
As God told Eve in the Garden of Eden, “your desire will be for your husband, and he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16). Similar verbiage is used to describe the way sin sought to “rule over Cain” and how Cain would need to learn to master and rule over it (Genesis 4:7). He unfortunately did not. Sin would become his master.
What this means, however, as we’ve seen play out throughout history, is that, because of sin, women often seek to dominate and rule over their husbands, usurping the man’s role as the spiritual leader of the home. Does this mean that women are not permitted to labor with their husbands, seek the Lord, have goals or dreams, or share in the responsibilities of raising a family? Of course not. What it means is that the spiritual trajectory, moral structure, values, and vision of the family should be spearheaded by the husband.
Jesus as the Perfect Example of a Spiritual Leader
According to Albert Bayliss in his book From Creation to the Cross, “it is the husband’s moral responsibility to maintain leadership. This involves no new arrangement, but rather a difficulty brought on by the Fall” (64).
No husband or wife is perfect, but the proclivity for husbands and wives to abandon their responsibilities in marriage is something both men and women must fight to overcome.
Thankfully, the Bible provides the perfect example for both husbands and wives to follow through Jesus Christ.
In fact, throughout Scripture, God uses marriage as an illustration for His relationship with the church, whom He refers to as His bride.
God knows better than anyone what is like to be in a marriage with an unfaithful bride. And yet, despite his bride’s many mistakes and betrayals, God’s love remains. His commitment is eternal. So too are earthly husbands called to love their wives.
The apostle Paul writes, “the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-23).
What Does it Look Like for a Husband to Be a Good Spiritual Leader?
As the head of the home, the husband is tasked with modeling the kind of leadership demonstrated by Christ as the head of the church (1 Corinthians 11:1-3).
However, lest we assume that this gives husbands license to dominate their wives or enforce a my-way-or-the-highway attitude, Paul also writes of how husbands are to love their wives, again pointing the sacrificial nature of Christ’s love for His church.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:25-28, emphasis added).
Husbands must be patient, strong, faithful, and selfless, giving of himself for the betterment of his bride.
According to Albert Bayliss, “The history of man’s leadership is also the tragedy of the Fall. His failure to recognize his mate as his divine complement and equal is notorious. He has often failed to follow the model of Yahweh’s love to Israel, and for New Covenant believers, Christ’s love for the Church. So in Ephesians 5, Paul reminds the woman to voluntarily follow and respect her husband’s moral leadership and exhorts the husband to love his wife. Each emphasis meets the particular temptation of each of the partners” (65).
“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not become bitter against them” (Colossians 3:18-19).
It is the job of husbands, therefore, to encourage, disciple, and help sanctify their wives. Wives also play a role in helping sanctify their husbands. As Voddie Baucham writes in his book, Family Shepherds “God uses marriage to chisel away at our rough edges and to conform us to the image of His son” (88). Sanctification is at the core of every biblical marriage.
A husband’s role as the spiritual leader of his home is one of the utmost importance. Contrary to popular wisdom, a husband’s ability to effectively lead and shepherd his family carries more weight than even his job or career. It must be treated as a primary responsibility, not a side project.
As the Good Shepherd leads and cares for His sheep, so husbands must shepherd, love, and care for their wives. As the husband goes, so goes his marriage and inevitably his entire family.
Role of the Husband in the Bible – Provider and Protector
The role of the husband in the Bible starts with leadership, but encompasses provision and protection. A husband will never influence his wife if he does not care for her. He can demand and she may follow as a result, but he will never truly have her heart unless he provides for her needs, cares for her well-being, and protects her both physically and spiritually. For as Scripture says:
- "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8).
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19).
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7).
God loves His daughters and the children they bear. When He gives one of His daughters to a man, He desires that the man cares for her. In no place does Scripture teach or endorse that women and children be considered second rate or inferior to men. Instead, He finds them so precious that He asks for special care to be given them; a care that only biblically-based men can provide. Women are very capable of taking care of themselves. However, God did make men and women different and thus due to the physical nature and strength God gave men, He has charged them with the provision and protection of their families.
The physical nature and strength of a man is to be managed with grace and gentleness. God did not create men to lord over women nor did he create women to simply wait on men. He made them both to complement each other through healthy companionship.
Role of the Husband in the Bible – Companion
The role of the husband in the Bible is fulfilled through the heart of companionship. Ephesians 5:25-33 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
The relationship between a husband and a wife is meant to be one of love, respect, and support. They are to help each other. This idea is introduced at the beginning of the Bible in the story of the creation of Eve. Adam needed a companion, a suitable helper, yet one could not be found until God created Eve. Genesis 2:20-24 says, “…But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
This also leads to another understanding of companionship. God created men and women with natural, physical, and emotional differences. Usually where one is weak, the other is strong. Therefore, a husband and wife can help each other by meeting the other person’s needs through physical and emotional intimacy. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 addresses this, “But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” When the needs of our spouse are properly met through healthy companionship, the two can help each other and can live a successful life together.
Lastly, through their companionship a husband and wife work together as a team to develop and grow a family. God’s plan was that every home operate under the specific roles of both a husband and a wife and that through this they raise healthy children who honor God with their lives. Ephesians 6:1-3 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ —which is the first commandment with a promise— ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’” Children are blessed through the honor of their mother and father working in unison to train them up in the way they should go.
The companionship between a man and a woman is directed by the influence of the husband through his provision and protection and is covered by his caring, gentle, and graceful love for his wife and family. Without the biblical roles of a husband being fulfilled by a strong man of God, the family unit risks the difficulties brought on by sin and spiritual distortion. Satan desires the destruction of the family, but through Christ and proper understanding of biblical roles, the family is a strong and safe place to grow in God.
Strong and healthy marriages are built on a solid Biblical foundation. If the husband would embrace his role as a loving leader and the wife would embrace her role as a loving helpmate in building a strong family, the process and construction of healthy marriages and families would be easier. Both need to embrace their roles.
Before we get started let me say a couple of things to the husbands.
- Husbands, it is your responsibility to make it as easy and enjoyable to follow your leadership. The more loving you are to your wife the easier she will find it to respectfully submit to your guidance and leadership as the head of the home.
- Husbands, your wife is about to hear some things that she may or may not agree with. Allow her the freedom to wrestle with it, struggle with it, and grow in it. Let the Holy Spirit encourage her, challenge her, and convict her where He wants, not where you want.
- A word to the ladies regarding me. I am a man. I am also a pastor. I’m going to do the best I can with what the Bible says about being a wife. I’m not going to do this perfectly. I’m asking you to listen to what ever God’s Word and God’s Spirit is saying to you through these next couple of lessons. I’m also asking you to give me some grace and mercy when I say things that may be offensive to you. My desire is simply for you to hear God’s Word and apply it to your life and there you will discover true contentment and satisfaction.
I believe every wife wants to be a loving and helpful wife. Just as God puts into the heart of men to love and protect their wife, God also places in the heart of women a desire to bless and love their husbands. This doesn’t mean it comes easy.
As a wife, God wants you to love your husband. You made a vow before God and others that you would love your husband for better or worse, in good times and bad times. Today, we are going to take a look at an important aspect of marriage but also a very controversial one: the Biblical principle of submission in marriage. We can’t look at everything about submission in one lesson, but I do want to give you something to think about from God’s Word.
A submissive wife understands submission to the Lord
Number one, a submissive wife understands submission to the Lord. It is impossible to properly submit to your husband if you aren’t submitting to the one you call Lord. Your relationship with Jesus effects your relationship with your husband.
Look closely at Ephesians 5:22 which says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. That phrase, “as to the Lord,” means four things.
- “As to the Lord” is a salvation phrase. It assumes that you have a relationship with the Lord, that you are born again, that you are a follower of Jesus, and that you are a disciple who is growing and learning how to represent Jesus in your life.
- “As to the Lord” is a loving phrase. You are going to treat your husband the way Jesus wants you to because you are so in love with Jesus. You see the way you treat your husband as an act of worship to the Lord. This is why a woman who is equal to her husband, maybe more gifted than her husband, more educated than her husband, and makes more money than her husband can put herself under her husband’s authority and leadership because she is submitting to her husband as an act of obedience and love to Jesus.
- “As to the Lord” is a comparison phrase. The principles you apply to following Jesus’ leadership in your life you apply to following your husband’s leadership. You and I know that your husband is not Jesus. But this phrase “as to the Lord” carries the same idea as when Jesus said, “When you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me” (Matt. 25:40). When you show respect and honor toward your husband, Jesus receives that as showing Him respect and honor.
- “As to the Lord” is a boundary phrase. This phrase protects the wife so that her submission is within the bounds of what is in the will of the Lord. We will talk more about this later, but as a wife you are not obligated to commit anything illegal, immoral, or unethical because of your husband. If God’s Word says don’t do it, you don’t do it. You submit to your husband “as to the Lord” and the Lord would never have you contradict His word.
Before you can experience healthy submission to your husband, you must experience submission to the Lord Jesus. Your submission to your husband is to be an overflow of your submission to Christ. You submit to your husband “as to the Lord.”
A submissive wife learns how to yield to her husband
Number two, a submissive wife learnshow to yield to her husband. This does not come naturally. When sin enter the human race in Genesis 3 it affected everything. It affected the animals, the ground, the weather, Adam and Eve. Part of sin’s affect on the woman was that she would have a desire to control her husband. As a matter of fact God commented on this in Genesis 3:16 where God says, “And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you”. Part of the sinful nature in both men and women has created this conflict of who leads who in the household ever sense.
Fast forward to Titus 2 and we see what the older women are to be teaching the younger women. The Bible says, “Older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered.” (Titus, 2:3-5). A few thoughts from this.
- First, younger women are to be taught and encouraged in how to love their husbands and how to follow their husband’s leadership. Why? It doesn’t come naturally. Loving your husband and following his leadership is something you must be taught. It is learned.
- Second, older women are to be the primary teachers of the younger women when it comes to loving their husbands and learning how to follow their husband’s leadership. I am not to be the primary teacher telling younger wives how to love and follow their husbands, the godly older ladies in your life are to be doing that. I am to teach the broader picture and let you ladies work out the details.
Let me show you this real quick. Titus 2:1 says, “As for you, Titus, promote the kind of living that reflects wholesome teaching” . Titus is a pastor. He represents guys like me. Then in verse 2 we are told what to teach older men, verse 3 we are told what to teach older women, and in verse 6 we are told what to teach young men. So wives, seek out some older godly ladies to help you with the details of how to love and follow your husband.
- Third, the way you treat your husband and children can be used to slander God’s message. According to Titus 2:5 if a wife does not love her husband and rejects his leadership it can be used against the gospel in some way. As a Christian wife, you may read the Bible, go to church, and be involved in many good things but if you treat your husband poorly, speak of him rudely, and reject his leadership to the point that those around you know you don’t love your husband and you rule that home, then the watching world can and will use that to say, “See, Jesus and that Bible doesn’t help her or that marriage be any better.” The world will judge the authenticity and value of your faith in Christ more by how you live than by your theology. A Christian wife that shows consistent disrespect to her husband can be a tool in Satan’s hand to slander or dishonor God’s Word. This is a powerful thing we are talking about today.
This is why it’s so important for young wives and older wives to get together and talk about how to love and follow their husbands. You need older godly ladies in your life and if you are an older godly lady you need to invest in the younger wives.
A submissive wife’s ultimate authority is not her husband
Number three, a submissive wife’s ultimate authority is not her husband. Your ultimate authority is God. For this reason, if your husband asks you to sin, you must not, because you need to be in submission to your highest authority, the will of God as revealed in the Word of God. For this reason, if your husband commits a crime, you can call the police. If he ask you to lie, you can say no. Your ultimate authority is God, not your husband. In Acts 5:29 we are told, “We must obey God rather than men”. If your husband ask you to do anything immoral, illegal, or unethical you should say no.
A submissive wife is equal to her husband
Number four, a submissive wife is equal to her husband. You and your husband are equal in value. You are both equally important. You are equals, but you have two different roles. A fork and a spoon are equals in the kitchen, but they have two different roles. In God’s divine design He created marriage in such a way that for it to work at the maximum level the husband should lead with a sacrificial heart and the wife should follow with a submissive heart. Again, you are both equal, you simply have different roles.
In Genesis 1:27 the Bible says, “So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female [They both were created in the image of God, that is a value statement]. God blessed them, and God said to them [to both of them], ‘Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth’”.God gave both of them the authority to subdue and rule the planet. You are equal to your husband because God made you both in the image of Himself and gave both of you authority to rule.
You are both equal, but you do not have the same role. You have different roles. This takes us to our final point.
A submissive wife yields to her husband’s leadership
Number five, a submissive wife yieldsto her husband’s leadership. Colossians 3:18 says, “Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” . As a Christian wife you recognize that God has given the headship or leadership of the home to your husband. There will be times that you and your husband will disagree about a matter, when that happens someone has to make a final decision. That someone is the husband and God will hold him accountable for his decisions.
Pam, my wife, she is really good at this. When there is more than one way to handle something we will sit down, discuss an issue, look at the options, talk it through together, I will hear her thoughts on it, and she will hear mine. Then she will say something like this, “I know this is a tough decision. You know where I stand on it, but whatever you decide I will support you on it.” She has just yielded herself to my leadership. That is a helpmate.
Pursue Holiness: This is the key to leading our families in Christ. A Christian husband and father cannot lead where he has not tread. Even as Paul admonished Timothy regarding the pastorate, “Keep a close watch on your life and doctrine” (1 Timothy 4:16), so it is true of the “pastor” of the home. If holiness is found lacking in our lives, then it will normally be lacking in our family members as well. The greatest impetus to their growth in Christ is our growth in Christ.
Know What You Can Control and Can’t Control: It is a fool who thinks they can control the hearts of others. We have no such charge and thank God, because we have no such ability. We can encourage, exhort, and teach our wives and children in the faith, but we cannot control their embrace of or growing in that faith. But we are charged with maintaining our own hearts. Don’t neglect what you have responsibility for while pursuing that which you are not responsible for. Husbands and fathers serve their family well when they are seeking to control their own anger, selfishness, pride, and tongue. Let us know what we are empowered to do and what only the Lord can do.
Provide in Every Realm: Most Christian husbands and fathers recognize the need to provide for their families materially. “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). Even as this is true in the physical realm, so it is true in the spiritual. By all means, bring home the bacon! But don’t stop there. Practice consistent and regular family worship; lead your family in reading the Scriptures, praying, and singing. In joy, take your family to church each week, engage your family in the ministry of the church, pursue hospitality by inviting others to your home, pray with and for your wife and children. Don’t think your job is done by putting a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, and food in their stomachs. They are body and soul, they need your provision in the spiritual realm as well.
Practice Humility: Leading in Christ is different from than the world’s view of leadership. The world promotes a type of leadership that demands to beserved. The Christian view of leadership demands to serve. Dear Christian husband and father, you are the chief servant in your home. Congratulations! In Christ, “whoever would be great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:26). We lead by serving and often that serving is sacrificial (Ephesians 5:25).
Persist in Joy and Thanksgiving: Set the tone in your home. A Christian husband and father establishes the culture of his home more than anyone else. The moody teenager, fussy toddler, or even sullen wife are not the determining factor. You are. Pursue joy in the Lord and persist in thanksgiving to God for all His good gifts (James 1:17). This is a great starting place for shaping your home.
Be Effusive in Love: No wife or child has ever said, “I was loved too much!” Don’t be the husband or father who is reserved in expressing your love. Make your wife feel treasured. Nourish and cherish her (Ephesians 5:29). Grace her life with compliments, flowers, gifts, and constant affection. Hug her from behind while she is washing the dishes, carve out regular time for her to escape from the demands of the home, encourage her to pursue godly female friendships, thank her for the care she provides for you and your children, plan and execute date nights. May there never be a doubt in her mind that you treasure her above all others. And allow your children to see this affection. Your embrace of mom should be a regular vision for their little eyes to behold. As for your children, lavish upon them an undeterred and unfailing love. No matter their failings, foibles, or struggles, may they know your love will be a constant in their lives. It is fixed and nothing can steal it away. You won’t be a perfect father, but bathing your children in love is a step towards being a great father.
Live in Grace: Peter says, “live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel…” (1 Peter 3:7). Paul says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Model and practice grace in your home. Be sensitive to sin and even more sensitive to extending the same grace you have received. Your wife and children should find you approachable, kind, gentle, and gracious. When they hear the word grace it shouldn’t be a foreign concept to their minds. They have known and received it from you consistently.
Protect and Be Strong: Your wife and children need your strength. Not only do they need your strength, but they need to know you are willing to use that strength for their good. You serve as their defender. You are to willingly and gladly stand-up for your family, even if that costs you socially, professionally, emotionally, or even physically.
Glory in Weakness: Even as you seek to be strong, you must glory in your own weakness. Your wife and children should know you as a man who happily depends upon the Lord. When they reflect upon your strength, they always count it as from the Lord. And you are happy for them to know the source of your strength. A faithful Christian husband and father will not wallow in his weakness, but he will glory in it. He will continually look to Christ and model this supremely Christian virtue before his family. He will be a man of prayer, knowing that much of his shepherding takes place upon his knees. He will lead the way in asking for forgiveness in the home from both his wife and children, he will keep short accounts and be quick to grant forgiveness when offended, he will refrain from having too high of expectations for his wife and children knowing his own failings and weaknesses, and he will extend to them the same grace he himself needs.
Live with God’s Glory in View: Whether you are at work, rest, or play, seek to glorify the Lord. Paul said, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). Model before your family purposeful living. We are always living in the shadow of God’s glory. Demonstrate to them that every moment matters, every person is significant, every task is important. Laugh when you play with your kids, sweat when you work, and sing loud when you worship. Do all things with His glory in view and do them with your whole heart and soul, especially the leading of your family.
Christian husbands and fathers, you have been given the glorious and wonderful task of leading your homes in Christ. Leading takes thought and intentionality. How are you leading your family in the Lord? What principles, practices, and pursuits are you employing for their good and the glory of our Head, Christ Jesus?
The responsibilities of a man according to the Bible to his family and the world is based on the goal of preparing himself to be the head of the household. To do so, a man must carry out the responsibilities that God has assigned to him.
The Bible lays out a detailed list of duties that a man must do. The responsibilities of a ma according to the Bible encompasses not only what he should do for his family, but also what he should be able to do in every aspect of life.
What does the Bible say about the role of the man?
The Bible says a man is required to lead his household in the ways of God Almighty by exercising self-control, patience, love, kindness, charity, and wisdom. As a result, he reflects Christ in his home, and God’s desire is fulfilled. “For the husband is the head of the woman, just as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior,” says Ephesians 5:23.
Biblical expectations of a husband
Being a husband entails a great deal of responsibility. To successfully handle the responsibilities and expectations that God has set on spouses, it takes a character that has been molded by God and is in the process of ongoing improvement.
Here are the Biblical expectation of a husband
Stewardship – 1 Peter 4:10
“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace”
1 Peter 4:10
The quality of one’s maturity and integrity, as well as how that maturity and character are played out on a daily basis, is said to be stewardship. One of the most prevalent complaints women have about their husbands is that they do not follow through on their roles and responsibilities in the marriage.
Essentially, stewardship entails faithfully managing everything God has entrusted you with on this planet. That is a lot in a marriage partnership. God has blessed us with a wife, children, money, time, assets, and many more blessings that we must carefully manage.
Love – Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”
Ephesians 5:25
Love which is commonly associated with romantic feelings, sex, or physical attraction is not the kind of love the Bible talks about. Although these things can be wonderful, they will ebb and flow over time. All of these qualities are desirable in a marriage, but none of them are unconditional.
Biblical love is neither a feeling nor a motivation. It is constantly considering the other person, in this case, the wife. Christ’s love for the Church is an example of true biblical love.
Leadership – Matthew 20:26-28
“It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:26-28
The Bible makes it plain that the husband is to be the head(Leader). This is not worldly leadership, but Christ-like leadership, as Jesus exemplified in the Bible.
The leadership of a husband is not the same as worldly leadership. This is primarily because, as Christ demonstrated, a biblical spouse is a servant-leader. Christ was the perfect example of a servant while being the ideal leader.
This selfless style of leadership that husbands are expected to demonstrate involves the ability to make decisions and take action when necessary. The main goal of a husband’s leadership should be to lead his family in the proper direction.
Service – Mark 10:45
“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Mark 10:45
Serving your wife entails humbly placing her needs ahead of your own and continually prioritizing her in your marriage partnership. A godly husband prays on a regular basis for the capacity to put his natural pride aside and focus on his wife’s needs.
Jesus is a great model for humble service. A husband should strive to have Christ’s perspective, which is to put others first without seeking acclaim or acceptance. Christ was always attempting to glorify God by helping others selflessly and without regard for his own needs. A godly husband should seek to have this attitude toward his wife.
Communication – Colossians 4:6
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Colossians 4:6
This is a crucial component, as poor communication is one of the most significant roadblocks to a happy marriage.
There are numerous elements that go into effective communication, both on the giving and receiving sides. However, I’ve discovered that men, in particular, struggle when they’re on the receiving end. We don’t pay attention.
Whatever the cause, listening is a vital element of communication, and a husband who wants to improve communication in his marriage should learn to develop the ability to listen.
Responsibilities of a man according to the Bible
The responsibilities of a man according to the Bible are vast, as are the benefits of following God’s commands. Let us delve into what the Bible dictates for being a righteous and worthy man.
1. Accountable to God
It is the responsibility of the man to be of loving authority rather than a harsh authoritarian role. And, as a loving authority, the man is accountable to God for his family’s well-being.
Men are expected to be responsible stewards of the resources that God has bestowed upon them. They are to utilize their power to lift others rather than tear them down.
This is how men demonstrate their love for Christ through treating others. Men must model godly behavior in their homes, churches, and communities for others to realize what it means to be a godly man who walks after Christ.
2. Role of a father
The responsibility of a man according to the Bible as designed by God is to be a father. “The best gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother,” says an adage about parenthood. When a man and a woman become husband and wife, they form a family.
A father is responsible for raising and providing for his children. The father’s role varies by culture, however, the following are the most important:
- A father acts as a protector for his children, shielding them from predators and outsiders. Although a woman may defend her children in the same way, fathers are more likely to intervene in violent fights.
- A father serves as the financial provider for his family. Working outside the home, giving financial advice, and putting money aside for emergencies and special occasions like birthdays and weddings are all examples of this.
- A father teaches his children about life by setting an example.
3. A man do not provoke children to wrath
Do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4
This does not imply that a father should never bother or correct his children. This scripture does not, however, suggest that we never discipline our children. It’s difficult to teach without at least some form of correction!
When our children disobey, the Bible plainly states that we should chastise them (Proverbs 13:24).
The issue arises when we punish them out of rage or frustration. We are inviting people to fury and pushing them away from God rather than drawing them closer to Him when we do this.
Always remember this scripture if you want your children to obey God’s Word and enjoy His blessings throughout their lives: “Fathers, do not invite your children to wrath.”
4. Love like Christ
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for
Ephesians 5:25 (KJV)
Love like Christ. Christ’s love is more than a sensation or an emotion. It is a notion that we must keep in mind as we go about our daily lives.
We must regard our lives as God’s property, and then utilize them to demonstrate His love to others. Living for Christ is the ultimate expression of love for Him.
In these verses, authority as the family’s leader is described, as well as a commitment to provide for the family’s needs. Real leadership and real love, as demonstrated by Jesus Christ, are self-sacrificing to provide for those who are led and loved.
5. A father’s responsibility to teach children
A father’s primary responsibility is to teach his children. The most important thing is to teach children God’s way.
In Deuteronomy 6:7 and Deuteronomy 11:19 we discover that parental guidance should be a continuous process, When you sit in your house, when you walk along the way, when you lie down, and when you rise
While there should be moments when you more explicitly teach your children, these verses imply that teaching should be a natural part of life. The father should model God’s way of life for his children through all he does and says each day.
A father’s focus must be to spend timeteaching, leading, playing with, and working with his children. It is a divinely entrusted responsibility.
6. Honor and responsibility
In the family, God has given the man a unique and specific function. His role in the family is to mirror the role of Jesus Christ. He is tasked with nurturing and caring for each member of his family, and with exercising the same gentleness and loving control over them that Christ does for His Church.
Being a father and husband is a great honor and responsibility.
7. A man should provide for his family
The Bible is clear on this point: a man’s responsibility is to provide for his family. The primary goal of a man’s life should be to provide for his family. The scripture says that
“if any man not provide for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel”
1 Timothy 5:8
A man’s job encompasses not just what he does at work, but also what he does at home.
A man is obligated by God to do everything in his power to ensure that his family has the fundamental essentials of life: food, clothing, and shelter.
8. Treat your wife with understanding and honor
A man should treat his wife with respect and kindness. Even when his wife acts in unkind ways, he should be kind to her.
No matter what the situation or how she acts, a man should treat his wife with respect. A man should not only vocally communicate his love but also demonstrate it by his deeds. When a man treats his wife well, he demonstrates that he regards her as a vital part of his life.
When a husband mistreats his wife, he is implying that he is unconcerned about her wants or feelings. This can lead to anger and bitter sentiments between spouses, which can lead to divorce or other significant issues in their relationship.
“Each of you likewise must love your wife as he loves himself,”
The Bible states in Ephesians 5:33.
Genesis. 2:24 – To Be a Husband
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
According to the Bible, a husband and wife should be one flesh through marriage. This implies that they will merge into one unit. They will be able to love one other more than anyone else.
Genesis 2:15 – To be supportive
The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.
Genesis 2:15
A man’s responsibility is to work. This verse reveals that a man’s primary responsibility is to work. God didn’t create man to sit around doing nothing; He made him work with His hands.
One of the most essential things a man can do is labor. Work is not simply something he must do to support himself and his family; it is also more than just a means of earning money.
Working might include anything from preparing a meal for your family to washing the dishes after dinner, as well as cleaning your garage or repainting your living room walls. It is, however, a divine blessing.
Ephesians 5:23-24 – To Be the Head over His Wife
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Ephesians 5:23-24
The Bible is clear that men are to be the head of their wives. For many individuals today, this is a difficult concept to grasp.
In this verse, the word “head” refers to the man’s authority over his wife. It is in no way implies that he is her employer or superior.
The idea is that husband and wife share equal value as human beings, but the husband is the source of strength for his wife and family. He is in charge of giving his home with love, safety, and guidance.
Ephesians 5:25 – To Serve Sacrificially
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Ephesians 5:25
A man’s responsibility is to lead by example. In this case, Paul is saying that we should love our wives as Christ loved us. This means that we must serve selflessly. We must be willing to relinquish our rights in order to do what is best for others, without expecting anything in return.
This is significant because when a man gives up his life for his wife, he is teaching her how she should treat him as well. If he serves her selflessly, she will learn how to serve him selflessly as well. Children are the same way; if you want them to learn how to serve others, you must first serve them.
1 Timothy 5:8 – To Provide
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Timothy 5:8
The role of a man is to provide. He should be able to meet his family’s basic necessities at the very least.
The word “provide” refers to the act of supplying or furnishing. This passage is about providing financial security for your family. God has given you the ability to earn a living, and it is your obligation to invest properly in order to meet the requirements of your family.
it’s also not just about money; it’s about meeting your family’s needs in every way: physical, emotional, spiritual, and so on.
What is man’s responsibility to God?
Man’s major responsibilities to God are :
- We are to worship God
- We are to obey God’s commands
- We are to represent God on earth
What is the role of men in the family and society?
The role of men in the family and society includes:
- One of the main roles of men in society and the family is as head of the family unit.
- The role of a father and husband.
- The role of a protector and defender of the community and country.
Conclusion
In short, the Bible clearly directs men to lead by example and to be spiritual leaders in the home. It also delineates the many responsibilities that husbands have to their families. This is the responsibility of men and it is found in Scripture. There are many other things men need to do, but this list provides a solid foundation for biblical manhood.
Like Jesus of Nazareth, a true man is obedient to the Father’s Will and is about His Father’s business (Hebrews 10:19). In Jesus Christ is righteousness for He lived a sinless life. And because we have all sinned and fallen short of God’s glory, it is our duty to seek the light that comes from no other but Jesus Christ (Romans 3:23 and John 14:6). It is in this light that the godly man will flee away from sin and strive for a righteous life through Christ. Through the Power of the Holy Spirit, the godly man seeks to keep God’s Law as well as dwell in God’s will. With a grit determination, he steps forward to accomplish God’s will regardless of what it might cost him (Isaiah 50:7). Such a man endures persecution, opposition, hardship, and suffering for Christ’s sake without losing heart (Hebrews 12:3).
What Does The Bible Say About The Role Of The Man Of The House?
The Scriptures say that the man of the house is to be godly in his ways. A godly man is a man who understands God’s Word and whose leadership is directed to the accomplishment of God’s will. He makes use of the Scripture to overcome temptation (Matthew 4:1-10). Joyfully praying without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17), he is considered a man of prayer (Mark 1:35). Such is the man of love and sacrifice as we can read from John 13:1.
1 Corinthians 16:13-14 says, “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love.” With this verse in mind, we can say without a doubt that a true man is vigilant against sin, danger, and is faithful to the Truth. Also, he is brave in the face of opposition, persistent in carrying his cross to follow Jesus Christ on a daily basis, and, above all, loving in all things.
A godly man is portrayed in the Bible’s qualifications for elders and deacons in 1 Timothy 3:2-4; 7 which says, “Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well. . . . He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.”
From 1 Corinthians 13:11, a man worth making use of his authority is a person who has “put away childish things.” He knows what is right and with confidence, he stands for it without fear of persecution. He loves God with all his heart, spirit, and soul (Matthew 22:37). Likewise, he loves his neighbor as he loves himself (Matthew 22:39).
What The Bible Says About The Purpose Of Man (Humanity)
The Bible clearly tells us that we were created by God in order to bring Him glory (Genesis 1:25-31). Thus, the ultimate purpose of man (humanity) is to glorify God (Isaiah 43:7). As His creatures, it is our duty to know Him and make Him known by glorifying Him with our lives. The question now is: how do we glorify God?
Ways To Glorify God
1. Worship Him with gladness and thanksgiving (Psalms 100:2-4)
One of the ways to glorify God, the Father of Creation, is to worship Him with gladness and thanksgiving. That is, we are to acknowledge Him as our creator and worship Him as such.
In support of this point, Psalms 100:2-4 says, “Serve the LORD with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!
Know that the LORD, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!“
2. Honoring and serving Him with our lives and decisions (1 Samuel 12:24)
Honoring and serving God with our lives and decisions is one of the greatest ways to glorify Him for Who He Is. The ability to do this comes from the love in our heart for Who He Is as we can read from 1 Samuel 12:24, “Only fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you.” Always remember that we were created in God’s image and as such, we fulfill our life purpose through a life devoted to Him (Genesis 1:26–27). After a significant period of living a life of self-indulgence, King Solomon came to the conclusion that living for oneself was useless. With this conclusion, he pointed to the fact that the ultimate purpose of man is to live a life of obedience to God (Ecclesiastes 12:13–14).
Humans are naturally sinful. It takes the sin cleansing ability of Jesus Christ for us to be found righteous in the presence of God. Thanks to Jesus Christ’s sacrifice of His own Life on the Cross at Calvary, we have a reconciled relationship with God. That is, there is no longer a sin barrier between those who are in Christ and God. When we submit our lives to Christ, we are able to glorify God in truth and in spirit. This submission comes through Sincere Repentance and obedience to the Key Teachings Of Jesus Christ. In living our lives by following the example of Jesus Christ, we are glorifying Him as well as glorying the One who sent Him (2 Corinthians 3:1–6).
Understanding Your Blessings As A Child Of God
In the New Testament, Apostle Paul affirms that God “had set me apart before I was born” (see Galatians 1:15–16). Whatever you do, always remember that God’s plans and purposes for our lives will always result in His glory. In support of this, 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” Today, we have the ability to glorify God because He first crowned us with glory and honor (Psalms 8:4-6 and Hebrews 2:6-8). In addition to this glory and honor, God gave us dominion over the Earth (Genesis 1:28–29). By so doing, God conferred to us the task of stewarding the earth to the best of our ability and above all for the sake of His Glory.
Five Themes Of Biblical Manhood
1. A man knows the importance of self-control (Titus 2:11-12)
Titus 2:11-12 says, For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age…”
A true man values self-control. That is, he controls his emotions and passions. Whether single or married, a real man tames his passions. As a mature man, he doesn’t abuse women or children but rather protects and provides for them. Knowing where he is coming from and where he is going, he keeps his hands off a woman who is not his wife. He treats his wife with love, respect, and dignity. He teaches his household the importance of loving God and obeying His commands. Also, he protects a single woman’s virginity and innocence. He keeps his eyes off pornographic images and is not defined by his exploits below the waist. Such a man is a God-fearing man. He is a man with a heart and a conscience.
2. A man provides for his household (1 Timothy 5:8)
1 Timothy 5:8 reads, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” It is without a doubt that any man who does not work and provide for his household ends up with a sense of shameful feeling. That is his self-worth sinks. As a man, you must embrace work. You should learn what it takes to obtain a job, work hard, maintain high performance, and be able to meet the needs of your household. Behold, a man who is unable to keep a job, who is always moving from one job to another, or who refuses to willingly assume his family responsibilities is actually putting his household in a state of insecurity. A responsible man is one who provides for his family -emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially, and educationally.
3. A man protects his family (Proverbs 4:10-15)
Here, we’ll borrow an expression from Wayne Grudem and John Piper on the essence of masculinity: When you are lying in bed with your wife and suddenly hear the sound of a kitchen window being opened at 3 a.m., do you shake her awake and say, “The last time this occurred, I was the one who took our baseball bat and investigated to see if someone was breaking into our house. Now it’s your turn, Sweetheart. Here’s the bat!”? Obviously No! However, being a protector to your household calls for far more than just ensuring physical safety. Proverbs 4:10-15 portrays a father who protects his son by passing on wisdom, teaching him the ways of God Almighty, teaching him to reject the lies and temptations of the world, and helping him build godly character. This father is protecting even the generation to come as this wisdom will be passed on.
4. A man serves and leads his family (Ephesians 5:23)
Bible clearly tells us that they are inseparable. In Ephesians 5:23 where Apostle Paul says, “the husband is the head of the wife,” he quickly dismisses any notions that this leadership allows for selfish male dominance. Apostle Paul does this by completing the sentence with “as Christ also is the head of the church.” The passage goes on to say in verse 25 that husbands should love their wives “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” This definition of leadership is quite contrary to that offered by the world. We are trying to say here that a man is called to be a servant-leader-to take responsibility for his wife and children as he puts their needs ahead of his. Also, a man is invited to demonstrate selfless, and sacrificial love.
5. A man follows God’s design for true masculinity (Micah 6:8)
In support of this point, let’s read from Micah 6:8 – “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” The core or essence of every man’s life should be his relationship with God the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven, and Earth. A man who goes after God’s heart knows the importance of embracing his responsibilities.
The Bible tells us that God loves His daughters and the children that they bear. Whenever God gives one of His daughters to a man, He desires that the man love, care, protect, and provide for her. In no way does the Scripture teach that women and children be considered second rate or inferior to men. God finds them so special that He asks for special care to be given the; a care that only Biblically-based men can provide. It is without doubt that women are quite capable of taking care of themselves. However, God created men and women to be physically different. And due to the physical nature and strength that God gave men, He has charged them with the provision and protection of their families. However, the physical nature and strength of a man are to be managed with grace and gentleness.
God did not create men to lord over women nor did He create women to simply sit back and wait on men. Rather, He made them to complement each other through a healthy companionship. Being a good companion is one of the roles of a husband in the Bible. In fact, the role of the husband in the Bible is fulfilled through the heart of companionship.
It is in this light that Ephesians 5:25-33 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
12 Wonderful Responsibilities God Has Given To Men
Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
Below are 10 wonderful responsibilities that God has given to men. Remember that these responsibilities are accompanied by great blessings.
1. To Work
Genesis 2:15 – “The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.”
2. To be Courageous
Joshua 1:9 – “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
3. To be Strong
1 Corinthians 16:13 – “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.”
4. To Love
Matthew 22:37-39 – Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”
5. To be a Husband
Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
6. To be the Head of his Wife
Ephesians 5:23-24 – “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
7. To Serve Sacrificially
Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
John 15:13 – “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.“
8. To be a Father
Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Proverbs 23:24 – “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.”
9. To be Compassionate
1 Peter 3:7 – “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
10. To Provide
1 Timothy 5:8 – “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
11. To be Accountable
1 Corinthians 11:3 – “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”
12. To be Honorable
Proverbs 20:7 – “The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him!“
1 Timothy 5:8 – “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Psalm 1:1-6 – “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; …“
2 Timothy 3:17 – That the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”
1 Corinthians 16:13 – “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”
Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,“
1 Peter 3:7 – “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.“
Genesis 2:18 – Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.””
1 Corinthians 15:58 – “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”
1 Timothy 2:12 – “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.”
Galatians 3:28 – “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
1 Timothy 3:4 – “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive,“
Ephesians 5:23 – “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.“
Titus 2:3-5 – “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
Titus 2:1 – “But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine.”
1 Timothy 2:8 – “I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;”
Genesis 2:7 – “Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.”
1 Corinthians 11:3 – “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.“
Colossians 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Genesis 1:26-27 – Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
2 Thessalonians 3:10 – “For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.”
Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Deuteronomy 28:1-68 – “And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field. Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. …“
John 14:15 – “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”
Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Joshua 24:14-15 – “Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Exodus 20:1-26 – And God spoke all these words, saying, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. “You shall have no other gods before me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, …”
1 Corinthians 14:34 – “The women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says.“
Titus 2:5 – “To be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.“
1 Timothy 3:2 – “Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,“
Deuteronomy 28:47-48 – “Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joyfulness and gladness of heart, because of the abundance of all things, therefore you shall serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you, in hunger and thirst, in nakedness, and lacking everything. And he will put a yoke of iron on your neck until he has destroyed you.“
Acts 6:1-7 – “Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, “It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” And what they said pleased the whole gathering, and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, and Philip, and Prochorus, and Nicanor, and Timon, and Parmenas, and Nicolaus, a proselyte of Antioch. …“
1 Peter 3:1-6 – “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, …“
1 Corinthians 11:8 – “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man.”
Joshua 24:15 – “And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Proverbs 25:26 – “Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.”
1 Timothy 5:14 – “So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.”
Genesis 3:16 – To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”
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