Leadership.
A. Exercise Authority.
1. Husband is head, as Christ is head of church v. 23.
a. Cf. Eph.1:22, "subjection under", "Head over".
b. Depreciation of husbands authority depreciates authority of Christ.
2. Other side, submission illustrated in wife's obligation. Emphatically stated.
No way to squirm around it. Likewise with husband's authority.
3. God requires "respect " for this position, v. 33. Cf. David and Saul.
B. Be Responsible.
1. Accountable. Cf. Executives; Bank presidents, Head coaches, etc.
a. Principle is taught in concept of stewardship. I Cor.4:1-2.
Will give account for selfishness, sloth, etc.
b. Negatively; keeping things under control so that bad things avoided.
c. Positively; utilizing abilities, motivating, encouraging good things. Wife is to be helper. Let her help. Encourage her, Prov.31:28-31.
2. Good manager must be aware. Must say in touch. Be sure that what should be happening is; that what shouldn't be happening, isn't.
a. Must keep household under control. Cf. qualifications of elders,
I Tim. 3:4-5 and deacons I Tim. 3:12.
b. Harder today. Seldom works near home; seldom home for lunch.
Likewise, children are away from home higher percentage of time.
Must work harder today to meet this God given responsibility.
C. Provide.
1. Physical: food, clothing, shelter, I Tim. 5:8.
2. Spiritual. Cf. Example of Christ, Eph.5:26-27.
a. Most important area. Is Father's job, Eph.6:4. Provide leadership
in area of worship, Bible study (Read Bible stories), attendance.
b. Principle area of failure for Fathers. Too often abdicated to wife.
1) Result: Impression that Christianity is not manly. Children learn by example. See that Christianity is for women and children. Cf. Artist pictures of Christ; emaciated, anemic.
2) Christ was a man! (Not Casper Milquetoast).Fought the Devil, won! Grew up in carpenters shop, no power tools. Confronted moneychangers, kicked over tables, drove them out. Not like Mr. Rogers; more like John Wayne.
3. Husband's job is to meet needs of wife & children (whatever the need).
a. Needs of wife, become husband's needs. Cf. Christ and church.
b. May seem irrational, but if important to wife, important to husband.
II. Loving Leadership.
A. Like Christ, Eph.5:23.
1. Describes more than authority, also kind of authority.
Like physical head; supervises nourishment, care of body.
Doesn't run off on own. Constantly concerned, aware.
Dedicated to providing for her benefit, her safety.
2. Should make submission easier, though never easy. Cf. Isa.40:10-11.
3. Should generate love in return, Rom.2:4, I Jn.4:19.
4. Misunderstandings:
a. Such love guarantees wife's love and submission. Cf. Christ.
a. Husband's authority contingent on his Christ-likeness, I Pet.2:23 3:1.
b. Excludes commands, I Cor.14:37 (Some afraid to exercise authority).
B. Like You Care For Your Body, v. 28-29.
1. Two tender Greek words;
a. nourish; "to nourish up to maturity...to bring up." THAYER, p. 200
b. cherish; "lit. to warm, keep warm....to cherish with tender love,
to foster with tender care." Thayer, p. 282
c. v. 31 "one flesh".
2. "as his own body" v.28, Not extent of love but kind of love.
a. Extent is greater; implied in "gave himself up". v. 25.
b. Husband in workshop, slips, gouges arm with tool. Blood drips.
He stops. Gives attention. Immediately heads for medicine chest. Carefully washes, cares for, bandages, protects.
3. "loves himself", v.28. Cf. "as himself" v. 33. A simile. Can't literally.
Involves self-sacrifice, giving self for another. Impossible toward self.
C. With understanding, I Pet. 3:7.
1. "Weaker vessel"; feminine. Ought not to expect wife to act like man. H.S. says they are different. They act differently. Must understand.
2. Listen. Ask. Enter into her situation. See, feel what she is facing.
3. Difficult? No one said job was easy. Is your job. Understand!
(Women think submitting is hard, try understanding.)
D. With honor, I Pet.3:7.
1. Not second class. Husbands not more important. "Joint heirs."
2. Warning if fail. God turns back on such husbands prayers.
E. With love. A command, v. 25.
1. Begin negatively.
a. Col. 3:19, "not embittered". No conditions. No ifs.
Just simple, plain, unconditional command. Do Not!
1) A significant, common problem. Put away, Eph.4:31.
2) Easy to become embittered Especially with high self-image";
(I am not being treated right.)
3) Occurs when offenses not dealt with immediately, Eph.4:26-27.
4) Scriptural solution for husbands bitterness: Realize no excuse! Confess sin. Ask forgiveness of wife. Pray to God.
b. Command proves love is not a feeling.
1) Hollywood distorts. Love is not a "happening".
What happens when happening stops happening?
"Happenings" are not dependable. Feelings are fickle.
2) Contrast love, I Cor.13:8, "never fails".
3) Feeling are result. Learn to put others first. Feel differently.
Feelings are important, but feelings follow. Cf. salvation.
2. Positively: Love is commanded, therefore controllable. Must obey.
a. Ex: Couple says: "Don't love each other any more." Must repent!
b. Objection: "Takes all the romance out of love."
1) Consider part of definition of romance by Webester's NWD:
"a fictitious tale of wonderful and extraordinary events, characterized by much imagination and idealization.", p.1234
2) Would you rather base marriage on fickle feelings (here today, gone tomorrow) or covenant made in presence of God (unchanging lifelong commitment), Mal.2:14.
3) "Romance," as base depends on unrealistic fantasies, fickle feelings, is as far from Biblical love as night is from day.
4) Does not take feelings out! Those who forget self & learn to love, will have feelings beyond imagination. Otherwise chasing rainbow.
3. Scriptural definition:
1) "Do Good"; Give self for another.
Lk.6:27-28, 35; Jn.3:16; IJn.4:9-10; I Jn.3:16-18.
2) Do good for wife....
Ahead of self. Good definition of love.
Ahead of parents. Must leave & cleave, Eph.5:31.
Ahead of children. A temporary relationship. They will leave.
Ahead of work. A means for providing. Not end in itself.
4. V.25, Love is primarily responsibility of husband.
a. Cf. Christ;
1) "first loved us", I Jn.4:19.
2) "loved enemies", Rom.5:6, 8, 10.
b. Husband, if you do not love your wife, you are at fault, regardless. If your love grown cold, You have sinned.
Can't plead, "She doesn't love me." Your job, first! Like Christ.
c. You do that by giving time, interest, money, yourself.
Don't wait for "happening". Plan something specific. Now!
Conclusion:
1. Tremendous, difficult responsibility. We won't be perfect. Christ was.
2. Christ is role model for both husband's authority and wife's submission.
His example demonstrates both, how to do it and that it can be done.
(Both husband and wife fail but responsibility of neither is nullified.)
3. We have guidance of H.S. through God's perfect, complete revelation. Divine wisdom is invaluable advantage. Foolish to think our wisdom is as good or better.
4. Mysterious, marvelous, unbelievable, mankind has marriage proposal from Christ.
Don Patton
Agreements
As a follow-up to our recently published article on nuptial agreements in Florida, here’s a look into the history of what many erroneously believe is a modern invention.
Marital contracts, also referred to as prenuptial agreements, date back to ancient Egypt. One of the earliest known prenups is over 2,000 years old. These written or verbal contracts established the property that each spouse would bring to the marriage. Prenuptial agreements set the bride’s dowry and the bride wealth–the price that a groom would pay the bride’s family in exchange for marrying her. The bride and groom’s parents almost always made these agreements. This practice was commonplace until the early 20th century. For several thousand years, women were not granted the right to own property and choose their spouses. Prenuptial agreements became a way to ensure that a woman could access her husband’s property if he died.
Here are some important history facts about prenuptial agreements:
agreements:
✔️ Two thousand years ago, the Jews provided for an ancient Hebrew marriage contract called a ketubah.
✔️ In France, the customary prenuptial derives from the dowry, first recorded in the ninth century.
✔️ In the United States, New York State passed the Married Women’s Property Act in 1848, ensuring that married women would inherit their husband’s estate.
✔️ The Uniform Premarital Agreement Act (UPAA) was drafted in 1983 partly in response to the large number of people who were getting married and intending to continue to pursue careers outside the home.
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