Man’s Duty As Husband (Jewish Law)

 The additional duties are: (1) To deliver a "ketubah" (marriage contract) providing for the settlement upon the wife, in the case of his death or of divorce, of 200 zuz, if she is a virgin at marriage, or of 100, if she is not. This document includes three conditions () which provide for the sustenance of the wife and the children after the husband's death. These are: (a) that the wife shall obtain her support from her deceased husband's estate as long as she remains in his house; (b) that their daughters shall be supported from the estate until they reach the age of maturity or until they become betrothed; (c) that the sons shall inherit their mother's ketubah over and above their portion in the estate with the children of other wives. (2) To provide medical attendance and care for her during sickness. (3) To pay her ransom if she be taken captive. (4) To provide suitable burial for her (Ket. 46b et seq.; Maimonides, "Yad," Ishut, xii. 2; Shulḥan 'Aruk, Eben ha-'Ezer, 69).

The test case is a husband who refuses to support his wife. What does a religious court do for a woman who makes this claim? The Talmudic case is the rebellious husband, mentioned in the same breath as the more famous rebellious wife. The Mishnah (Kesuvos 63a) states that a rebellious husband is fined for every week he continues in his sinful ways. The Gemara records a debate over the nature of the husband’s rebellion, assuming it is parallel to that of a rebellious wife. According to one opinion, the husband refuses to engage in marital relations. According to another, it is refusal to financially support his wife. Regardless of whether such a man is the rebellious husband of the Mishnah, the Gemara quotes Rav who insists that the husband must divorce his wife and pay her kesuvah.

Tosafos (ad loc., sv. be-omer) quotes R. Eliyahu of Paris who deduces from this passage that a husband must even rent out his services as a laborer (in our language, getting a job) in order to support his wife. If a husband has assets then the court can easily fine him and even take from his assets to pay that fine. But what if he has no money and refuses to work? According to R. Eliyahu, a court can order him to work (although will certainly face difficulty in enforcing that order). R. Eliyahu adds a proof from the text of the kesuvah mentioned above. The husband has obligated himself to work (eflach) and can be forced to honor that promise.

However, Rabbenu Tam disagrees. Rashi and Rabbenu Chananel explain this passage as meaning that the husband rebels not from work but from the support he gives his wife in exchange for her housework. He supports her and she keeps the house. The word “work,” according to these commentators, refers to the wife and not the husband.

III. Kesuvah Obligation

Additionally, Rabbenu Tam explains the phrasing of the kesuvah means that the husband pledges to work around the house, including growing vegetables for food if necessary. It does not mean renting out his services for pay.

Ritva (ad loc.) offers a different interpretation of the kesuvah. According to his reading, it means supporting a wife who is ill. Just like a husband must pay for his wife’s medical bills, he must also work to provide for her during her illness. However, he is not obligated to work to support her when she is healthy. Alternately, perhaps it is just flowery language and means that the husband will support the wife if he can. (Again, if a husband has any money then he is obligated to use it to support his wife. The issue here is whether a man with no money is obligated to earn some to fulfill his marital responsibilities.)

IV. Paying Obligations

The Machaneh Ephraim (Hilkhos Sekhirus Po’alim, no. 2) quotes the Rosh who states that a man is not normally obligated to work to pay a debt. If he lacks the funds, he does not pay even if he is intentionally unemployed. However, according to R. Eliyahu, a husband’s obligation to his wife is unique. Unlike other financial obligations, a man must work to pay off his debt to his wife.

However, the Machaneh Ephraim disagrees that a man’s debt to his wife is unlike other financial obligations. Rather, he suggests, the debate between R. Eliyahu and Rabbenu Tam revolve around the language of the kesuvah. According to R. Eliyahu, a husband explicitly accepts a condition of higher financial obligation to his wife by agreeing to the kesuvah. According to Rabbenu Tam, that condition does not include an obligation to work.

V. Conclusion

As already mentioned, the Ritva agrees with Rabbenu Tam, as does the Rosh. The Radbaz (Responsa, 3:566) also rules like Rabbenu Tam. However, R. Meir of Rothenberg (cited by the Tur) quotes the French rabbis who agree with R. Eliyahu. The Semag (lavin 81) also follows R. Eliyahu. In Shulchan Arukh (Even Ha-Ezer 70:3), the Rema quotes R. Eliyahu’s view as “some say” and the Vilna Gaon (ad loc., no. 9) states that most authorities agree with Rabbenu Tam.

In practice, I don’t know what contemporary religious courts do when a husband refuses to look for employment and a wife complains.

In the book of Ruth, Chapter 3, we see Ruth going to the Jewish leader Boaz in the middle of the night, to tell him that he was to marry her, as was his obligation. He did so, and they had a son, and from that union, King David’s grandfather was born.

During the exile in Persia, during a time where the prevailing culture was so anti women that the Queen Vashti was killed so that no one might imitate her and dare stand up to their husbands (Esther, Chapter 1), Jewish Queen Esther initiated reaching out to her husband Ahasuerus, knowing that she was risking death by doing so, in order to save the Jewish people.

During the story of Chanukah,we have the story of the woman Judith who takes the initiative and seduces Holofernes, before beheading him, saving the Jewish people from the invading army. (Judith, Chapter 13).

Judaism has many, many, many more references to women taking initiative and standing up to men doing the wrong thing. Examples of this are Miriam telling her father Amram that he was doing wrong by separating from his wife, to avoid birthing another son that would be thrown in the Nile, influencing all the other Jews to do so, and Amram listening to her, remarrying his wife and conceiving the redeemer Moses (Sota 12b). The righteous Jewish slave women in Egypt were credited for being the cause of the redemption of the Jewish people, since they took the initiative and seduced their exhausted husbands, and then did their part to protect their children from the Egyptians by hiding them in the fields (Sotah 11b). When the men of Israel were trying to create the Golden Calf, the men asked their wives to contribute their jewelry, to which they refused (Exodus 32). 

It is said that “Chochmat nashim banta beita”, the wisdom of women builds homes (Mishlei 14), and we see this time after time after time in Jewish history, throughout Jewish sources since the very start. The way women build a home is by standing up, speaking out, making their thoughts and opinions known, taking initiative, and definitely not by shutting up, nullifying their will, and making themselves subservient to their husbands. This is not a Jewish ideal and it is so sad that so many people have internalized problematic Christian theology to the point of thinking that that is the Jewish stance. Judaism believes in strong and vocal women, and it’s time for the problematic voices in religious Jewish society to return to true Jewish values and views of women’s roles.

Support of Wife.

The husband must allow for the support of his wife as much as comports with his dignity

She ascends with him, but does not descend," is the Talmudic principle; that is to say, she is entitled to all the advantages of his station in life without losing any of those which she enjoyed before marriage (Ket. 48a, 61a). The poorest man must furnish his wife with bread for at least two meals a day; with sufficient oil for eating and for lighting purposes, and wood for cooking; with fruit, vegetables, and wine where it is customary for women to drink it. On the Sabbath-day he must furnish her with three meals consisting of fish and meat; and he must give her a silver coin ("ma'ah") every week for pocket-money. If he can not afford to give her even that much, he is, according to some, compelled to grant her a bill of divorce (see "Ḥatam Sofer" on Eben ha-'Ezer, 131, 132). Others thinkthat he should hire himself out as a day-laborer to provide for his wife. If he refuses to support her, the court compels him to do so (Ket. 77a).

The wife is to receive her board at her husband's table; and in the opinion of most authorities he can not send her away from his table against her will, even if he gives her sufficient money for all her requirements. She can, however, leave his house, either if he lives in a disreputable neighborhood or if he maltreats her; and in such cases he is obliged to support her wherever she takes up her abode. If the husband leaves her for some time, the court allows her support from his property; and even if she sells his property for her support without consulting the authorities, the sale is valid. If she borrows money for her actual support during his absence, the husband has to pay the debt on his return; but if some one of his own free will gives her money for her support, he "puts his money on the horns of a deer," i.e., he can not collect it from the husband. The same law applies if the husband becomes insane ("Yad," l.c. xii. 10-22; Eben ha-'Ezer, 70).

Clothing and Lodging.

The husband's duty to furnish raiment to his wife is also regulated by his station and by local custom. He is obliged to provide a home, which must be suitably furnished in accordance with his position and with custom. Besides furnishing her with the proper garments suited to the seasons of the year, and with new shoes for each holy day, he must also provide her with bedding and with kitchen utensils. She must also be supplied with ornaments and perfumes, if such is the custom. If he is unable to provide his wife with a suitable outfit, he is compelled to divorce her (Ket. 64b; "Yad," l.c. xiii. 1-11; Eben ha-'Ezer, 73). On the duty of the wife to follow her husband when he wishes to change his abode see Domicil.

The duty of cohabitation is regulated by the Rabbis in accordance with the occupation in which the husband is engaged (Ket. 61b). Continued refusal of cohabitation constitutes a cause for divorce ("Yad," l.c. xiv. 1-16; Eben ha-'Ezer, 76, 77; see Ketubah).

The husband must defray all medical expenses in case of his wife's illness. If she suffers from a disease which may be prolonged for many years, although legally he may pay her the amount fixed in her ketubah and give her a bill of divorce, such action is regarded as inhuman, and he is urged to provide all that is necessary for her cure (Ket. 51a; "Yad," l.c. xiv. 17; "Maggid Mishneh," ad loc.; Eben ha-'Ezer, 79; "Be'er Heṭeb," § 5; comp. "Pitḥe Teshubah" to 78, 1, concerning a case where sickness follows a fault of her own).

Ransom.

The husband is obliged to ransom his wife from captivity, even when the expense is far above the amount promised her in the marriage settlement. Ordinarily, it is the law not to pay for captives more than their market value as slaves, so as not to encourage pirates and officials in their nefarious practise (Giṭ. 45a); but according to some, in the case of the capture of his wife the husband must, if necessary, expend all his belongings for her ransom. The priest whose wife has been taken captive, although he can not afterward live with her (see Priest), is still obliged to pay her ransom, to restore her to her father's house, and to pay her the amount of her ketubah. If they were both taken captive, the court may sell part of his property and ransom her first, even though he protests (Ket. 51a; "Yad," l.c. xiv. 18-22; Eben ha-'Ezer, 78; Shulḥan 'Aruk, Yorch De'ah, 252, 10).

If she die before him, he must provide for her burial according to the custom of the land and according to his position. He must hire mourners, if such be the custom, erect a tombstone, and make such other provisions as custom may demand. If he refuse to do so, or if he be absent, the court may sell part of his property to defray the burial expenses (Ket. 46a; "Yad," l.c. xiv. 23, 24; Eben ha-'Ezer, 89).

The rights of the husband are as follows: He is entitled (1) to all the wife's earnings, (2) to all her chance gains, and (3) to the usufruct of her property, and (4) he becomes her sole heir at her death (this last principle, however, was modified in the Middle Ages in various ways).

Married Women's Duties.

The husband's right to his wife's earnings is in consideration of his duty to support her; hence if she wishes to support herself, she need not deliver her earnings to him. Yet he can not compel her to live on her earnings. The wife has to do all the housework, such as baking, cooking, and washing, as well as nurse her children. If she has twins, the husband has to provide a nurse for one, while she nurses the other (Ket. 59b). If she brought him a large dowry, she need not do any work in the house, except such as tends to the case and comfort of her husband and as is of an affectionate nature, viz., prepare his bed, serve at the table, and so forth. At all times, however, she must do something; for "idleness leads to immorality." Raising animals or playing games is not regarded as an occupation (Ket. 52b, 61b; "Yad," l.c. xxi.; Eben ha-'Ezer, 80).

For the husband's right in the usufruct of his wife's property and for his right of inheritance see Dowryand Inheritance.

Besides these positive legal enactments, Talmudic literature abounds with maxims and precepts regarding the attitude of the husband toward his wife. He shall love her as himself and honor her more than himself (Sanh. 76b; Yeb. 62b). "If thy wife is small, bend down and whisper into her ear," was a common saying among the Rabbis; meaning that one should take counsel with his wife in all worldly matters (B. M. 59b; comp. Midr. Leḳaḥ Ṭob to Num. xvi.). He shall not afflict her; for God counts her tears. One who honors his wife will be rewarded with wealth (B. M. 59b). The husband shall not be imperious in his household (Giṭ. 6b). God's presence dwells in a pure and loving home(Soṭah 17a). The altar sheds tears for him who divorces his first wife; and he is hated before God (Giṭ. 90b). He who sees his wife die before him has, as it were, seen the destruction of the Temple: his world is darkened; his step is slow; his mind is heavy. The wife dies in the husband's death; he in hers (Sanh. 22a).

The rights of the wife are implied in the husband's duties, while her duties are mainly comprised in his rights. She should not go out too much (Gen. R. lxv. 2), and should be modest even if alone with her husband (Shab. 140b). The greatest praise that can be said of a woman is that she fulfils the wishes of her husband (Ned. 66b). See also Marriage.

Bibliography:

• Hastings, Dict. Bible, s.v. Marriage;
• Mayer, Die Rechte der Israeliten, Athener und Römer, ii., §§ 229, 230, Leipsic, 1866;
• Mielziner, The Jewish Law of Marriage and Divorce, ch. xiii., Cincinnati, 1884;
• Buchholz, Die Familie, pp. 116-

Ketubah

In the state of Israel, marriage and divorce are conducted according to the personal-religious law. This means that when a Jewish couple want to marry, the marriage will be according to the Jewish law. This being said, the procedure of divorce includes not only the divorce itself but other matters regarding division of the common property of the couple as well as matters of child custody, child support and in some cases wife alimony. All these procedures are quite common in divorce cases. However, the divorce procedure sometimes includes lees common procedures such as a claim for the Ketubah.

 

In this article I’ll talk about the relevant law regarding the Ketubah, I’ll explain what a Ketubah is, what one needs to know about it and does it have legal validity.  Let me start by saying that the Ketubah is actually a contract between a husband and a wife that is signed during the wedding, where the husband commits to compensate the wife with a certain sum of money in case of a divorce. But what is the law in a case where a person commits to a very high sum of money in the Ketubah but divorces ten years later? Will he still be committed to the sum in the Ketubah? This question and others that might occupy the thoughts of men, will be answered below.

 

In the article I’ll also explain shortly what a divorce procedure is and what the proceedings in it include, so as to better explain the base of the Ketubah and the relevant law to the Ketubah.

 

This article is general and is not a substitute for legal advice. For this purpose, you can contact our office and arrange a consultation meeting.

A few words on the laws of marriage and divorce in the State of Israel

Matters of marriage and divorce are regulated in the state of Israel according to the personal-religious law of the couple. During the British Mandate, before the declaration of independence and the establishment of the state of Israel, the mandatory legislature passed a law called the King’s Order to the Council for the Land of Israel. This law states that the members of the religions in the Land of Israel shall retain the authority to deal with the issue of personal status. After the establishment of the state of Israel, the Rabbinic Courts (Marriage and Divorce) Law, 5713-1953 was legislated. This law regards Jews and replaced the mandatory law. As for the other faiths recognized in Israel, the provisions of the King’s Order to the Council have not been revoked even today, and hence the authority of the Muslim, Christian and Druze courts to deal with the matter of marriage and divorce. The Rabbinic law states that marriage and divorce between Jews will be according to the law of the Torah and the sole jurisdiction in these matter is reserved to the Rabbinic court and no other court can rule in these matters. This means that a Jewish couple who what to divorce in Israel will have to file a claim for divorce to the Rabbinic court. Filling a claim involves a fee and submission of documents such as the marriage certificate and, one must include in the written claim all the relevant facts that caused for the request of the divorce.

 

The causes of the divorce are not fixed in the Knesset legislation, but are the grounds for divorce that are fixed in the Jewish religious law. Some of the known reasons for divorce are treason, that is, a situation in which a married woman has sex with another man. Another cause for divorce is violence by the woman or by the man. Sexual dissatisfaction also constitutes grounds for divorce under the Jewish religious law. If the cause for divorce is proven before the Rabbinic Court, the latter may order a gGt, or in other words, a divorce.

 

However, managing a divorce claim in the Rabbinic Court is not a trivial matter. This is a legal action for all intents and purposes. The couple will testify and present evidence to prove the justness of the claim. Note that a divorce claim is heard before a panel of three Dayanim in the Rabbinic Court.

 

A divorce claim can also be handled in another way which is by agreement. In other words, a couple can arrange between them or with the assistance of a divorce attorney, a divorce agreement. If the couple has signed a divorce agreement, they must submit it to the Rabbinic Court by filing a claim called “A claim to authorize a divorce agreement.” If the divorce is done by agreement the procedure will be much easier than managing a divorce claim from start to finish.

 

Note that the divorce claim in the Rabbinic court is not the only matter the couple will have to regulate, as I will explain below.

 

Subjects regarding the divorce procedure

Divorce in the Rabbinic court does bring to a formal separation between the couple, however, they have common property and children who need child support. These matters of custody, child support and property, which are connected to the essence of the divorce, are matters that the couple have to regulate, so as to separate totally. Below, I will review shortly these subjects.

 

Child support

In Israel, a father is obliged to pay for his children’s needs by the Jewish law, i.e. the Jewish Halachah. There are two categories – by law and charity. By law, the father is obliged to pay regardless of his income. Child support by law includes all the basic necessities needed to raise a child. Up to the age of 6 years, all the expenses are regarded as basic necessities and the father is obliged to pay for them.

 

Once the child has passed the age of 6 years the father is obliged to pay some of the needs by charity. All the non-basic needs, such as enrichment classes (Hugim), outings etc. the father is obliged to pay according to his income and the court will take in to account the income of the mother and the amount of custody each parent has. This being said, the father still has to pay child support by law for all basic necessities. Child support is an integral part of the divorce procedure and parents have to regulate this matter regarding their common children. Child support matters are heard both at the family court and the Rabbinic court – both courts have jurisdiction regarding this matter.

 

Child custody

When having common children, the most important issue to determine is the custody of the children. Parents have to decide which one will be the sole custodial parent who will be responsible for the day-to-day bringing up of the children. They must also determine how the visitation rights of the non-custodial parent will be executed. Visitation right are regular times during the week in which the non-custodial parent will spent time with his/her children and will take care of them. Note that custody does not have to be one sided but can be joint. This means that both parent get to spend equal time with the children and share the burden of child support by charity. Child custody is heard in the family court. The court will rule according to the best interest of the child when it comes to custody.

 

Division of property between a couple

Another important matter that a couple divorcing need to regulate is the matter of common property. During the marriage, the couple have accumulated common property, such as their house, cars etc. when divorcing, the question arises – how to divide?

 

The answer is set forth in the Financial Relations Between Spouses Law, 5733-1973, which states that when divorcing, the couple’s joint property shall be divided equally between them. The term “joint property” does not include certain types of property such as disability allowance, widowhood allowance and property received by one of the spouses as a gift or before marriage.

 

The couple may deviate from the above-mentioned default that determines the distribution of joint property, by means of a financial agreement. As part of a financial agreement, the couple can determine a different property distribution. However, it is important to emphasize that a financial agreement is an agreement that must be approved by the Family Court or by a notary, if it is signed between spouses who have not been married.

What is a Ketubah?

Up to now I have established a basis regarding the procedure of divorce is Israel, so as to reach the next stage – the law regarding the Ketubah. The Ketubah is an inseparable part of the divorce procedure. Filing for the Ketubah is a separate cause by the laws of marriage and divorce. Hence, to understand what a Ketubah is and its context, one must understand divorce procedures and the law in Israel, including the Rabbinic court’s jurisdiction in this matter.

 

The Ketubah can be described as a title deed but it can also be called a contract. Actually, it is both. The Ketubah is a document that the husband signs during the wedding where he commits to compensate the wife with a sum of money in case of a divorce. The Ketubah is meant to insure the wife has a suitable means of existing financially, in case of a divorce. According to the Jewish law, a divorce is a situation where the husband “drives out” the wife. Therefore, the Ketubah was meant to prevent a situation where the wife is driven out of her husband’s house in poverty.

 

There is no doubt that the Ketubah, which is an ancient document, is not always relevant to our times. On the one hand, there is a kind of harm to women in the Ketubah, a violation that is expressed in the basic perception that the woman is weak and therefore must be protected. On the other hand, there is no doubt that the ketubah has a worthy purpose and is to ensure proper economic existence for a woman who leaves her husband’s house. However, the Ketubah is still a relevant document for a very simple reason: the laws of marriage and divorce between Jews in the State of Israel are still regulated by the personal-religious law. The Ketubah is a part of the marriage ceremony and today it has binding validity, as I shall explain in greater detail below.

 

Now, let’s go back to the term Ketubah. A Ketubah is indeed an enforceable deed of ownership. In the framework of that title deed, the husband signs a certain payment to be given to the woman at the time of divorce. On the other hand, a Ketubah is also a contract, in which the husband undertakes to compensate the woman in the event of divorce. Moreover, because the contract is also a title deed, then Ketubah is a viable document in a legal action. A woman may file a claim to receive the Ketubah money, as mentioned in Ketubah. It should also be emphasized that a Ketubah is linked to the Consumer Price Index, so that the amount written in it in a particular year will be linked until realization is fulfilled, should it indeed be realized.

 

A Ketubah is composed of three parts, together forming the Ketubah as a whole. The first part includes the date, place names of the couple and the husband’s commitment to tack care of the wife. In the ketubah, the husband is obligated to indicate a minimal monetary sum, which he will bear at the time of divorce, in favor of the woman. The Halacha establishes a symbolic amount that must be noted in the Ketubah itself. The second part of Ketubah is an addition to the Ketubah. As part of the addition, the husband can add to the minimum amount specified in the Ketubah itself. Respectively, the third part of the Ketubah is the dowry. A dowry is the sum of the assets or the money that the woman brings to the marriage. Incidentally, according to Halacha, when divorcing, the husband must return the dowry to the wife and at the same time he is obliged to compensate her according to written amount as stated.

 

Caution when writing a Ketubah

Now, let’s go back to the term Ketubah. A Ketubah is indeed an enforceable deed of ownership. In the framework of that title deed, the husband signs a certain payment to be given to the woman at the time of divorce. On the other hand, a Ketubah is also a contract, in which the husband undertakes to compensate the woman in the event of divorce. Moreover, because the contract is also a title deed, then Ketubah is a viable document in a legal action. A woman may file a claim to receive the Ketubah money, as mentioned in Ketubah. It should also be emphasized that a Ketubah is linked to the Consumer Price Index, so that the amount written in it in a particular year will be linked until realization is fulfilled, should it indeed be realized.

 

A Ketubah is composed of three parts, together forming the Ketubah as a whole. The first part includes the date, place names of the couple and the husband’s commitment to tack care of the wife. In the ketubah, the husband is obligated to indicate a minimal monetary sum, which he will bear at the time of divorce, in favor of the woman. The Halacha establishes a symbolic amount that must be noted in the Ketubah itself. The second part of Ketubah is an addition to the Ketubah. As part of the addition, the husband can add to the minimum amount specified in the Ketubah itself. Respectively, the third part of the Ketubah is the dowry. A dowry is the sum of the assets or the money that the woman brings to the marriage. Incidentally, according to Halacha, when divorcing, the husband must return the dowry to the wife and at the same time he is obliged to compensate her according to written amount as stated.